tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32727322786617685222024-02-06T22:47:45.724-05:00Dibbly FreshA pop culture blog devoted to snarking lit, kid lit, movies, TV shows, and more.Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comBlogger204125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-40762465652022598652012-01-09T10:26:00.001-05:002012-01-09T10:27:33.171-05:00In Which Sadako Ruins the MoviesHey guys. I guess I can't sneak in a new post without an explanation of where I've been and why I haven't been blogging. To make a long story short...grad school and the chance to actually do some publishable writing. But I've had a little extra time, so if there's anyone still out there, enjoy!<br /><br />Today's blog post is about why I'm not a movie star. (No, it's got nothing to do with acting talent.) I'd ruin most movies if I were in them. And...here's how!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo</span><br /><br /><a href="http://clockworkmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/The-Girl-With-The-Dragon-Tattoo_featured.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 285px; height: 174px;" src="http://clockworkmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/The-Girl-With-The-Dragon-Tattoo_featured.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Martin Vanger: "My niece Harriet went missing years ago. I believe she was murdered. These flowers are from Harriet. She gave me one every year on my birthday. The rest...from her killer. Can you help me?"<br /><br />Sadako: "Have you tried Googling it?"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Graduate</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/FullPlastics11.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 289px; height: 179px;" src="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/FullPlastics11.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Mr. MacGuire: "I just want to say one word to you. Plastics."<br /><br />Sadako: "Okay."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Graduate morphs into Dr. 90210</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fight Club</span><br /><br /><a href="http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn159/tat2dindian/FightClub_Insomnia.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 431px; height: 198px;" src="http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn159/tat2dindian/FightClub_Insomnia.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sadako: "Help, doctor, I've got insomnia and I'm waking up in weird places and losing track of time."<br /><br />Doctor: "Well, I can't give you anything to help you sleep, but I know a good support group."<br /><br />Sadako: "For insomniacs?"<br /><br />Doctor: "For people with testicular cancer."<br /><br />Sadako: "NyQuil cocktail, here I come!"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Black Swan</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.themoviebanter.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/black-swan-2010.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 364px; height: 195px;" src="http://www.themoviebanter.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/black-swan-2010.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sadako: "Well. Nobody's perfect."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Clueless</span><br /><br /><a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTzw5QeOuBvz5Xo380CNYLuyypaCi2cklWzuh27xoqxB4B0GHk-u0p7g6ag"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 168px;" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTzw5QeOuBvz5Xo380CNYLuyypaCi2cklWzuh27xoqxB4B0GHk-u0p7g6ag" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Tai: "Hope to see you soon and not sporadically!"<br /><br />Sadako: "Let's forget the trip to Rodeo Drive and the Fall of the House of Usher-esque relationship waiting for me at the end of this movie and see if we can find a few copies of Strunk and White instead."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dirty Dancing</span><br /><br /><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/00/Dirty_Dancing.jpg/220px-Dirty_Dancing.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 343px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/00/Dirty_Dancing.jpg/220px-Dirty_Dancing.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Neil Kellerman: "Last week, I took a girl from Jamie the lifeguard. And he said, 'What does he have that I don't have?' And she said, 'Two hotels.' I'm known as the catch of the county."<br /><br />Sadako: *swoon*<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Girl With the Dragon Tattoo</span>, again<br /><br />Karen O: "We come from the land of the ice and snow..."<br /><br />Sadako: "Can someone turn down the music? Also, it's so dry here. The cold air makes me wheeze! Do you have a humidifier?"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Exorcist</span><br /><br /><a href="http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BNzYwMDA0NTA3M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDcwNDY3Mg@@._V1._SY317_CR0,0,214,317_.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 317px;" src="http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BNzYwMDA0NTA3M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDcwNDY3Mg@@._V1._SY317_CR0,0,214,317_.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Demon: "What an excellent day for an exorcism."<br /><br />Sadako: "I...can't tell if you're being sarcastic, dude."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ghost World</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.thefoxisblack.com/blogimages/tamponteacup.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 331px; height: 289px;" src="http://www.thefoxisblack.com/blogimages/tamponteacup.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sadako: "Art teacher lady, art teacher lady! I've stopped drawing comics and I've got a new art project idea. I call it: Venus of Monistat!"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jurassic Park</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYfAsQaCH7W5sst6Ti4tkEXactVxgcvoTtpKTrpxh0PJS7hzWo_Q6LKipikcJoj3oZHjG0BNDnU-13jatVo0QOdiq93sdYFVVAMou_jj9MZPKiuGOToq_B3_iju-hTXMRg-OIOND_Ph2xG/s1600/jurassic_kitchen_raptor.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 298px; height: 261px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYfAsQaCH7W5sst6Ti4tkEXactVxgcvoTtpKTrpxh0PJS7hzWo_Q6LKipikcJoj3oZHjG0BNDnU-13jatVo0QOdiq93sdYFVVAMou_jj9MZPKiuGOToq_B3_iju-hTXMRg-OIOND_Ph2xG/s1600/jurassic_kitchen_raptor.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Alan Grant: "But what about the other raptors?"<br /><br />Legs Satler: "We're safe. Unless they figure out how to open doors."<br /><br />Sadako-Raptor: *cackles* "Oh, crap. Damn child locks..."<br /><br />Muldoon: "I take back my <span style="font-style: italic;">clevah girl</span>!"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mean Girls</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqNDvpiQuUrHyHPa3zIYOEfemZIL7gsb2iJgHr4u2Tn9NBVy_AWBtJOcoqTL4icn5Eitam8ww1GCzewMsIAUJl0BV3vKFr4vRNMhTpqTQ8sShxpWmIQi69kozSqvpO16PfrA3d49S7Znus/s400/004MGI_Tina_Fey_003.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 266px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqNDvpiQuUrHyHPa3zIYOEfemZIL7gsb2iJgHr4u2Tn9NBVy_AWBtJOcoqTL4icn5Eitam8ww1GCzewMsIAUJl0BV3vKFr4vRNMhTpqTQ8sShxpWmIQi69kozSqvpO16PfrA3d49S7Znus/s400/004MGI_Tina_Fey_003.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Ms. Norbury: "Okay, you were mean, superficial, looked hot in a tank top, and you spread vicious rumors. But if you become a Mathlete, you can redeem yourself. Can you do it?"<br /><br />Sadako: "Don't ask me, I'm just a girl!"<br /><br />Seriously, if <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mean Girls</span> had had a subplot where Cady was quizzed on the Newbery award winners from the last twenty years, I totally could have done it. But in the face of math, I turn into an Elle Woods-esque mess.Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-90253791634364411112011-03-28T09:30:00.001-04:002011-03-28T12:15:58.395-04:00Lessons I Learned from Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Part IIHere's Part II of what I learned from <span style="font-style: italic;">Are You Afraid of the Dark?</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tale of the Dream Machine</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_U6-yYJ9f2ndHqAZxOeTPoB0DYW09dsflTgCaG38akSFu036PbV7nqd6PJwUfObMOla0Y7tAhUQNhm3oqp7CfNnNZm7OjCNPxdWZIcG6rEDYKnIEDMOc7QjIop199Z4A3n7xfHwnf9-wW/s1600/dream+machine.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_U6-yYJ9f2ndHqAZxOeTPoB0DYW09dsflTgCaG38akSFu036PbV7nqd6PJwUfObMOla0Y7tAhUQNhm3oqp7CfNnNZm7OjCNPxdWZIcG6rEDYKnIEDMOc7QjIop199Z4A3n7xfHwnf9-wW/s320/dream+machine.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586372772524914354" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: An Asian boy finds a typewriter that transforms whatever stories he writes on it into dreams. When read aloud, the stories actually happen. The boy, his African American best friend, and his Hispanic love interest have to stop the dream machine before it's too late.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Goosebumps may have been first in vaguely Twilight Zone-esque twist endings, but <span style="font-style: italic;">Are You Afraid of the Dark</span> was doing diversity years before <span style="font-style: italic;">Glee</span> was ever conceived or Lady Gaga came up with the tagline Born That Way.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tale of the Dangerous Soup</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlbaEoz2g4fLZ853s0IXz-HDTK9L5tU9KLJXOLC5gKuyRT31yp0xF8VpQYgnv4QPd5DwqH-an7vjPaBkq3XvEG6gi7oaimRb5Zp6K6bgukv0qgJV_hM9diZ5X4Ya1UVqkqgqpxhb66cW89/s1600/tale+of+dang+soup.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 236px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlbaEoz2g4fLZ853s0IXz-HDTK9L5tU9KLJXOLC5gKuyRT31yp0xF8VpQYgnv4QPd5DwqH-an7vjPaBkq3XvEG6gi7oaimRb5Zp6K6bgukv0qgJV_hM9diZ5X4Ya1UVqkqgqpxhb66cW89/s320/tale+of+dang+soup.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586373459535025042" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: The famous Dr. Vink is running his own restaurant! He uses a strange statue to collect people's fear to make wonderful tasting soup. Two of his employees are on to him and plan to stop him before it's too late.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: If Andy Warhol had been alive when this episode first aired, I think he would have ended up balled in a fetal position, because this episode did more to eviscerate the warm cuddly Grandma related image of soup than his soup can poster ever did.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tale of the Midnight Madness</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgfraVHeAlfYqh0DYJe8gYASEY7qcxDxvHAJeZeOYKMW8-hhHFBmjIUmnDIc8562fVI0fc1b6Stu2ayu8K-Bt46EL944Fzgc-mqIuij3xS5XheGmUig6IRQIbD9PYvj8fxYf2_5iaTOb3p/s1600/tale+of+midnight+madness.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgfraVHeAlfYqh0DYJe8gYASEY7qcxDxvHAJeZeOYKMW8-hhHFBmjIUmnDIc8562fVI0fc1b6Stu2ayu8K-Bt46EL944Fzgc-mqIuij3xS5XheGmUig6IRQIbD9PYvj8fxYf2_5iaTOb3p/s320/tale+of+midnight+madness.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586373633046552050" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Dr. Vink brings a frightening Nosferatu film to an old movie theatre about to go under. Suddenly, the theatre is a success but when the theatre's owner reneges on his end of the bargain, Dr. Vink unleashes the vampire from the movie on the theatre and its employees.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Not only can Dr. Vink make wonderful soup, he's also in the movie business. Why did Oprah decide to make Dr. Phil happen instead of this guy?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tale of Apartment 214</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKHAet71VXaXw0T_2Cv33tABs8uZbxusAjogoPKCdRzz638bc8fD1Y4dRzRj5rWvqx0urAeD1oAig6EomYVXEqT9Cm9_6ScbDaJfsZ2vnh_NprwKpTtjcRLSsxsxgeyfOwbztb6u2Wi9SF/s1600/tale+of+apt.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 262px; height: 193px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKHAet71VXaXw0T_2Cv33tABs8uZbxusAjogoPKCdRzz638bc8fD1Y4dRzRj5rWvqx0urAeD1oAig6EomYVXEqT9Cm9_6ScbDaJfsZ2vnh_NprwKpTtjcRLSsxsxgeyfOwbztb6u2Wi9SF/s320/tale+of+apt.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586372780776961426" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A girl and her mother move in to an apartment building. She meets a lonely old woman who lives in Apartment 214. She agrees to spend time on one particular day with the old woman but when she forgets, it turns out that the woman who was a ghost who died on that day. In the end, they both apologize and decide to go on being friends.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: When looking for a ghost to share your life with, make sure you specify in your roommate ad that they need to be familiar with the works of Harry Belafonte.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tale of the Silent Servant</span><span><br /><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkg6_BdLbj6H7aPXIVm34fM3IReCa1PASfsDn8pQM9NUFGGOZ0x6x-3asFILgvvoJukpzc6VC5U80jKOGMnbouMXMCPv8dOc0tS0w0bAcc-A3zttnzx1B6Cszj8Tnxmfxg-kVV5p7876MB/s1600/silent+servant.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkg6_BdLbj6H7aPXIVm34fM3IReCa1PASfsDn8pQM9NUFGGOZ0x6x-3asFILgvvoJukpzc6VC5U80jKOGMnbouMXMCPv8dOc0tS0w0bAcc-A3zttnzx1B6Cszj8Tnxmfxg-kVV5p7876MB/s320/silent+servant.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586375870521955010" border="0" /></a><br /><span><br />Synopsis: Anne and her cousin Jared find themselves doing nothing but chores at Anne's father's farm one summer. When they discover an old scarecrow who will obey their every command, they're ecstatic at first...but will they get more than they bargained for?<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Anyone else remember the <span style="font-style: italic;">Goosebumps</span> book <span style="font-style: italic;">The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight</span>? Since this episode aired a year before it came out, I'm going to call shenanigans on R.L. Stine. Since I know that he used to write for Nick Jr. (specifically, for <span style="font-style: italic;">Eureka's Castle</span>), it's taught me a lesson: be careful what writers you idolize as a child. Also, it put the idea in my head of going back and rewatching old <span style="font-style: italic;">Eureka's Castle</span> episodes to see if old man Stine was lifting ideas from obscure Japanese children's shows.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tale of the Dead Man's Float</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGihfZWOeHf7QuAAw8CjMNJjtJuxRH14AylRouYrvZS3ENzOt5JjUyR5CAI4Iu9Bc_uwKQja7r9BdjEkzKTIBohaXd3IF3kcdnjTRcXZzCXM2xjgGeH6UpB5v59RahIR6Ml88MfZFxkjeH/s1600/dead+man+float.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 233px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGihfZWOeHf7QuAAw8CjMNJjtJuxRH14AylRouYrvZS3ENzOt5JjUyR5CAI4Iu9Bc_uwKQja7r9BdjEkzKTIBohaXd3IF3kcdnjTRcXZzCXM2xjgGeH6UpB5v59RahIR6Ml88MfZFxkjeH/s320/dead+man+float.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586372770913591842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A nerdy boy named Zeke and the girl he likes, Clorice, find an old swimming pool in the school. However, in doing so, they uncover an angry spirit that lives in the pool and that killed a little boy years ago. The school janitor--who was the lifeguard on duty the night that the little boy drowned--helps them in doing so.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Between this episode and the <span style="font-style: italic;">Boy Meets World</span> where Chet Hunter becomes a custodian at Shawn's school, I've come to realize the tragic nobility of the janitor and his calling.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tale of the Chameleons</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBQt0YWjEgurDkUermweyhN4eX4P7Gky6cogDHW-1v7l9APO7qDfHEVXq-CW0UdIHkKG0dSKHX4nbc_0_XPcEUMi2SGb0-HKVqUCJqyZjlpjt2bILFT1YonSoXeFJ_RWX6KGPLHZbpqUTU/s1600/tale+of+cham.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 236px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBQt0YWjEgurDkUermweyhN4eX4P7Gky6cogDHW-1v7l9APO7qDfHEVXq-CW0UdIHkKG0dSKHX4nbc_0_XPcEUMi2SGb0-HKVqUCJqyZjlpjt2bILFT1YonSoXeFJ_RWX6KGPLHZbpqUTU/s320/tale+of+cham.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586373454284308578" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A girl and her friend find themselves plagued by magical chameleons who can turn themselves into the form of whichever human they bite. Tia and Tamara Mowry of <span style="font-style: italic;">Sister, Sister</span> star in this episode, playing both the girl and the chameleon.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: The fact that Nickelodeon actually needed twins for this episode says a lot about their special effects capabilities. Not even <span style="font-style: italic;">Full House</span> needed actual twins for the famous cousin Stavros episode.<br /><br />Speaking of <span style="font-style: italic;">Full House</span>, how many of you wondered if the producers had to settle for the Mowry twins when they probably really wanted Mary Kate and Ashley? Me too.<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-79624564989293307632011-03-21T08:00:00.002-04:002011-03-21T15:26:21.177-04:00Lessons I Learned from Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Part I<div style="text-align: justify;">It's another installment of Lessons Learned! This time, I tackle <span style="font-style: italic;">Are You Afraid of the Dark?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tale of the Nightly Neighbors</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6v2dgMtT0_6IFG9-ngPswLlYUcR0owA2LF8JtVsqFWRcPi3i5u-VoNhbc6z3W7QY-mWEACI0ksvm-82Uk37jwYXRIKLRqQUilbiTr6x0B5wy17Jf5nhCVtfxfuYpCTsP7xgmj35I-_qd8/s1600/tale+of+nightly.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6v2dgMtT0_6IFG9-ngPswLlYUcR0owA2LF8JtVsqFWRcPi3i5u-VoNhbc6z3W7QY-mWEACI0ksvm-82Uk37jwYXRIKLRqQUilbiTr6x0B5wy17Jf5nhCVtfxfuYpCTsP7xgmj35I-_qd8/s320/tale+of+nightly.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586373631493379442" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Emma and Dayday suspect their new neighbors (a married couple with a little boy) who are pale and never come out at night are vampires. When they see the couple out in the day time, they're reassured but in a mildly surprising twist it turns out that the little boy is their vampire master. As they tell the audience, who would suspect that a little boy is a vampire?<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Who indeed would suspect a child of vampirism? The <span style="font-style: italic;">Are You Afraid of the Dark?</span> writers were really banking on there being no Anne Rice fans in their audience.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tale of the Long Ago Locket</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpu3_7dOGSJG1XgmLgNcx7houVswHjBEqCWr1bD3urQushkCMCXMXIX53t9z3yUoNR7ILwDcd9bMFwlSzZHG8wc8ZPa-60xfNK8q60xvbbwMVjOpjuGLni8QHpkKOQQVpnKrdfbfrOpSa7/s1600/long+ago+locket.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpu3_7dOGSJG1XgmLgNcx7houVswHjBEqCWr1bD3urQushkCMCXMXIX53t9z3yUoNR7ILwDcd9bMFwlSzZHG8wc8ZPa-60xfNK8q60xvbbwMVjOpjuGLni8QHpkKOQQVpnKrdfbfrOpSa7/s320/long+ago+locket.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586372771476590786" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A boy (played by Will Friedle) with an unrequited crush on a classmate wanders into the forest back in time to the era of the Revolutionary War. There, he must help a soldier escape Redcoats and find the woman he loves.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Will Friedle did more to make the Revolutionary War cool than all of my American Girl doll paraphernalia. Yes, including Felicity's four poster bed that made my twin bed with dinosaur sheets look every bit as cool as Kirk Van Houten's racecar bed. I'm not too surprised about Will Friedle's skills, considering how cool he would make <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CSF9SdGhRE&feature=related">dorky daytime detective shows seem</a>. (Sorry, Kojak!)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tale of the Hatching</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2snjOoY6sEY6fY2ysN3z8mf6jKc39dHBwun9gXLLaSG-jtXj7UO6jvYdfJEF0rzZuznLuenq5w_TAByh-sKNV7dcgq7Ja9wXKTspFUkFBQiTQV_bGRTiDTka1MAAt6oiu2fRULQ2Po1MD/s1600/tale+of+hatching.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2snjOoY6sEY6fY2ysN3z8mf6jKc39dHBwun9gXLLaSG-jtXj7UO6jvYdfJEF0rzZuznLuenq5w_TAByh-sKNV7dcgq7Ja9wXKTspFUkFBQiTQV_bGRTiDTka1MAAt6oiu2fRULQ2Po1MD/s320/tale+of+hatching.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586373628502674562" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A brother and sister go to an odd boarding school where hypnotized students get up each night to take care of mutant reptile eggs which will later hatch and take over the world.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: The writers for <span style="font-style: italic;">Are You Afraid of the Dark?</span> were a creative bunch. So what if most of them would never get their short stories published in the <span style="font-style: italic;">New Yorker</span>, or even <span style="font-style: italic;">Playdude</span>--at least one of them has the makings of an L. Ron Hubbard-esque religion.<br /><br />Also, you can tell this episode took place in the early 90s because menial labor was farmed out to underage boarding school students, not Goobacks.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tale of Old Man Corcoran</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVYXdpfqBYywiQpPXTOC2Y9KM_z5EE4uSULEcS1UdBm1hmKh18t5At2rX2BEUmQ9lqOyZB-NUmu7kpKH1HE8-65zZjaNgGyhUGoQMIUUawCpXbN8afmRziGl5zwvi6QnlexiexmB4HJ7NZ/s1600/tale+of+old+man.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 236px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVYXdpfqBYywiQpPXTOC2Y9KM_z5EE4uSULEcS1UdBm1hmKh18t5At2rX2BEUmQ9lqOyZB-NUmu7kpKH1HE8-65zZjaNgGyhUGoQMIUUawCpXbN8afmRziGl5zwvi6QnlexiexmB4HJ7NZ/s320/tale+of+old+man.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586373638014351842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Two African American boys move out of the hood with their mom to a new life in the suburbs. There, the boys find a group of kids who love playing hide and go seek in the graveyard. They tell the boys about the ghost of a gravedigger called Old Man Corcoran but in a twist, it turns out that Old Man Corcoran is alive and the kids are all ghosts.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Remember all the respect we suddenly earned for Carlton after the time he spent in Compton on a bet from Will? That's nothing compared to the mad props I gotta give these kids.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tale of the Full Moon</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5m-zm_fhKq4-W3x4_790qxBwNFDXTSs6rVDlOBOOhdYxPjBK_2KYz2-al9Df6QiFsfzO6HeLZv0oR5ZXfmCx_O-5IRdsrql-dAULBWtI_9R0M4w6bjesEkD0pSik3exDPDXQ9bUDT82BO/s1600/midnight+mad.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5m-zm_fhKq4-W3x4_790qxBwNFDXTSs6rVDlOBOOhdYxPjBK_2KYz2-al9Df6QiFsfzO6HeLZv0oR5ZXfmCx_O-5IRdsrql-dAULBWtI_9R0M4w6bjesEkD0pSik3exDPDXQ9bUDT82BO/s320/midnight+mad.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586372777749823314" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A boy who desperately wants a dog notices a spate of missing cats in the neighborhood and suspects his neighbor of being a werewolf. When his lonely single mother starts dating her, he's even more worried. As it turns out, the neighbor's identical twin brother is the werewolf. (Or to put this in modern terms, it's <span style="font-style: italic;">The Patty Duke Show</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">With Werewolves</span>.) When the boy's mother marries into the family, his desire for a pet dog is finally solved.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: There are a lot of Nickelodeon fans out there in the larger TV and movie world. For example, I'm guessing whoever came up with the final scene of <span style="font-style: italic;">Shaun of the Dead</span> was a closet SNICK fan. (So was the writer who thought that the kids on <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wire</span> should congregate around an orange couch in the middle of the projects.)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tale of the Thirteenth Floor</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXIvgRjbrSmzviq3hEROK-N19q3WlokqFwE_3gvTzhyphenhyphenuBdM0GPubGGCQOr6gnwWAfx7AQvwQrtsL3nqgP3fdHTmC7PKoifdAceoEssfa523TDkW2LuNijEgHTWBq3KR48r2gx7fK1_Fb35/s1600/tale+of+thirteenth.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 277px; height: 207px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXIvgRjbrSmzviq3hEROK-N19q3WlokqFwE_3gvTzhyphenhyphenuBdM0GPubGGCQOr6gnwWAfx7AQvwQrtsL3nqgP3fdHTmC7PKoifdAceoEssfa523TDkW2LuNijEgHTWBq3KR48r2gx7fK1_Fb35/s320/tale+of+thirteenth.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586374272584583202" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A brother and sister go to the thirteenth floor of their building to play hockey but discover what appears to be a toy factory...run by aliens. Though they escape the aliens, they later realize that the girl is in fact an alien too and that these were her rightful parents coming to rescue her.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Between this and that horror movie <span style="font-style: italic;">Orphan</span>, I'm going to play it safe and satiate my maternal instincts by adopting a highway instead.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tale of the Final Wish</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQKqFrh1Cb7ixivKmTEEYilA_iiyvVMeLXoCwddhhmJs2hy2l83LsvoRPmuC-Wfwm_ZOOydMUvqx-4owWr49K0EeF-SwCAR3eh8w5m1shIp79cW9miS5BY-bMfCU1U8y9UWJJixI7clWrR/s1600/tale+of+final+wish.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 233px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQKqFrh1Cb7ixivKmTEEYilA_iiyvVMeLXoCwddhhmJs2hy2l83LsvoRPmuC-Wfwm_ZOOydMUvqx-4owWr49K0EeF-SwCAR3eh8w5m1shIp79cW9miS5BY-bMfCU1U8y9UWJJixI7clWrR/s320/tale+of+final+wish.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586373628541008610" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A socially awkward girl who still loves fairy tales and dolls gets taken to a bizarre fairy tale world by a strange man called The Sandman, played by Bobcat Goldthwait.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: You've forgotten all about comedian Bobcat Goldthwait and his awful but memorable voice, haven't you? But just think: if he hadn't slept in on the day of his audition for <span style="font-style: italic;">Aladdin's</span> Iago, he could be this decade's Gilbert Gottfried.<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-87239207277943833732011-03-14T10:30:00.001-04:002011-03-14T12:26:26.210-04:00Hipsters vs. Guidos, Round 1<div style="text-align: justify;">Hipsters. Guidos. We know them and fear them both. Who's worse? I did extensive field research (watched <span style="font-style: italic;">Jersey Shore</span> and read <span style="font-style: italic;">Stuff Hipsters Hate</span>). This is the first in a series of blog posts devoted to the struggle between hipster and guido. Who will win round one?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ethics</span><br /><br />Point to the guidos. I know what you're thinking. Guidos and ethics--aren't they strange bedfellows? But guidos know more about ethics than you'd think. Every time someone commits a faux pas on <span style="font-style: italic;">The Jersey Shore</span>, the guidos start up a chorus of, "Busted big-time!" like well-trained toddlers admonishing Steve on <span style="font-style: italic;">Blues Clues</span> for the nth time. The sense of morals is strong in these ones. Plus, poor hipsters: Alexander Payne's <span style="font-style: italic;">Election</span> failed to finish defining morals and ethics terms for them.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Toilet Habits</span><br /><br />Per Stuff Hipsters Hate, <a href="http://stuffhipstershate.tumblr.com/post/472461739/girls-who-go-into-the-bathroom-together-what-the">girls who go into the bathroom are baaaaad</a>. Using the logic I picked up from <span style="font-style: italic;">Animal Farm</span> Sparknotes, I'm going to assume that quick, efficient bathroom use is good. Hipsters win this round because the guidos on <span style="font-style: italic;">Jersey Shore</span> clogged three bathrooms but still lack the ability to get their pipes fixed. (This, despite the fact that five out of six of them are either relatives, acquaintances, or Facebook friends with Mario Mario.)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Telephone Habits</span><br /><br />It all comes down to iPhone vs. duck. Since the only thing I hate more than the duck phone is the Juno hamburger phone, point goes to the hipsters.<br /><br />And so hipsters win this round. Stay tuned for the next time I pit hipsters against guidos!<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-47768821028738104602011-03-07T08:22:00.004-05:002011-03-07T17:53:51.531-05:00Movies in a Minute: The Black SwanCheck out my Black Swan post. And also check out my <a href="http://bit.ly/eZsfOS">guest post on the Secret Society of List Addicts</a>--it's on anthropomorphic snacks!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCzdwqqNzufPx31ggFJspOJWDBzgR70Ndcf0Me9svST7PyD1cqxlUjQ4lIpG4melapQSv7imHryUiRMb9-dthi0kw8Sc7VWNqTjhPqQFiaMyOEh-67QYOtLAUXRAAncFh2k7xTeg8Wtkj/s1600/black+swan+movie+poster.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 199px; height: 302px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCzdwqqNzufPx31ggFJspOJWDBzgR70Ndcf0Me9svST7PyD1cqxlUjQ4lIpG4melapQSv7imHryUiRMb9-dthi0kw8Sc7VWNqTjhPqQFiaMyOEh-67QYOtLAUXRAAncFh2k7xTeg8Wtkj/s320/black+swan+movie+poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581108812612474738" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Mrs. Sayers: "Time now for your grapefruit, Nina."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-OY_3IiND1pOuREXwTkgVwM63otCXKM10GrlDQFjrsHvjotLf6uD4pZYiI-nL4hoj9ZAZoDH7cvjxDS6AexUtSZ2r1Og52hqTJeBjjyen893HO1nFYC4naRLEcMxn8Ug1CYlMGnEM6_aH/s1600/stretch.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 175px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-OY_3IiND1pOuREXwTkgVwM63otCXKM10GrlDQFjrsHvjotLf6uD4pZYiI-nL4hoj9ZAZoDH7cvjxDS6AexUtSZ2r1Og52hqTJeBjjyen893HO1nFYC4naRLEcMxn8Ug1CYlMGnEM6_aH/s320/stretch.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578280355289675842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Nina: "No! Time now for dancing!"<br /><br />Middle America: "Wow, Natalie Portman's got such devotion to her art. Look how thin she is."<br /><br />Jezebel.com: "Way. Too. Thin. Patriarchy at its worst."<br /><br />Maris Crane: *shudder* "The flab..."<br /><br />Thomas Leroy: "So! Which of you will dance the lead in <span style="font-style: italic;">Swan Lake</span> now that my beautiful little princess, Beth, is over the hill?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNy-7-TlYzF6CYmSUFjj3QC366cFwg0ZDXu-xER8ag_ZWttkTfVD77bQ3z9bY2ySKWUY5vH3QuQbGVMfVyn7aBvuTKJvOu6gD9Lj1OyyScwdsk_8WydyhuNcBpmTmX2HwAdaaGTS97AcUk/s1600/nina+warm+up.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNy-7-TlYzF6CYmSUFjj3QC366cFwg0ZDXu-xER8ag_ZWttkTfVD77bQ3z9bY2ySKWUY5vH3QuQbGVMfVyn7aBvuTKJvOu6gD9Lj1OyyScwdsk_8WydyhuNcBpmTmX2HwAdaaGTS97AcUk/s320/nina+warm+up.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578279804056302434" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Nina: "God I hope I get it..."<br /><br />Thomas: "You, Nina. I grow weary of Winona Ryder. <span style="font-style: italic;">Beetlejuice</span> was great and all but <span style="font-style: italic;">Autumn in New York</span>? And <span style="font-style: italic;">Mr. Deeds</span>--what was that about? No, you shall be my new little princess!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Q-RbxcbZEHXmR7EqHx9HgnwHZNYduIDg44LgCZ-s1JRByby8b0g02cGHUSwNb6F2G-lxmtyoXRJ18oXszOOeV3b-39afkyilUa4M4bn2iCm0At9n3pSeFzsMERYDQ3zvTYI4RbP5UckQ/s1600/beth.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 285px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Q-RbxcbZEHXmR7EqHx9HgnwHZNYduIDg44LgCZ-s1JRByby8b0g02cGHUSwNb6F2G-lxmtyoXRJ18oXszOOeV3b-39afkyilUa4M4bn2iCm0At9n3pSeFzsMERYDQ3zvTYI4RbP5UckQ/s320/beth.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578531710763406098" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Beth: "Great. First cast off by Tim Burton and now a George Balanchine knock off."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDMoVsn4Td-mhYItsLvtv-SuU0fo6eJHswBqSBihzuMtAqvL-_RMz-PeibyqhQVlftVgOQ2__TMilJVvu-QkDPaPInaZ5cDUSR5TDS4BM5jtljZudtiJeZLYDvUJftFAEAUKQuRuK-PZyB/s1600/cake.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDMoVsn4Td-mhYItsLvtv-SuU0fo6eJHswBqSBihzuMtAqvL-_RMz-PeibyqhQVlftVgOQ2__TMilJVvu-QkDPaPInaZ5cDUSR5TDS4BM5jtljZudtiJeZLYDvUJftFAEAUKQuRuK-PZyB/s320/cake.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578279441958411282" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Mrs. Sayers: "Congratulations, honey! I got you something!"<br /><br />Nina: "Gee, Mom, I just purged myself down to eighty pounds. I don't know that a Cake Wrecks knock off is my idea of a celebration."<br /><br />Mrs. Sayers: "OK, fine! In the trashcan it goes, ungrateful child! You know Christian Bale's mom visited <span style="font-style: italic;">him</span> on the set of <span style="font-style: italic;">The </span><span style="font-style: italic;">Fighter</span> to bring him cake and after verbally abusing her for ten solid minutes, <span style="font-style: italic;">he</span> ate <span style="font-style: italic;">his</span> cake."<br /><br />Nina: "Sorry, Mom. Mmm, finger licking good."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZUgGPyZfmFNCqzw6xosqDRKayj0xSGJge2cjgJWO7PyFUs08dJaEw5-nzAFRS8CTiuo0ZUix8qyYtfPPyv06QZjyQ0fZ08sNjopY7M7bM_o8EQhAyqIBQewB-m_l3mN_pxx1WQT9RMETY/s1600/thomas+and+nina+seduce.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZUgGPyZfmFNCqzw6xosqDRKayj0xSGJge2cjgJWO7PyFUs08dJaEw5-nzAFRS8CTiuo0ZUix8qyYtfPPyv06QZjyQ0fZ08sNjopY7M7bM_o8EQhAyqIBQewB-m_l3mN_pxx1WQT9RMETY/s320/thomas+and+nina+seduce.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578280358065889842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Thomas: "Your white swan is good, Nina. But your black swan lacks that <span style="font-style: italic;">je ne sais quoi</span>. Come. Let me seduce you into giving a good performance."<br /><br />Nina: "GAH! TOO MUCH PRESSURE."<br /><br />Thomas: "That was me seducing you when it should have been the other way round!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekaYo2M3gyp0Fm35rqxq980T4-8FUtR6Qsx2auXfkRb2I4wA7UUMLYAtVvGRzZ_0ArIkH99defjHMJR8B6ntmf0OzDyu4AhmqdLLE0W7wUwjB_PZGzGKiXPkEGfTwnsQhoTTt959nd-YN/s1600/witches+eastwick+jane.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 216px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekaYo2M3gyp0Fm35rqxq980T4-8FUtR6Qsx2auXfkRb2I4wA7UUMLYAtVvGRzZ_0ArIkH99defjHMJR8B6ntmf0OzDyu4AhmqdLLE0W7wUwjB_PZGzGKiXPkEGfTwnsQhoTTt959nd-YN/s320/witches+eastwick+jane.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578531571267454530" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Jane Spofford: "You know, when I was in your position, it took me one cello solo to get my groove back."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNYznWQF-IyNwnF47pXacjJhDpPfqjLoyQwbYrMXtespBoYrKE82uO2aoUFPYjvoHxk8tubZhJ3qJ2n2x3Eqv-hJVtRp2MJEMcPImHaAFHRJSBD1X4v9ntSy5oH1obM0PmSTwpuzrMXANY/s1600/lily+dance.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNYznWQF-IyNwnF47pXacjJhDpPfqjLoyQwbYrMXtespBoYrKE82uO2aoUFPYjvoHxk8tubZhJ3qJ2n2x3Eqv-hJVtRp2MJEMcPImHaAFHRJSBD1X4v9ntSy5oH1obM0PmSTwpuzrMXANY/s320/lily+dance.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578279794632497762" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lily: *giggle* "Oops, I messed up, but that's OK! I'm going to laugh it off like the free spirit I am."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhto6CNjmxi3OVU2il3ZJjxEG0-WipBY98A6r-gyvK_pSFst2INZvKbTAuFk6uxJaeB09j5EtDr2rg0JmDSH1lVG3X03UQKIrLCBAmkOawzhBdC8CGtCCr0Ya2UNUZLvnQzOtNv2cSK2NAe/s1600/thomas+and+nina+look.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 142px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhto6CNjmxi3OVU2il3ZJjxEG0-WipBY98A6r-gyvK_pSFst2INZvKbTAuFk6uxJaeB09j5EtDr2rg0JmDSH1lVG3X03UQKIrLCBAmkOawzhBdC8CGtCCr0Ya2UNUZLvnQzOtNv2cSK2NAe/s320/thomas+and+nina+look.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578280356702931186" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Thomas: "Look at Lily, Nina. She has Black Swan written all over her. Literally. Did you see the tattoo? Doesn't she evoke freedom, passion, sexuality? Can't you just hear a refrain from Bizet's <span style="font-style: italic;">Carmen</span> playing whenever she walks by?"<br /><br />Nina: "Note to self: visit a tattoo parlor and invest in Forever 21's underwear as outwear collection."<br /><br />Lily: "Hey, I'm sorry I told Thomas you complained. I didn't mean to go all <span style="font-style: italic;">Single White Female</span> on you. Want to go out for dinner?"<br /><br />Nina: "Okay..."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCz03P16tt4GaIJiiBZQWV_HBE07o3d0_1ovGY-KMEboGKBExAmIqgEVRzPgwPBB_Flqu7HpMoMMmtXyP3er85OpTgudrgtuSd3uV8TnHk3SmfN7vOU94JlQ7Bmb5yEpR21EPJCjyl9KI9/s1600/dinner.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCz03P16tt4GaIJiiBZQWV_HBE07o3d0_1ovGY-KMEboGKBExAmIqgEVRzPgwPBB_Flqu7HpMoMMmtXyP3er85OpTgudrgtuSd3uV8TnHk3SmfN7vOU94JlQ7Bmb5yEpR21EPJCjyl9KI9/s320/dinner.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578279442327034818" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lily: "Waiter, I'll have a burger, rare, extra beef. And extra cheese. WOOF!"<br /><br />Nina: "I'll have seven and a half capers artfully arranged with a teaspoon of low fat dressing. Well, it's been nice but I should go home. My stuffed toys aren't going to tuck themselves in."<br /><br />Lily: "But I want to pick up boys and channel Lord Flashheart and make the club scenes in <span style="font-style: italic;">Party Monster</span> look tame."<br /><br />Nina: "So, my place or yours?"<br /><br />Mrs. Sayers: "You naughty girl! Where have you been?! I can see your dirty pillows! Well, I could if hadn't dieted your chest into oblivion but you know what I mean."<br /><br />Lily: "Sweet girl."<br /><br />Nina: "Lily, why'd you leave this morning without even offering to take me out to brunch at Monk's?"<br /><br />Lily: "Wait, you think we did it? You had some lezzie wet dream about me? Was I good?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpHyimIWVOORr1AyCXGwIWI9INSzTOzpm_yQJF4VDCRZEEV3mmnVMVytqlUc8YDpB2YzaI328mPnX2a-3dMTVBnJrpL9uUbIIz8h9LDvnkG4nr_-cOiP7OjKPNkWyaHZYfsC0UUNx0DnXH/s1600/fight+club.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpHyimIWVOORr1AyCXGwIWI9INSzTOzpm_yQJF4VDCRZEEV3mmnVMVytqlUc8YDpB2YzaI328mPnX2a-3dMTVBnJrpL9uUbIIz8h9LDvnkG4nr_-cOiP7OjKPNkWyaHZYfsC0UUNx0DnXH/s320/fight+club.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578279795985240578" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Jack's Sense of Mounting Indignation: "Lucky. I had a vaguely homoerotic relationship with a suave, liberated alter ego and all I got was a t-shirt and a third degree lye burn."<br /><br />Thomas: "So, yeah. I'm going to make Lily, the perfect seductive black swan, your alternate. You're not...threatened, are you?"<br /><br />Nina: "Beth! She's trying to take my part! I need your help. Oh, by the way, these are yours."<br /><br />Beth: "You STOLE from me?"<br /><br />Nina: "Oh, don't look so shocked."<br /><br />Beth: "I'm not perfect. I'm NOTHING."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFz7LtYRJ2Wzen1OggV7MhzthbDnqOXbCUN8eRG_vk9WWxUhBzfDsT7UxX8lYFIL4GfnKrUfZ37F_cvUOM7E6rZVWbi9h01ApkpGk1bFlPbDeE1OsunPFljQO1WbH6KabN5BJqMlvUSLkx/s1600/nina+scream.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFz7LtYRJ2Wzen1OggV7MhzthbDnqOXbCUN8eRG_vk9WWxUhBzfDsT7UxX8lYFIL4GfnKrUfZ37F_cvUOM7E6rZVWbi9h01ApkpGk1bFlPbDeE1OsunPFljQO1WbH6KabN5BJqMlvUSLkx/s320/nina+scream.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578279801561964114" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Nina: "GAH! Hallucinations! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"<br /><br />Mrs. Sayers: "Nina! What happened to my sweet girl?"<br /><br />Sadako: "Haven't you read enough <span style="font-style: italic;">Reviving Ophelia</span> spin offs to figure it out?"<br /><br />Nina: "She's GONE! And now I'm off to dance! Okay, here goes."<br /><br />Thomas: "Nina, how could you fall over?!"<br /><br />Darren Aronofsky: "It's okay. It'll be that much more awesome when she succeeds. That's how the ballet world works. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I saw <span style="font-style: italic;">Flashdance</span> like eight times."<br /><br />Lily: "Nina, you totally can't do this. Let me dance the role."<br /><br />Nina: "NO!" *stab* "Now to hide the body, dance the role I was mean to dance, and outsex a French lech."<br /><br />Audience: "Ahh."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEhCOKJV4APWyyjtWXb-epSzZqXhqvN5HXZDewKC1zhhFRrgp0BwAuxChNhMYgtTFocMNw6udWLgQGRVQtrku6rZ-yqU7lwGy882nZQSVhvKnTFdFi5bNyWWKNBW_L51Phxvv-916ZIPs/s1600/black+swan.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 261px; height: 171px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEhCOKJV4APWyyjtWXb-epSzZqXhqvN5HXZDewKC1zhhFRrgp0BwAuxChNhMYgtTFocMNw6udWLgQGRVQtrku6rZ-yqU7lwGy882nZQSVhvKnTFdFi5bNyWWKNBW_L51Phxvv-916ZIPs/s320/black+swan.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578279442014520770" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Nina: "I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I've unleashed my inner beast and now I can dance the black swan!"<br /><br />Sadako: "All with a little help from tinted contact lenses and crazed eye make up."<br /><br />Lily: "Hi Nina, you were great. Well, bye!"<br /><br />Nina: "...crap."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyXMbxPvY6MMsUxaYhXYWsb4Fku6cvQPqCYkqIaWC3vcrPLECErh8syimpvV9yE5zt0BCWncZg9zXgQnXYox4i47VEM7pJRQxKfWvj57T_l3rGtAWdIyFUnksHDJ294xbFgW8zpYHyhA4l/s1600/wrestler.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyXMbxPvY6MMsUxaYhXYWsb4Fku6cvQPqCYkqIaWC3vcrPLECErh8syimpvV9yE5zt0BCWncZg9zXgQnXYox4i47VEM7pJRQxKfWvj57T_l3rGtAWdIyFUnksHDJ294xbFgW8zpYHyhA4l/s320/wrestler.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578531576634195010" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Randy "The Ram": "Eh. It's been done."<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-39621906207506803622011-02-28T10:30:00.001-05:002011-02-28T12:23:02.995-05:00The Making of the Black Swan<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg27RjE7fk_owLMUm6CTd2rgh4rtxIQysarSGO6PnZPLNAU_wrFTA1zqTFU7ukwkKfTLhd6mOF4hJlIpPgHb7dM6fO6qDYu-mz75OdmWf4PPKM5MZdG8ziEUdLUM6WmivLXQNQZmO4aguE2/s1600/poster.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg27RjE7fk_owLMUm6CTd2rgh4rtxIQysarSGO6PnZPLNAU_wrFTA1zqTFU7ukwkKfTLhd6mOF4hJlIpPgHb7dM6fO6qDYu-mz75OdmWf4PPKM5MZdG8ziEUdLUM6WmivLXQNQZmO4aguE2/s320/poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578768681583140210" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Sometimes I wonder how my favorite movies get made. I decided to let my imagination go wild after I saw <span style="font-style: italic;">The Black Swan</span> this month as I pictured director Darren Aronofsky pitching his movie before the big suits.<br /><br />Also, congratulate me. This marks post #200 for me. Have a slice of scary ass ballet cake in my honor on your way out. (I hear Natalie Portman is celebrating some <span style="font-style: italic;">Black Swan</span> related news herself, so have some grapefruit on her behalf if you like.)<br /><br />Finally, if you enjoyed this, stay tuned next week for Movies in a Minute: The Black Swan.<br /><br />Studio Execs: "Have a seat, Darren. So, tell us about <span style="font-style: italic;">The Black Swan</span>.<br /><br />Darren Aronofsky: "It's about a ballet dancer, Nina. She lives in a sad, pathetic uptown apartment with only her crazed mom and her food issues."<br /><br />Execs: "That went over well in <span style="font-style: italic;">Precious</span>. Let's replace the pig knuckles with ballerina cake. What else you got?"<br /><br />Darren: "Well, dance and the ballet world are apparently even more competitive than the intense world of pro-wrestling. Nothing like my brief exposure to <span style="font-style: italic;">Angelina Ballerina</span> led me to believe."<br /><br />Execs: "Interesting."<br /><br />Darren: "I was thinking that Nina could use her passion for dance to unleash her sexuality. Through dancing this intense role, she'll go from being meek and sweet to an erotic being. I don't think that anyone's approached it from that angle."<br /><br />Frances "Baby" Houseman: "I'll go sit back in my corner now."<br /><br />Fran, <span style="font-style: italic;">Strictly Ballroom</span>: "I'll join you."<br /><br />Gypsy Rose Lee: "Save me a pole."<br /><br />Execs: "How are you going to signify that Nina has transformed from child to a sexualized woman?"<br /><br />Darren: "I was thinking we could have her throw her stuffed toys down the garbage chute."<br /><br />Execs: "Worked for Tim Burton's version of Selena Kyle!"<br /><br />Corduroy: "You guys know this is the kind of thing that kept me obsessively sleepwalking to the attic for spare buttons for like months after I got adopted, right? This is my nightmare fuel."<br /><br />Execs: "But it still needs a little something extra."<br /><br />Darren: "Some really disgusting bloody scenes straight out of the Grossology that show the artist pushing her body to the limit? In case you'd like to get an idea of what I'm capable of, I brought the unedited versions of <span style="font-style: italic;">Requiem for a Dream </span>and <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wrestler</span>, some preliminary sketches, and my scab collection."<br /><br />Execs: "Well, we were thinking along the lines of Oscar-bait."<br /><br />Darren: "How about a movie that messes with the audience by including scenes that might be imaginary?"<br /><br />Execs: "OK. But can you make it...sexy?"<br /><br />Darren: "How about the hallucinatory scenes culminate in a lesbian scene, featuring a brunette actress low on ability but heavy on sensuality. Preferably one who's dating a former child star--it shows willingness to hit the casting couch. Megan Fox, or failing that, Mila Kunis."<br /><br />Execs: "Sounds like <span style="font-style: italic;">Jennifer's Body</span> meets <span style="font-style: italic;">Repulsion</span>. It's a hit! Any ideas about the music? Something classy, no doubt."<br /><br />Darren: "The score to <span style="font-style: italic;">Swan Lake</span>?"<br /><br />Execs: "Since it's either that or the only other classical score anyone on board knows about--the <span style="font-style: italic;">1812 Overture</span>--we'll go with it. What about the ending?"<br /><br />Darren: "She stabs herself and then carries on with her art. The camera will go to black at the end, implying her death."<br /><br />Execs: "I don't know. Didn't you just do that in<span style="font-style: italic;"> The Wrestler</span>?"<br /><br />Darren: "Okay, how about the camera fades to white instead, implying her death?"<br /><br />Execs: "Love it!"<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-50553687373148889062011-02-21T10:30:00.003-05:002011-02-21T13:22:35.539-05:00Pop Culture Musings: Reality Stars II<div style="text-align: justify;"><span>Last summer, I <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CBMQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdibblyfresh1.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F06%2Fpop-culture-musings-reality-tv-stars.html&ei=AIliTdeSCcL88AbKz8zjCw&usg=AFQjCNEPB1sWN1QmWhGX9gzH8mSU_Ph1fw&sig2=nyT35onGx8NDIxRczkyyAg">blogged about reality TV stars</a>. Since the blight of reality TV stars hasn't gone away, I decided to do a follow up post.</span><br /><br />In other news: just one more post till my 200th blog post!<br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />The Situation</span><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxDR_a76qHTkI2BJqcR00DV9OavgCEPFvZPMVFIJGzcU-kAmBfmVFvrRFpbwrrM4BkZHt5oFzWVmu0BGTzmRox0g5bvSb5wozQ-TdfgpeIwG2VtFLY_B0CgdwSonGcU4na095WSVKHqMzL/s1600/situation.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxDR_a76qHTkI2BJqcR00DV9OavgCEPFvZPMVFIJGzcU-kAmBfmVFvrRFpbwrrM4BkZHt5oFzWVmu0BGTzmRox0g5bvSb5wozQ-TdfgpeIwG2VtFLY_B0CgdwSonGcU4na095WSVKHqMzL/s320/situation.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983346295701810" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Rumor has it Mike of<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Jersey Shore </span>has spent most of this season glued to the duck phone talking to his agent, trying to parlay his success into movie roles. For this reason, I must compare the Sitch to Shelley Long on <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cheers</span>. Remember when Shelley mistakenly thought that she was going on to bigger and better things by leaving her old drinking buddies behind? (Incidentally, who would have thought we'd find a group of people to make Norm, Cliffy, and Paul look positively cosmopolitan?)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtkcyM__dtvCzM4lm_sVSdF74kJj0JiWGflxx6A3KsXucCfgN-CoL61q18OK1bwW8NPXJegq3LANFn96bZmlQT-Kxfb9kyKryAyfOzzZksFPnJn5P36_TdUPbe6O0NyknMnPqheh0DlwYa/s1600/shelley+long.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtkcyM__dtvCzM4lm_sVSdF74kJj0JiWGflxx6A3KsXucCfgN-CoL61q18OK1bwW8NPXJegq3LANFn96bZmlQT-Kxfb9kyKryAyfOzzZksFPnJn5P36_TdUPbe6O0NyknMnPqheh0DlwYa/s320/shelley+long.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983344285460210" border="0" /></a><br /><br />A little part of me hopes the Situation leaves, just like Diane left <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cheers</span>. Not so much because I want to see the show fall apart, but because I think a remake of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Troop Beverly Hills</span> could use a six pack. Also, because I want to see which Scientologist has to step up to replace Sitch.<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAlD4Q3pe2L38wMvDw1ghyqYyg3skturUucvDHueen_7AqZGoVOLohTQOATfHARF1xlUnCsQ2T2ePEEtYX0iUOPUqVGVGxKqj4BKmvBNRz4PI6G8HhJWTg9N_MgyZAjVt1VSpd87jwHC38/s1600/real+housewives+bh.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 217px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAlD4Q3pe2L38wMvDw1ghyqYyg3skturUucvDHueen_7AqZGoVOLohTQOATfHARF1xlUnCsQ2T2ePEEtYX0iUOPUqVGVGxKqj4BKmvBNRz4PI6G8HhJWTg9N_MgyZAjVt1VSpd87jwHC38/s320/real+housewives+bh.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983048448178066" border="0" /></a><br /><br />What more is there to say about the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Real Housewives of Beverly Hills </span>that hasn't been said, blogged, and tweeted by Andy Cohen and his production team? My own impression is that these girls are a bit like a minstrel show version of the <span style="font-weight: bold;">First Wives' Club</span>.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfY39h3rGqhxkFxGXjxpXVwADKOiOkvJzyBnbQv2yggujH5nyXA3rUHejJVISy2BCGgu9Nrtgpmic_pFpIHqc-Hklch05b27Avf6WmCDDdOEssw8EstMrkkyZCnIuF9cZzvD2SIkRwBjiq/s1600/first+wives.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 272px; height: 284px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfY39h3rGqhxkFxGXjxpXVwADKOiOkvJzyBnbQv2yggujH5nyXA3rUHejJVISy2BCGgu9Nrtgpmic_pFpIHqc-Hklch05b27Avf6WmCDDdOEssw8EstMrkkyZCnIuF9cZzvD2SIkRwBjiq/s320/first+wives.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983033304700834" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Taylor has clearly learned from Goldie Hawn and blown up her lips well before her husband starts eyeing an Elizabeth Berkley doppelganger. Camille Grammer, on the other hand, takes "revenge" by doing the talk show circuit and making single entendres on her husband's choice of underwear. Meanwhile, Kelsey smiles and nods, pretending that she's really shown him while mentally congratulating himself on the fact that his current lover has reached the age of majority and then some.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tim Gunn</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsOoHDAgjng8zkc9hfX17kH1oE4h5HtRptTkG9PwdqNT9wBeS4DXuPorXGzBnfhl6VYG99vzeL8hfQwNIngI7y7h0-f7oB-p_VaajCUbkl3S69uFq476KMcj1_T8TZU84b3bKIf3usoUx_/s1600/tim+gunn.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 206px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsOoHDAgjng8zkc9hfX17kH1oE4h5HtRptTkG9PwdqNT9wBeS4DXuPorXGzBnfhl6VYG99vzeL8hfQwNIngI7y7h0-f7oB-p_VaajCUbkl3S69uFq476KMcj1_T8TZU84b3bKIf3usoUx_/s320/tim+gunn.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983990469609426" border="0" /></a><br /><br />As you can see from all the reality stars I've been blogging about, sense and decorum are severely lacking. And that's why we need the Gunn. Tim brings order to the chaos that is reality TV. That's why I think of him as the Sidney Poitier of reality television, telling off everyone from to the Salahis to Kenley Collins.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw4mBg9xRRxyUZV_pZwPEKHhEo5sBMjktLBlS4STrTaXE4uiL99OCm3OvY_bZG-kZ6ogynvFVIeOpPL1N7PcV4K_Jcpe1RS3STQtOg7FbxMfv2U3o1hJuUFNHJIUrJ27oIYD8kxShA3-TR/s1600/to+sir.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw4mBg9xRRxyUZV_pZwPEKHhEo5sBMjktLBlS4STrTaXE4uiL99OCm3OvY_bZG-kZ6ogynvFVIeOpPL1N7PcV4K_Jcpe1RS3STQtOg7FbxMfv2U3o1hJuUFNHJIUrJ27oIYD8kxShA3-TR/s320/to+sir.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983356201686818" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sometimes we need a well spoken Bo Brummel type to come in, sit us down, and tell us that yes, burning sanitary napkins is filthy. And no, you can't go to the White House sans invite.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Liz Lee</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ3GpAcb_rVw3byFKZ5BZdhJjfn3p1xYf764PnQE8SbaU1ASK-G9N7xwJMBHyC3qV_ZnsyxVJHNzFWIKwNeq86Qq8R0ePtri2sUM_XdGi2yTX-qYVq3oEYIvS_UZF7mDY_OjKeqRWySaOw/s1600/liz+lee.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 193px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ3GpAcb_rVw3byFKZ5BZdhJjfn3p1xYf764PnQE8SbaU1ASK-G9N7xwJMBHyC3qV_ZnsyxVJHNzFWIKwNeq86Qq8R0ePtri2sUM_XdGi2yTX-qYVq3oEYIvS_UZF7mDY_OjKeqRWySaOw/s320/liz+lee.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983047009055042" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Liz Lee is the star of the MTV show <span style="font-weight: bold;">My Life as Liz</span>, a semi scripted reality program. Liz is Quirky and has the dyed red hair and comic book collection to prove it. Whether she's diving into a dumpster for a found object project or burning photographs of her former teen queen best friend, Liz is nothing if not studiously left of center.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Hvq5QpZ9x-K_GHtS7VlzicR9slQhynYc_ceuAl2XKhmO43v-gG3LIp06uE1OCtKRhP_A52tg8OEj41VQwIyHRwPGgpEa9PGjfT_z402W7ibv7ib8iQMlA_2OBs5xs7alt4ec1sx12rjE/s1600/sam+garden+state.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Hvq5QpZ9x-K_GHtS7VlzicR9slQhynYc_ceuAl2XKhmO43v-gG3LIp06uE1OCtKRhP_A52tg8OEj41VQwIyHRwPGgpEa9PGjfT_z402W7ibv7ib8iQMlA_2OBs5xs7alt4ec1sx12rjE/s320/sam+garden+state.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983339980833138" border="0" /></a><br /><br />But you can tell that she's not really quite as bizarre as she tries to be. I get the feeling that Liz is more at home at the Gap than Urban Outfitter and that she carries around the Hipster Handbook hoping that her fellow Pratt Institute students don't find her out. Liz's diligence at trying as hard as possible to be awkward puts me in mind of Natalie Portman in <span style="font-style: italic;">Garden State</span>. Cute, perky overachiever trying her best to be as alternative as possible by spouting off random monosyllabic nonsensical words. (Doesn't it say something that the only way that Sam's shtick made sense was when the creators of <span style="font-style: italic;">Garden State</span> decided to make her brain damaged?)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Jersey Shore</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_NUizIpooCRSCRgBYWHR4GmzNFzADuZkPpkybLHvSShrJ-gWnIkBCC1LduZrYxS587n2dBRbf6uxCMqY-KNHvUThRhIom6swjRe3PD_A1gRO_Kv0ly4CfeXMnrciMzoDoRy6bX-c1A2i8/s1600/jersey+shore.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 143px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_NUizIpooCRSCRgBYWHR4GmzNFzADuZkPpkybLHvSShrJ-gWnIkBCC1LduZrYxS587n2dBRbf6uxCMqY-KNHvUThRhIom6swjRe3PD_A1gRO_Kv0ly4CfeXMnrciMzoDoRy6bX-c1A2i8/s320/jersey+shore.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5573983040050691634" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Yep, I've got more to say about them. Remember that episode of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Boy Meets World</span> when Cory, Shawn, and Topanga star in a dumbed down academic bowl, answering frivolous pop cultural questions, only to have Mr. Feeny heap scorn and derision on them? Of course you do. The <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jersey Shore</span> gang is like a less cute, less pop culturally savvy version of Lips, Hair, and Brainiac-14.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0mu4oYZDn6EGbyPCvlZH1YoZ6ulM0I73NOz-r43ufpe5mAX7ybp_1KEVxR8aqmKXo5uDvIrNPGENqJJr7-KD6PHm9pKnw_DxZ5M5IbMEqiTazDokrYcZkKhve4pHrB7Mg9UiD6d3BSVE/s1600/feeny+gutenberg.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0mu4oYZDn6EGbyPCvlZH1YoZ6ulM0I73NOz-r43ufpe5mAX7ybp_1KEVxR8aqmKXo5uDvIrNPGENqJJr7-KD6PHm9pKnw_DxZ5M5IbMEqiTazDokrYcZkKhve4pHrB7Mg9UiD6d3BSVE/s320/feeny+gutenberg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5519897618699276994" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I'm still waiting for Mr. Feeny to swoop in and scream at Mike, Pauly D, and Vinny for having over twenty different classifications of grenades and land mines but -- despite access to Google <span style="font-style: italic;">and </span>Wikipedia -- no idea who invented the printing press.<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-82888858363199444432011-02-14T10:00:00.000-05:002011-02-14T10:23:11.210-05:00Millionaire Matchmaker: Season 4 in a MinuteIn honor of Valentine's Day, I present a recap of season 4 of the Millionaire Matchmaker. Yes, that's the New York City edition.<br /><br /><br />Patti: "I'm a third generation matchmaker with a 90% success rate!"<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Destin: "New York is scary, Rachel. Do you think that our alternative act will impress the Manhattan hipster crowd?"<br /><br />Patti: "Let's meet the new intern. OHN-drea? Get your skinny but incompetent ass out here!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvAjs57e7QW2Hz9WB7lAdlsTPomS2ZIpsPwBuDyeUK8XMTZZLYU40BJieU6Uis9rRh6A7voozNtXjnrAvociC9hqdZ-Eq4w39jyK7meU9QxgCHeBc9cM2_5l0npdTlg4f2xvJN0GvrK3Vr/s1600/andrea+90210.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 275px; height: 205px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvAjs57e7QW2Hz9WB7lAdlsTPomS2ZIpsPwBuDyeUK8XMTZZLYU40BJieU6Uis9rRh6A7voozNtXjnrAvociC9hqdZ-Eq4w39jyK7meU9QxgCHeBc9cM2_5l0npdTlg4f2xvJN0GvrK3Vr/s320/andrea+90210.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569148850025741090" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Andrea: "Brandon, is that you?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhklg70GFdYCREZcLK3qjdOOvZFRsOqc0Ujg3n3BOe0G00mooKIMKFwkPzXCnOlys-Ctp3-rAjz89nV37nzt8qaXiKQNtLUTbkAPrVHtloQst10YYmNAtlgvqT-2i9m0yGp4Fk4b-H-HHu/s1600/andy+devil.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhklg70GFdYCREZcLK3qjdOOvZFRsOqc0Ujg3n3BOe0G00mooKIMKFwkPzXCnOlys-Ctp3-rAjz89nV37nzt8qaXiKQNtLUTbkAPrVHtloQst10YYmNAtlgvqT-2i9m0yGp4Fk4b-H-HHu/s320/andy+devil.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569148859692210018" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Andrea: "Miranda! You called me thin?!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3nLu9_8M6Y0r-ILLHZ1jZu8AP3rCrIDJ8U-ZKjtupv1dic3cc7bj-GvNy4JSlQYKnM-BtqNuE0J8pTgVqlvdBLWQY-TcraZdzaknlTs6itu_dSMOkevn94sZSI_O7Tdkm3ubOr7LygAYI/s1600/andrea.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 289px; height: 168px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3nLu9_8M6Y0r-ILLHZ1jZu8AP3rCrIDJ8U-ZKjtupv1dic3cc7bj-GvNy4JSlQYKnM-BtqNuE0J8pTgVqlvdBLWQY-TcraZdzaknlTs6itu_dSMOkevn94sZSI_O7Tdkm3ubOr7LygAYI/s320/andrea.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569148856959978130" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Andrea: "I think it's me."<br /><br />Patti: "This is Bryce Gruber. She's an uptight Charlotte York type who makes a living covering her vulva with sparkles on the LuxurySpot.com, and her hobbies include pursing her lips and eye rolling. Her turn ons are uncomfortably long silences and the Jewish version of George Clooney."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDV2RDUA5QhB-YphbtXdqbdmSTDopOYgLsNR0tiwWQmyCW_ZNp8NRiHSmoAZ1JemcjC2uiGgy4jvvPYpbBg0KIUsc6K5LPSj4cUHaH-qiH9nBbrB538wDirJAp07iglzErbBBkLX6FBIfq/s1600/bryce.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 176px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDV2RDUA5QhB-YphbtXdqbdmSTDopOYgLsNR0tiwWQmyCW_ZNp8NRiHSmoAZ1JemcjC2uiGgy4jvvPYpbBg0KIUsc6K5LPSj4cUHaH-qiH9nBbrB538wDirJAp07iglzErbBBkLX6FBIfq/s320/bryce.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569149119042215058" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Bryce: "Um..."<br /><br />Niles Crane: "She's perfect! Do you have her in WASP-white?"<br /><br />Patti: "Our other millionaire is guido Derek Tabacco. Hmm. What girls should I pick out for him? You. Can you like the Mets and name drop the terms <span style="font-style: italic;">moozadell </span>and <span style="font-style: italic;">cacciatore</span>?"<br /><br />Derek Tabacco: "So, Patti, I loved the girl you picked out for me, but she's too young to settle down. Do you got anyone who's got the face and body of a teenager, the nesting instinct of a thirty year old, the well-established career of a forty year old, and the inability to ever wrinkle?"<br /><br />Rod Serling: "No, but I might. Number Twelve looks like she'd be a great match for you!"<br /><br />Patti: "Stop picking with the penis!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0h5OwDjJCjC_y1RkL29W8xIuJBRfSAR7LbOn3MkXPF-zxzWKtGqWHkk3U4cE3FQlUzXVt9Dd49NyQilTTujgWs-t1IlIrQnI8ejemTRyHjiY4SmC_okbmAPzLGwhmN7sy-lM8JpnFsfDH/s1600/manzo.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0h5OwDjJCjC_y1RkL29W8xIuJBRfSAR7LbOn3MkXPF-zxzWKtGqWHkk3U4cE3FQlUzXVt9Dd49NyQilTTujgWs-t1IlIrQnI8ejemTRyHjiY4SmC_okbmAPzLGwhmN7sy-lM8JpnFsfDH/s320/manzo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569149126151141186" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Caroline Manzo: "Patti, my boys are having trouble finding love because every girl around them just wants them for their fame. Can you find them love?"<br /><br />Patti: "Destin, are you <span style="font-style: italic;">sure</span> the Situation won't do our show? What about the other Jersey Shore kids? I'll settle for the ugly one."<br /><br />Destin: "Which one's the ugly one? And no."<br /><br />Patti: "OK, Caroline, your boys are on. Guys, who do you like?"<br /><br />Christopher: "I like that one."<br /><br />Patti: "Stop it! Stop thinking with the cannoli! Now Albie, Chris, go plan your dates."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqE2q2cCVagvFcIZoYGg_RS6K2ipAh-LHsdpwOv_rMWFKpg-moLr44zcjUl20n4Cw8sswD3pfU4c-jc7TGTQaaSz2RXoEyKtUiEt9HioR-fdI3-yIQqGxgXz-C10Us84zVJsX7wQSTo4QV/s1600/chris+date.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqE2q2cCVagvFcIZoYGg_RS6K2ipAh-LHsdpwOv_rMWFKpg-moLr44zcjUl20n4Cw8sswD3pfU4c-jc7TGTQaaSz2RXoEyKtUiEt9HioR-fdI3-yIQqGxgXz-C10Us84zVJsX7wQSTo4QV/s320/chris+date.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569149120214908242" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Chris Manzo: "So, I'm planning the first date, and we're going to Medieval Times."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9KN29PK_97iGVlEm6eOW7WI36lexBohNkjFhE0ugm2ap82augJxXzq3pjWKh1FuG6GqjQefH1gqX4N8WYbG7ozKMHv7BlZ9SZbslUxGkpy0EYt7UTw_wC5_zcZf35kfYnwcKG_mr5x28K/s1600/adriana+chris.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9KN29PK_97iGVlEm6eOW7WI36lexBohNkjFhE0ugm2ap82augJxXzq3pjWKh1FuG6GqjQefH1gqX4N8WYbG7ozKMHv7BlZ9SZbslUxGkpy0EYt7UTw_wC5_zcZf35kfYnwcKG_mr5x28K/s320/adriana+chris.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569148846057628018" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Adriana LaCerva: "Aw. Drinks at the Bada Bing and dinner at Medieval Times was where Chrissy took <span style="font-style: italic;">me</span> on our first date!"<br /><br />Chris Manzo: "So, yeah. I work so many hours, you'll never actually see me, but my job isn't so prestigious you can brag about that to your friends."<br /><br />Patti Stanger: "I'm a third generation matchmaker with a 60% success rate."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTmkKNFmU6AEEtsHbYRRgDZ_VlmL2mO06XydUa4L7U4lmXWwlap0pnaYQTSNl1x0sfOHBuVWMGJo9KYWgfPriVLKkqrY8kbhTCEx5TOvp1j7exG9ZQFv4xD8BIVkwl88fHxltOZC1fkCXu/s1600/creepy+david.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTmkKNFmU6AEEtsHbYRRgDZ_VlmL2mO06XydUa4L7U4lmXWwlap0pnaYQTSNl1x0sfOHBuVWMGJo9KYWgfPriVLKkqrY8kbhTCEx5TOvp1j7exG9ZQFv4xD8BIVkwl88fHxltOZC1fkCXu/s320/creepy+david.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569149122327797506" border="0" /></a><br /><br />David: "Hi..."<br /><br />Patti: "So, can we set him up with the moon and be done with it?"<br /><br />Date: "So, um, what are we doing on our date?"<br /><br />Sadako: "Pissing off the pro life crowd <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> PETA with food more controversial than foie gras."<br /><br />David: "Have some balut. That's duck embryo, you know."<br /><br />Date: "No..."<br /><br />David: "Yes. And then put the lotion on your goddamned skin."<br /><br />Matt: "I'm a millionaire because my dad invented a cookie."<br /><br />Patti: "You're Otis Spunkmeyer, Jr.?"<br /><br />Matt: "No."<br /><br />Patti: "One of the Keebler kids?"<br /><br />Matt: "No..."<br /><br />Patti: "Lil Debbie? You've...changed."<br /><br />Matt: "My dad was Dr. Siegal and his cookie helps you lose weight. I want a young hottie who's also got his own money, too."<br /><br />Patti: "You think a ten with money is going to consider you?"<br /><br />Matt: "I'll browbeat him into submission. Watch. So, yeah. You're kind of juvenile. I was really attracted to the twenty five year old at the mixer. You seem like a nice friend. Want to hear about the fantasy I constructed where he played Ganymede to my Zeus."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPqtrlixrcOtKac6Z0W4SHqs8yjQQffv6O5C_fx9U8m0qUBBlMoWjD-5iQSB9b2D_pw-Botj3Y_Cy0CEs1GGb7JqSq-fRHr71_oPZptzJe3vh15PbhUEZSsaS5PzZK1J2XbdYenwESQOPb/s1600/matt+siegal.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 311px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPqtrlixrcOtKac6Z0W4SHqs8yjQQffv6O5C_fx9U8m0qUBBlMoWjD-5iQSB9b2D_pw-Botj3Y_Cy0CEs1GGb7JqSq-fRHr71_oPZptzJe3vh15PbhUEZSsaS5PzZK1J2XbdYenwESQOPb/s320/matt+siegal.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569149508387046722" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Matt: "That went better than usual."<br /><br />Patti: "This...is Robin. Robin has a pretty face after about three martinis, loves the color pink, and Hello Kitty. Her turn ons are TSA lawsuits and keeping Sanrio in business. Her hobbies are getting her dogs botoxed and inciting feminist parents to start class action lawsuits against the Disney Princess line."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjNFo2reBVnbrZcEOO5s75cuU5nxLHeAZctJ1Pg-I3YS3-wU5sfbix7F-uHyZEhBFKlUcnxX1zCycyioI0AhVwWp1T3Jr2AKm4XJVdcP0rjXykmueDImrCds5inRuCrZVXUHsgbi3lW-CA/s1600/robin.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 231px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjNFo2reBVnbrZcEOO5s75cuU5nxLHeAZctJ1Pg-I3YS3-wU5sfbix7F-uHyZEhBFKlUcnxX1zCycyioI0AhVwWp1T3Jr2AKm4XJVdcP0rjXykmueDImrCds5inRuCrZVXUHsgbi3lW-CA/s320/robin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569149513168301666" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Robin: "Oh, I want that one, please! Sexy plumber!"<br /><br />Luke: "So do you people prefer the term Grenade or Fat Bottomed Girl?"<br /><br />Robin: "I love you!"<br /><br />Patti: "I'm a third generation matchmaker. Call on me when opening the phone book to a random name and number is too much work."<br /><br />Stacey: "Patti, I've changed. Now, I'm going to plan the date. Eben, honey, we're going to a screening of how I made my very first lingerie shoot."<br /><br />Patti: "What is WRONG with you?! You don't self promote on a first date! That's fourth, <span style="font-style: italic;">maybe</span>. Showing a video of yourself? NOT COOL. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLUB."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJWu3eRwykb0ZnTE6g04HeRIGqcYTmJNjZNgx75TsimOQK6OlsxNhyphenhyphenOyR85yqTxfwkYsqp_5u5MKNGHJ2aX2fTBduWRrKSvhSHRUBnnc8j3RhtGOsz88ef8FQyypWIj7C8GbHxfYcW5vGu/s1600/max+goof.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 288px; height: 209px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJWu3eRwykb0ZnTE6g04HeRIGqcYTmJNjZNgx75TsimOQK6OlsxNhyphenhyphenOyR85yqTxfwkYsqp_5u5MKNGHJ2aX2fTBduWRrKSvhSHRUBnnc8j3RhtGOsz88ef8FQyypWIj7C8GbHxfYcW5vGu/s320/max+goof.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569149509570195506" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Max Goof: "Oops. Sorry, Roxanne."<br /><br />Patti: "Good bye, New York."<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-82350827410285548592011-02-10T10:30:00.000-05:002011-02-10T10:53:18.934-05:00Best 90210 Moments<div style="text-align: justify;">Looking over my blog posts, I realize that I haven't talked nearly enough about <span style="font-style: italic;">Beverly Hills</span>. Here are some of the all time best vintage <span style="font-style: italic;">90210 </span>moments:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Another Nerd Bites the Dust</span><br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7ONvJ35QVkk" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="300"></iframe><br /><br />When David Silver (currently known as Mr. Megan Fox) was deemed cool enough to hang with the Peach Pit gang, Aaron Spelling had to get rid of any remnants of David's former, uncool life (i.e., dorky best friend Scott Scanlon). So, in a story so tragic that gun control advocates will be itching to cite it in keynote speeches, Scott accidentally shoots himself in the head at his own birthday party. (For those of you who favored <span style="font-style: italic;">Saved by the Bell</span>, consider this to be slightly less sad than Slater's beloved lizard passing on.) Darren Star generously lets David spend half of the episode mourning his best friend before moving on to his trajectory of becoming the white M.C. Hammer.<br /><br />Scenes from that episode that ended up on the cutting room floor: One where a rotund, bearded, cap wearing liberal camps out with David outside Charlton Heston's pad with Scott Scanlon's school photo in hand.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Donna Martin Graduates</span><br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/iunYmHH0UNI" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe><br /><br />Before the prom, the school administration at West Beverly High makes a statement that any student seen intoxicated at the event will not be allowed to walk at graduation. Donna Martin gets drunk at the prom. The school, sticking to their guns in a manner that both Cesar Milan and Nanny Jo would approve of, tells Donna she won't be able to walk with her friends. Brandon and the rest stage a walk out protesting the enforcement of school rules.<br /><br />It's stuff like this that makes it easier to understand why our generation thinks that "Free Snooki!" is a meaningful rally cry.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">U4EA</span><br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4fgMMdFPn-U" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe><br /><br />Emily Valentine gives Brandon his first taste of illicit drugs. And Brandon gave the audience of the 90s a taste of what it's like to party at a rave. An unbuttoned shirt and a good natured lack of coordination are a must. A drug happy moll whose eyebrow color doesn't match her hair complete the look. I have to admit, I kind of liked Emily Valentine. Too bad Brandon was too clean cut (and ripped) to play the Sid Vicious to her especially clingy Nancy Spungen.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Meeting Mr. Pony</span><br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dVUwP4v909s" width="425" frameborder="0" height="349"></iframe><br /><br />After Brenda is robbed at gunpoint at Peach Pit, she starts feeling panicky, having flashbacks, and rivaling Tom Cruise in <span style="font-style: italic;">Born on the Fourth of July</span> in terms of showing that pretty people can deal with PTSD, too.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Roger Azarian</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2ygDTwSccZtsjHy2PezA5UtiYlhsEDtLa5rzdoiVj5BSJYvgSHNzdIzdr-4YA_FgIXDiQjMLHM1-XomVkD2YhoNFFpEyzfblCXWel0E1O3KK5A1Z2Q9x77CawyMr1i8OrMu7i5g4aJ4D/s1600/matthperry.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 316px; height: 208px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2ygDTwSccZtsjHy2PezA5UtiYlhsEDtLa5rzdoiVj5BSJYvgSHNzdIzdr-4YA_FgIXDiQjMLHM1-XomVkD2YhoNFFpEyzfblCXWel0E1O3KK5A1Z2Q9x77CawyMr1i8OrMu7i5g4aJ4D/s400/matthperry.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5568772087929066034" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Matthew Perry plays a tennis star named Roger Azarian who goes to West Beverly and has written a movie script about killing his father. When Brandon interviews Roger for the school paper, he discovers that he's got a terrible secret: he stole most of the details of his life from Lyle and Erik Menendez. And as Brandon showed us in episode six, plagiarism is no laughing matter, Mr. Azarian. Off to a rent controlled apartment in the West Village with ye!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Andrea's Secret</span><br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZNxTwgTy6hw" allowfullscreen="" width="425" frameborder="0" height="349"></iframe><br /><br />Andrea has been using her grandmother's address as her own so she can attend West Beverly. When she wins an award, a paper wants to do a story on her life--including her home and family life. Andrea and the gang struggle to make it work without revealing her secret.<br /><br />Now that a real life mother in Ohio is facing legal repercussions for using her father's address to send her kids to a better school, Andrea's story is timelier than ever. Of course, in Andrea's case she ended up pulling a Topanga and giving up Yale to attend the Beverly Hills campus of Fictional Sitcom University, so I'm not sure she really needed to go to West Beverly High so badly.<br /><br />You also have to appreciate the fact that Andrea's Jewish grandmother pulls a major guilt trip on her, invoking her own near miss with the gas chambers. Anyone else shocked that Andrea married out of the faith?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kelly Taylor and the Date Rape That Almost Was But Then Wasn't (and Then Almost Was Again)</span><br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/NzDpQCRZ8dQ" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe><br /><br />Sorry for the flippant tone, but this scene progresses a bit like, "He rapes me. He rapes me not. He rapes me..." Anyway, the gang attends a Halloween party. Kelly goes as a sexy witch and is almost raped, but gets rescued by Brenda and Donna just in time.<br /><br />Brenda proves why she was voted Bitchiest 90210 Denizen three years running by taking the opportunity to point out that Kelly had been dressing and acting a little too sexy and what did she <span style="font-style: italic;">think</span> was going to happen? (If Regina George were here, I'm sure she'd point out that Kelly forgot the requisite animal ears to go with her costume--hence, the slut shaming.)<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-35466792462953141402011-02-07T09:00:00.004-05:002011-02-07T21:14:00.810-05:00Things I Wish I Could Tell My 16 Year Old Self, Part II<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://s3prod.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/images/4902945/tumblr_lbbrbd0JMZ1qaci68o1_500_large.png?1289507705"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 318px; height: 238px;" src="http://s3prod.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/images/4902945/tumblr_lbbrbd0JMZ1qaci68o1_500_large.png?1289507705" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />(Thanks to <a href="http://weheartit.com/entry/4902945">Jasmine at We Heart It</a>.)<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Because my last installment of things I wished I could tell my 16 year old self was so popular, here are some more points of edification for young Sadako.<br /><br />And please check out my <a href="http://bit.ly/gaexRN">guest post on the Secret Society of List Addicts</a>. It's on movie quotes that should become memes.<br /></div><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>When your best friend finishes up her tiger painting and asks you to help her dye streaks into it, put the dye down, back away from her preppy boyfriend, and ride off into the distance with her hot raspy voiced musician brother, <span style="font-style: italic;">El Cid</span> style.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>To the part of my 16 year old self that wants to jump on the famous for being famous bandwagon, stop spending so much time crashing at Judge Ito's place and make an effort to get out to Robert Kardashian's compound.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>Stop making jokes about how someone's in dire need of "puberty in a can" when you see Joseph Gordon-Levitt on <span style="font-style: italic;">Third Rock</span>. Time will be kind to Mr. Gordon-Levitt. (You can continue making said jokes any time French Stewart appears, however.)</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>Don't throw away that too small tan belt--it'll come in handy years from now when you want to impress your friends with your Nick toons knowledge by going to a Halloween party as Quail Girl.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>Yes, the WB thinks that just about anything teen related can be exploited. Feel free to mock it mercilessly for thinking even Jack and Bobby Kennedy's lives can be made <span style="font-style: italic;">Dawson's Creek</span>-esque. But hold off on your mockery of <span style="font-style: italic;">Smallville</span> because snarking on superheroes is going to go out of fashion very soon.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>Go back and rewatch <span style="font-style: italic;">Trading Places</span>. Find a way to make Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd's selling short scheme work when you hear about the opportunity to invest in a Broadway musical to which both Julie Taymor and Bono will be attached.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>When creating your burn book, don't leave it lying around unprotected. Make sure to take a note from your very first diary (I'm talking of course about the Talkback Dear Diary). Nothing says <span style="font-style: italic;">put down the burn book and walk away with zero knowledge of Trang Pak's fugliness</span> like a pre-recorded "HANDS OFF, CREEP" message.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>Career advice: in the long run working as a nanny trumps working for Goldman Sachs.<br /></li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>Once again, if that creepy caller phones you late at night, MOTHER VOORHES was the killer in <span style="font-style: italic;">Friday the 13th</span>. Of course, you can avoid that little conundrum by telling the guy your favorite scary movie is <span style="font-style: italic;">The Ewok Adventure</span>...</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>Don't spend so much time trying to play down looking awkward. Glasses, a bowl cut, and questionable posture just might take your blog to the next level.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: justify;"><li>"Sorry I'm not home right now, I'm walking into spiderwebs" isn't as witty a voicemail message as you think it is. No, not even if you invest in the above mentioned Julie Taymor musical. Go with, "Believe it or not, Sadako isn't at home" if you must adopt a cute message.<br /></li></ul>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-73875750022977900642011-01-31T10:00:00.003-05:002011-01-31T20:33:40.912-05:00Movies in a Minute: Bowling for Columbine<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_L5Uy_sW24bzFHuYPHYFfp9TtujiQyh5k9tzOSBlNXpPnDFW9PSqcObsRdyi-ha3guSI2D6BxIHdGVpFGpL11WHjVZmk3pGEUx_iYxxFk1K7FEu0iy7YSW5MqdEIT_PAkElmGTatOMDE/s1600/cover.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 312px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_L5Uy_sW24bzFHuYPHYFfp9TtujiQyh5k9tzOSBlNXpPnDFW9PSqcObsRdyi-ha3guSI2D6BxIHdGVpFGpL11WHjVZmk3pGEUx_iYxxFk1K7FEu0iy7YSW5MqdEIT_PAkElmGTatOMDE/s320/cover.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567765028924242658" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Michael Moore: "Columbine proved we Americans sure do have a problem with guns. Look! You can get a gun in a bank."<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ZH5I33LU1LJTYh7elQyZ0rWtvb3oc17u3p1QFlb2AA4rfUbcRCIOYwX-5o4g-geollLKo406Nd-ypdcrvtPAwaHlMhdtOTAlTuI8FWTwa4s1X7shyuEBTmF5xeRVSxPIkn4Qd9F5UlM/s1600/Dog.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 235px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ZH5I33LU1LJTYh7elQyZ0rWtvb3oc17u3p1QFlb2AA4rfUbcRCIOYwX-5o4g-geollLKo406Nd-ypdcrvtPAwaHlMhdtOTAlTuI8FWTwa4s1X7shyuEBTmF5xeRVSxPIkn4Qd9F5UlM/s320/Dog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566386510109043954" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Michael Moore: "And look! A beagle with a rifle. Could we <span style="font-style: italic;">be</span> any kookier? Well, speaking of kooks...let's talk to a famous crazy gun nut."<br /><br />Assistant: "Mr. Moore, we couldn't get in touch with Phil Spector's people but Terry Nichols is available to talk to you. Also, your shipment of bacon covered bacon just arrived."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKWtY0zWCdwVVrMD8RDLTHhsDjGoGIs43btf5f4pN9IRwwhUm-tcibT8797FUm-rVvQpcgrLSb4XOXNK74AQ_q8CKfOTSSoCfWw2zjt2WVOYfe6lf8Eyj6XRvMTv7LHvl1hyphenhyphenxuEJDweLI/s1600/terry+nichols.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 263px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKWtY0zWCdwVVrMD8RDLTHhsDjGoGIs43btf5f4pN9IRwwhUm-tcibT8797FUm-rVvQpcgrLSb4XOXNK74AQ_q8CKfOTSSoCfWw2zjt2WVOYfe6lf8Eyj6XRvMTv7LHvl1hyphenhyphenxuEJDweLI/s320/terry+nichols.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566387188497315074" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Terry Nichols: "I sleep with a gun under my pillow."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Cue the montage of gun use!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxnxLZoNyMOzjbNevPeu2mjjQzy3At7PZBQ1NZAFIx_dZiwohotVtS3L7O-B2xvv_o9AgvAubvgaKY7r6rfV6Y_lTQMHXU_L6W61xt-n7YRK5mL8ax6q9uectFopTpL3BvX7uJ0jgMN80/s1600/gun+montage.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxnxLZoNyMOzjbNevPeu2mjjQzy3At7PZBQ1NZAFIx_dZiwohotVtS3L7O-B2xvv_o9AgvAubvgaKY7r6rfV6Y_lTQMHXU_L6W61xt-n7YRK5mL8ax6q9uectFopTpL3BvX7uJ0jgMN80/s320/gun+montage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566386510149121266" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Beatles: "<span style="font-style: italic;">Happiness is a warm gun...</span>"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7IWZMEaH9D8rTXJyWJ2Ba2Ywz9BKtpkViC54WJVy56Fl6R5uFeOwalgU-xnZhwMPphc0r92EVkQeJJ1pu5So3N3s-ixEKujWq9eyd9hZB-6JycLFF5kPNV8Egp3cAGs42RCMKMF3cqyU/s1600/lockheed.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7IWZMEaH9D8rTXJyWJ2Ba2Ywz9BKtpkViC54WJVy56Fl6R5uFeOwalgU-xnZhwMPphc0r92EVkQeJJ1pu5So3N3s-ixEKujWq9eyd9hZB-6JycLFF5kPNV8Egp3cAGs42RCMKMF3cqyU/s320/lockheed.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566386804024162754" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Michael Moore: "Did you guys know that Lockheed Martin was responsible for creating bombs that were dropped on Kosovo the day of the Columbine massacre? And look who's in charge of Lockheed. A white man! In a suit. Now, cue Louis Armstrong's Wonderful World and let's watch some tapes of the U.S. doing evil. Next, we have a tape of the Columbine massacre."<br /><br />Assistant: "Should we play <span style="font-style: italic;">The</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">KKK Took My Baby Away</span> or <span style="font-style: italic;">My Generation</span> in the background?"<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Let's be understated and just play the hysterical 911 call a Columbine teacher placed at the time instead. Anyway, after that, the NRA still came to Denver."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwmURIXB7F-8YxdWnzpxCo1x92bfcydrwtrbETh87q6XTvQXpf2DWu8yGCDhyphenhyphenjK7VPgsrr0zC57LhS48BsrsDX5arpFwfGlm3lzsCq0s92xhQwmCsVe4OIBdQySm3vsGefXvSFAETuSfo/s1600/cold+dead.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 201px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwmURIXB7F-8YxdWnzpxCo1x92bfcydrwtrbETh87q6XTvQXpf2DWu8yGCDhyphenhyphenjK7VPgsrr0zC57LhS48BsrsDX5arpFwfGlm3lzsCq0s92xhQwmCsVe4OIBdQySm3vsGefXvSFAETuSfo/s320/cold+dead.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566385835913173874" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Charlton Heston: "FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!"<br /><br />Michael Moore: "So, why do we have higher rates of gun related deaths than any other countries, despite the fact that other nations also love video games, heavy metal, and also have experienced the breakdown of the nuclear family? I'm not sure, but let's have another montage while we play the synthesized version of Beethoven's Fourth made popular in <span style="font-style: italic;">A Clockwork Orange</span>."<br /><br />Stanley Kubrick: "I really should have more control over this sort of thing."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Matt Stone who created <span style="font-style: italic;">South Park </span>also grew up in Colorado. Speaking of cartoons, I'm going to show you a <span style="font-style: italic;">South Park </span>esque cartoon. Draw your own conclusions about who animated it."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSOebaCkA1Mo3rSy7OKkWpEcDYjxF9N0srePmNhvjLy8-9J86N2TMYsRbHgaxzAJJ80dwXIpbZY-bijUZeykvYI4T2tYSfBhim4HQehGnYu2CY-Gb2yB9j3X1IsvoCJ6LqSf5hvj0bqlI/s1600/love+gun.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 232px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSOebaCkA1Mo3rSy7OKkWpEcDYjxF9N0srePmNhvjLy8-9J86N2TMYsRbHgaxzAJJ80dwXIpbZY-bijUZeykvYI4T2tYSfBhim4HQehGnYu2CY-Gb2yB9j3X1IsvoCJ6LqSf5hvj0bqlI/s320/love+gun.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566386808309701186" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Cartoon Character: "Being a rich white oppressive moron is so much easier with a gun."<br /><br />Matt Stone: "Note to self. Remember this moment when writing the script for <span style="font-style: italic;">Team America</span>. Also, look into the physics of marionette fornication."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Americans sure are afraid of things. Probably because of the news depicting black people as criminals. Even the wild, Africanized bees can't catch a break."<br /><br />Professor Barry Glassner: "That's right. You know, on TV, they make black and Hispanic people look like bad guys but the real tragedy is that we can't see the Hollywood sign because of all the pollution. The police are here covering a story of a suspect with a gun but no one seems to care about the pollution issue."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Is that so? Excuse me, Mr. Policeman? You can't see the Hollywood sign because of the pollution. Mr. Policeman? Also, I dropped my fudgsicle. Can you arrest someone?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFBjgn9Etqus-k3QUGNuLbxhmicjT_tqEa4eVHJGzjw0i5SZSexN7n_XtWG2FF1lnEj76YcNYN8sXQicJ8pjEbQ411j7jyIrUd8WCwpTONfAupYZmnvJtTPzUH17jWWvEd3VqtBLfED5E/s1600/arrest+for+polluting.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFBjgn9Etqus-k3QUGNuLbxhmicjT_tqEa4eVHJGzjw0i5SZSexN7n_XtWG2FF1lnEj76YcNYN8sXQicJ8pjEbQ411j7jyIrUd8WCwpTONfAupYZmnvJtTPzUH17jWWvEd3VqtBLfED5E/s320/arrest+for+polluting.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566385834109514994" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Policeman: "Absolutely not."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "But, but...the pollution!"<br /><br />Al Gore: "Hands off, Mike. That story's all mine."<br /><br />Black Kids Playing: "La la la..."<br /><br />Policeman: "Hmm..."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Why not? ...uh, why not?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyAVvd4mU4D-EcY6L6sAqmmz3VjsCarNBZjdTIU0VMnLH-rEWZ1Ojnjme9w3Ps31y_z5JNl-RPu__6JMMW1lNNH9lHvjzpM6-yMTDqfTVSPZnJUzcJFHxw5Txn37Ag3bvUc743Ix3ysjI/s1600/lapd.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyAVvd4mU4D-EcY6L6sAqmmz3VjsCarNBZjdTIU0VMnLH-rEWZ1Ojnjme9w3Ps31y_z5JNl-RPu__6JMMW1lNNH9lHvjzpM6-yMTDqfTVSPZnJUzcJFHxw5Txn37Ag3bvUc743Ix3ysjI/s320/lapd.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566386796626642066" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Policeman: "Excuse me a sec, I'm in the running for the LAPD's much ballyhooed Mark Fuhrman award."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "All right, that's enough critical thinking. Now, back to pop culture. You know what else sucks? <span style="font-style: italic;">COPS</span>! Cue the theme song!"<br /><br />Cops Creator Dick Herland: "Well, exploring the true causes of crime would be hard. So we mostly just follow around cops and pour our scriptwriting funds into Krispy Kremes."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcUQwpC2ceiT272ANTsbae3ZoKG82yV1VovTJxhRRvqhL6LxVeioK7hEYWjIh5xnOXg0l2FEYqt4UnwvZe2qtDLZKt3O2qyIdsezvBHntTRXk-cNw6H4Gx_LeAB_J2tdGj2kFWwxFzIBk/s1600/corporation+cops.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcUQwpC2ceiT272ANTsbae3ZoKG82yV1VovTJxhRRvqhL6LxVeioK7hEYWjIh5xnOXg0l2FEYqt4UnwvZe2qtDLZKt3O2qyIdsezvBHntTRXk-cNw6H4Gx_LeAB_J2tdGj2kFWwxFzIBk/s320/corporation+cops.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566385836765515858" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Michael Moore: "Do a show called <span style="font-style: italic;">Corporation Cops</span>! Everyone in America with a dead end job is gonna love seeing a rich white boss man get taken down. After all, who wouldn't want to punch a guy wearing a suit and tie?"<br /><br />Sadako: "At this point, I can't tell if <span style="font-style: italic;">Corporation Cops</span> is supposed to pass for wit or if it's just another promo for <span style="font-style: italic;">Stupid White Men</span>."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Time now for the <span style="font-style: italic;">O Canada</span> section of our film. Did you know Canadians have a lower rate of gun related murder than the the U.S., despite the same poverty levels, gun ownership rates, and enjoyment of violent movies as we do?<br /><br />Sadako: "Also, that the Canadians have about seventy ways to describe french fries topped with gravy and cheese, but no word for hatred?"<br /><br />Michael Moore: "So, Canadians. Do you guys lock your doors?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_3J-o8HetDa2xXWYUveuatqtcWUkMnNE6VbMp20JQ1BVzWXoREiWvKhzZ8QMFv4cECp4RUPb5NOYLXENozwH66IROTXmZg66gdOCHoMXcAwgmKlI-45eIuOtOUTpzoX6U49Gxj8wB9Gg/s1600/canadian.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 136px; height: 141px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_3J-o8HetDa2xXWYUveuatqtcWUkMnNE6VbMp20JQ1BVzWXoREiWvKhzZ8QMFv4cECp4RUPb5NOYLXENozwH66IROTXmZg66gdOCHoMXcAwgmKlI-45eIuOtOUTpzoX6U49Gxj8wB9Gg/s320/canadian.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567835086554731394" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Canadian: "Nope."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy2HvQH9LqQXcuicw2pDy5gasfx_AfHjP3DlvPbF92Ad7Sta9aUPBnj7qGXWxsGrfMZ7Q6xJ7Kfw1HE0KSu6RA3garg97zVV3K5RNXwWen8J_OgH6LtOum042X0l-pnfat2RdtOiZyjyM/s1600/canadian2.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 197px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy2HvQH9LqQXcuicw2pDy5gasfx_AfHjP3DlvPbF92Ad7Sta9aUPBnj7qGXWxsGrfMZ7Q6xJ7Kfw1HE0KSu6RA3garg97zVV3K5RNXwWen8J_OgH6LtOum042X0l-pnfat2RdtOiZyjyM/s320/canadian2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567835078209808386" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Canadian: "No."<br /><br />Canadian: "Not at all."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuuWAkvo4BnZp4JfoH8AIva71YoK-1EUkfV_5yL-LX3IRuqmWJgHGxGJ3WrO0xQvbQn88eID82uattN9cqJdCd8UOCdqJzTM9hVN9ZjOJV8YXKtEuV4R4gzunNVPSefFVK6ADrwe5t4Fc/s1600/lock+doors+canada.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 233px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuuWAkvo4BnZp4JfoH8AIva71YoK-1EUkfV_5yL-LX3IRuqmWJgHGxGJ3WrO0xQvbQn88eID82uattN9cqJdCd8UOCdqJzTM9hVN9ZjOJV8YXKtEuV4R4gzunNVPSefFVK6ADrwe5t4Fc/s320/lock+doors+canada.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566386801522402242" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Michael Moore: "See? Hi. Hey there!"<br /><br />Canadian: "Oh, hello. Up for a game of luge?"<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Plus their news is free of propaganda and their politicians ready to engage in intelligent discourse."<br /><br />Bureau of Canadian Tourism: "Here's your check, Mike."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Now we're going to return to Flint. Yup, Flint, Michigan. My hometown and site of both my first movie and first documented stalking experience. A six year old boy shot a little girl at school. No one knows why."<br /><br />Sadako: "I'll go with institutionalized racism with a side order of The White Man."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwmURIXB7F-8YxdWnzpxCo1x92bfcydrwtrbETh87q6XTvQXpf2DWu8yGCDhyphenhyphenjK7VPgsrr0zC57LhS48BsrsDX5arpFwfGlm3lzsCq0s92xhQwmCsVe4OIBdQySm3vsGefXvSFAETuSfo/s1600/cold+dead.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 201px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwmURIXB7F-8YxdWnzpxCo1x92bfcydrwtrbETh87q6XTvQXpf2DWu8yGCDhyphenhyphenjK7VPgsrr0zC57LhS48BsrsDX5arpFwfGlm3lzsCq0s92xhQwmCsVe4OIBdQySm3vsGefXvSFAETuSfo/s320/cold+dead.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566385835913173874" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Charlton Heston: "FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS! AGAIN!"<br /><br />Michael Moore: "As he had after the Columbine shooting, Charlton Heston showed up with a pro-gun rally after this shooting, too."<br /><br />Sadako: "Just when your little morality play needed a rich conservative white man to cast in the role of villain most."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMbL1qG6veyIvUcjjfNBNgh_uduMbnkhEH4fJdwIYyvjH8ZIB8LnKfYh9UTgzUFYFNxHpt-CbxqMLo3V13I1FdjR3_sZJBTEPccptSSWZFRFplS2LiNFwXnFeE4u2500BDtQ4J2E9ArMY/s1600/house.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 220px; height: 159px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMbL1qG6veyIvUcjjfNBNgh_uduMbnkhEH4fJdwIYyvjH8ZIB8LnKfYh9UTgzUFYFNxHpt-CbxqMLo3V13I1FdjR3_sZJBTEPccptSSWZFRFplS2LiNFwXnFeE4u2500BDtQ4J2E9ArMY/s320/house.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567764681902966338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Michael Moore: "Next I decided to meet up with some kids who still had bullets lodged in their bodies from the Columbine High School shooting. I figured this movie still didn't have a moment that rivaled the skinned rabbit scene in <span style="font-style: italic;">Roger and Me</span> for tastelesness, so I took the kids to K-Mart and asked if we could return the bullets in their shrapnel ridden bodies for cash."<br /><br />K-Mart: "Well..."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXY3eygKrBWw5wgQ-37T9-2iu_s5aqN7I1RdJZtNMPrUuyq0NBtV5_r80fWhGUeJaifo9qHPg_EDF_lsrjX7dU7ItSx2TTy4YkhIj9W1ApdDzuh6uKlKXzrCo5vOHRz9eqcx3m9XlhXss/s1600/kmart+bullets.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 191px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXY3eygKrBWw5wgQ-37T9-2iu_s5aqN7I1RdJZtNMPrUuyq0NBtV5_r80fWhGUeJaifo9qHPg_EDF_lsrjX7dU7ItSx2TTy4YkhIj9W1ApdDzuh6uKlKXzrCo5vOHRz9eqcx3m9XlhXss/s320/kmart+bullets.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566386792342106194" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Michael Moore: "When that didn't work, I had the kids show off their bullet wounds. Lift up your shirt--show 'em the bullets."<br /><br />Dov Charney: "Compared with this, my unitard ad campaigns are positively G-rated in terms of exploitation levels."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Then it was time to harass Charlton Heston while <span style="font-style: italic;">Mr. Roger's Neighborhood</span> played in the distance and I broke the all time record for ironic music in a film."<br /><br />Charlton Heston: "Hi."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Why do YOU think there's so much gun violence in America?"<br /><br />Charlton Heston: "Ethnic strife?"<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Are you saying you hate black people?"<br /><br />Charlton Heston: "I don't know. I'm an old man. I get confused!"<br /><br />Michael Moore: "So, why do you hate poor, black, oppressed people? And why do you like to have rallies after children have just been murdered? And does it burn you up that you were never considered for the part of Paul Kesey in <span style="font-style: italic;">Death Watch</span>?"<br /><br />Charlton Heston: "..."<br /><br />Roger Smith: "Just smile and nod and wait for him to take a cheeseburger break."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Will you at least apologize?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL2FNLFWNgmG20I6ODOyvV_S5Ml27vAI9m3dnaacCpKW9no2F5oi8Q7Ilv3iFu86Ke-7s5O1VXyI_2wxG9UEN6ye30s5yV66fPEvSMQ0zsQZQ073Y3-bom2aKd9kCkSZ3mkt_7k7zkfGY/s1600/charlton+heston+inteview.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL2FNLFWNgmG20I6ODOyvV_S5Ml27vAI9m3dnaacCpKW9no2F5oi8Q7Ilv3iFu86Ke-7s5O1VXyI_2wxG9UEN6ye30s5yV66fPEvSMQ0zsQZQ073Y3-bom2aKd9kCkSZ3mkt_7k7zkfGY/s320/charlton+heston+inteview.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566385835271350466" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Charlton Heston: "Moses doesn't apologize for shit."<br /><br />Michael Moore: "Mr. Heston, wait, come back, I need to get a shot of you pissing on a murdered girl's photo. Mr. Heston, WAIT. Screw it, we'll amp up his evil quotient in post-production. As I left, I reflected on our gun problem and thought: it was a glorious time to be an American."<br /><br />Joey Ramone: "<span style="font-style: italic;">And I say to myself...what a wonderful world...</span>"<br /><br />Michael Moore: "In case you couldn't tell before, I was being sarcastic."<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-15843497828763487422011-01-28T07:00:00.000-05:002011-01-28T07:11:41.819-05:00Lessons I Learned from Teen Movies, Part IIThere's nothing I like more than learning a good lesson. (A trait I'm sure I picked up from the American Girls and Stan Marsh.) Here's Part II what I learned from some of the teen movies I've watched over the years. <a href="http://bit.ly/gH4XN3">Part I here</a>.<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">She's All That</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij-Iq3_oA8JBcjNManWHOcPZ4m2_4pBYJB0hJIAA-23-hQB-DIkjYS9-fhUTei7HbCMZLU4dtntdU2a1lwPY8MdV1Xq4W0mt-WPWJJwXgRQ26oKe8s1bZrlj6ZtOn5ThPGHmtBpSgDl1g/s1600/she%2527s+all+that.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij-Iq3_oA8JBcjNManWHOcPZ4m2_4pBYJB0hJIAA-23-hQB-DIkjYS9-fhUTei7HbCMZLU4dtntdU2a1lwPY8MdV1Xq4W0mt-WPWJJwXgRQ26oKe8s1bZrlj6ZtOn5ThPGHmtBpSgDl1g/s320/she%2527s+all+that.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565955840661303858" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: After getting dumped by his hottie girlfriend, Zach makes a bet that he can turn any girl into the next high school bombshell. He's given the task of playing Henry Higgins to nerd girl Laney Boggs' Eliza Doolittle.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: There is very little that can make the kids of Rydell High learning to hand jive seem hip. Watching a bunch of white kids try to turn <span style="font-style: italic;">Rockafeller Skank</span> into a dance sensation qualifies, however.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Craft</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAu9F9YYHpsaZwFksyeD_SHyNDIeTxDxg8Z9Dthj0PpnacglcCQ-Fi5_c1quFegED_pDNMdru2MyYGAt2-xZJtJEMlJa0bGYJTbnAZyTSbkFqcu3N_MQKt3Fu3q7DwDkB_GJ-Ch-ZP9UI/s1600/craft.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 207px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAu9F9YYHpsaZwFksyeD_SHyNDIeTxDxg8Z9Dthj0PpnacglcCQ-Fi5_c1quFegED_pDNMdru2MyYGAt2-xZJtJEMlJa0bGYJTbnAZyTSbkFqcu3N_MQKt3Fu3q7DwDkB_GJ-Ch-ZP9UI/s320/craft.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960547185613442" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Four high school girls discover that they can actually use witchcraft to get what they want.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Learning witchcraft is good for summoning up vermin, getting rid of an amorous stepfather, and perfecting the art of <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ZettaiRyouiki">Zettai Ryouiki</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">10 Things I Hate About You</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ-zFyXbNt3qZhhGoW1Q8MD-3YbanV6g4QIxe76uHhl4oufOtzGFwGJ5o-5C70WSMstqODoaCCsVTyMHhp190iYdyvCLCA8yeJD38x_4fNgp6-LV4holVVx4f3SnCATsPsHA-UuHGWrz4/s1600/cover.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 158px; height: 209px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ-zFyXbNt3qZhhGoW1Q8MD-3YbanV6g4QIxe76uHhl4oufOtzGFwGJ5o-5C70WSMstqODoaCCsVTyMHhp190iYdyvCLCA8yeJD38x_4fNgp6-LV4holVVx4f3SnCATsPsHA-UuHGWrz4/s320/cover.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565952173308781650" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A teen movie version of <span style="font-style: italic;">The Taming of the Shrew</span> in which new student Cameron pays bad boy Patrick to ask out bitchy feminist outcast Kat in order to date her more subdued sister. Hilarity, romance, and pop music of the day ensue.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: What is feminism, really? Feminism means never penciling in your eyebrows to make them darker, even when you've got less melanin than Data. Feminism means that girls can go to the guitar shop and reenact the, "It will be mine, oh yes. It will be mine," scene from <span style="font-style: italic;">Wayne's World</span>. And feminism means <span style="font-style: italic;">never</span> loosening up. No matter how many fortune cookies implore you to let a smile be your umbrella. It also means if a guy is paid to take you out, you're only allowed to be mad at him until he buys you something pretty.<br /><br />We can't be too surprised that soon after, girls and women turned from Kat Stratford to Carrie Bradshaw, right?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Election</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKmIOLDdQwVoOUYHV35sRdCD4ba-gCxrSYCk1Bv7NwT5hwp8Z5FmwKkCAITFlqlHJst-ayyqRywqAfYw-5uxg33cKU22fZAFbej3RNWkBaY-JMoWMZuoQMBo5bezugNuuoHYMy1QJA41c/s1600/election.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKmIOLDdQwVoOUYHV35sRdCD4ba-gCxrSYCk1Bv7NwT5hwp8Z5FmwKkCAITFlqlHJst-ayyqRywqAfYw-5uxg33cKU22fZAFbej3RNWkBaY-JMoWMZuoQMBo5bezugNuuoHYMy1QJA41c/s320/election.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960747315202498" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: An overachiever, a football player, and a vengeful social studies teacher deal with a high school presidential election.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: I'll tell you what I didn't learn. The difference between morals and ethics. Stupid Alexander Payne.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ghost World</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9wsvmoMqlx4mKEci1JZXAj7WxvYieJjncTznL9_zPRLe2mzNlGPn7SZGF5ibkkH1CVd5exvDx-4bPoWW_dLOx0VDawyY8TY5RtghV5yoz5eDfeAdb6__qysbX6xF29dYDgbmSHiSscQ/s1600/ghost+world.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 204px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9wsvmoMqlx4mKEci1JZXAj7WxvYieJjncTznL9_zPRLe2mzNlGPn7SZGF5ibkkH1CVd5exvDx-4bPoWW_dLOx0VDawyY8TY5RtghV5yoz5eDfeAdb6__qysbX6xF29dYDgbmSHiSscQ/s320/ghost+world.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567093825788241922" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: After high school, fellow outcasts and best friends Enid and Rebecca try for a non traditional route, only to find things changing faster than they'd realized.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Despite how things turned out for them (and poor, poor Seymour), I still admire Enid and Rebecca. It takes a certain amount of chutzpah to do what they did. Embrace outsider-hood. Not go to college. Wear combat boots and long sleeved shirts in the middle of summer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Breakfast Club</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiay2PU_yz1py6D6yOe-m07jsEa_0k21rEBJrVzrCSCyzHSeh6BUXbxPH9xF4aRVbjXNM2AtrKw6u2PhPtr8QpJxUZse7upFLNymBp8xXlt-fD9qqZaYreewlBYQyYAApxlMRTmX8-PmNg/s1600/breakfast+club.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 224px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiay2PU_yz1py6D6yOe-m07jsEa_0k21rEBJrVzrCSCyzHSeh6BUXbxPH9xF4aRVbjXNM2AtrKw6u2PhPtr8QpJxUZse7upFLNymBp8xXlt-fD9qqZaYreewlBYQyYAApxlMRTmX8-PmNg/s320/breakfast+club.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960341486219730" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: During a Saturday detention, five kids from different cliques realize they have more in common than they'd thought.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Actually, this is one time when I don't think I learned much of anything (except that when TBS is doing a John Hughes-a-thon, <span style="font-style: italic;">The Breakfast Club</span> makes for a good opportunity to take a pizza break). I'll tell you what Anthony Michael Hall learned, though: whether she's a posh uptown girl or a pseudo Goth chick, girls don't go for quiet boys who enjoy puzzles. (Sorry, Langdon Alger.) Check out all of Anthony Michael Hall's post steroid work to see just how much of that lesson he took to heart.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dirty Dancing</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2IUM0xKYm6qeKBlSCoZS0apIyszeCyPGqMhF7PIOzkuMewgg48y_l29Kn8q5UQ4-ViF296JI-gvHdIlWIDDze5qQF-b5_tT9BC7mJQDMS0_MVL8Li-_0bdEeZaPwpCKeh4mLrQpOevVw/s1600/dirty+dancing.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2IUM0xKYm6qeKBlSCoZS0apIyszeCyPGqMhF7PIOzkuMewgg48y_l29Kn8q5UQ4-ViF296JI-gvHdIlWIDDze5qQF-b5_tT9BC7mJQDMS0_MVL8Li-_0bdEeZaPwpCKeh4mLrQpOevVw/s320/dirty+dancing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565962668359649298" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A sheltered Jewish girl finds love one summer at a resort in the Catskills in the early 60s.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Whether you're looking for an abortion experience considered safe by pre <span style="font-style: italic;">Roe v. Wade </span>standards, tango lessons, or an education in Ayn Rand, the Catskills circa 1962 were the place to be.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sixteen Candles</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiepZuhBVgj04cwaBhyaMv-XTxZB0723e9CKMoCFRRL0WgHePu54JA8pnj35td7CmuGXRxt9V63UaH51a0IcXgldHs7iDNzvEz422BNBClt2TeTmSNNWOyeY4iWxPVNB-NUYxEi5pSnRyg/s1600/16candles.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiepZuhBVgj04cwaBhyaMv-XTxZB0723e9CKMoCFRRL0WgHePu54JA8pnj35td7CmuGXRxt9V63UaH51a0IcXgldHs7iDNzvEz422BNBClt2TeTmSNNWOyeY4iWxPVNB-NUYxEi5pSnRyg/s320/16candles.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960328643696050" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Samantha tries to cope with humiliation and getting the guy of her dreams when her family forgets her birthday. Meanwhile, dorky Farmer Ted gets the girl of his dreams.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Sometimes I wonder if John Hughes was going out of his way to come up with ambiguously non-consensual sex scenes just to give feminist blogs of the 00s something to angst over. (To be fair, he did do them a service--after all, just how many posts can you eke out on Terry Richardson and Dov Charney?)<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-16788259193893323672011-01-25T09:30:00.002-05:002011-01-27T10:21:13.235-05:00Lessons I Learned from Teen Movies, Part I<div style="text-align: justify;">There's nothing I like more than learning a good lesson. (A trait I'm sure I picked up from the American Girls and Stan Marsh.) Here's what I learned from some of the teen movies I've watched over the years.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Clueless</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8UmdtFc9hR4zh-K7y_O9se59uOWIcNuF-bTexjrnnteHmy8FDCCEYu66OIos3BBmcunVHKgTRlob7x4-Uc59jMHiXohaKm95_9d9fwBc1EeX1ycEgtX916i9C8vwMNtG76b27_081uUc/s1600/Clueless.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 236px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8UmdtFc9hR4zh-K7y_O9se59uOWIcNuF-bTexjrnnteHmy8FDCCEYu66OIos3BBmcunVHKgTRlob7x4-Uc59jMHiXohaKm95_9d9fwBc1EeX1ycEgtX916i9C8vwMNtG76b27_081uUc/s320/Clueless.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960329747897346" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A sixteen year old Beverly Hills airhead tries to mentor a new girl, learns some life lessons, and finds love in the most unlikely of places.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Using a computer for things other than the Oregon Trail and Midnight Madness doesn't make you a dork or a shut-in. Computers can make things pretty. (I have it on pretty good authority the Weinstein Brothers were taking a break from writing <span style="font-style: italic;">Clueless</span> fanfic when they came up with the idea of equipping each Project Runway contestant with an HP Tablet.) Sorry, Mark Zuckerberg, I credit Cher with transforming computers from dull to chic.<br /><br />Also: incest is best, Wally Shawn is capable of expanding his range beyond "INCONCEIVABLE," and everyone's favorite diva Cher has a hidden past as an infomercial goddess.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Scream</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIEB8afLTT3aGMF9ZEtuYPUnl87WQ3cidYzd4mwZ0ApPqlIaGlzpZiw7gpDVlX209dCE_iXTkIzFECDCckGc7qXZlazfzDt0hnkJTCuC4AKHL6B2MaMrFecP2Tt1KYNkx0RCylAX-Yw9g/s1600/scream.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 255px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIEB8afLTT3aGMF9ZEtuYPUnl87WQ3cidYzd4mwZ0ApPqlIaGlzpZiw7gpDVlX209dCE_iXTkIzFECDCckGc7qXZlazfzDt0hnkJTCuC4AKHL6B2MaMrFecP2Tt1KYNkx0RCylAX-Yw9g/s320/scream.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960752037558162" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Kevin Williamson pays homage to the slasher genre in this 90s send up of horror movies.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Jason Voorhes' mother was the killer in <span style="font-style: italic;">Friday the 13th</span>. I repeat, Jason Voorhes' <span style="font-style: italic;">mother </span>was the killer in <span style="font-style: italic;">Friday the 13th</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Can't Hardly Wait</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KrmF0SJkalqjIYH5w7tN9gWAMp8UxjSYawn3_6DkaR2CiRnM43GC4FvXibr5IC8qGRMdra3tCY1tMJqsscUfsWehsI42Urs8QF0__ATu8DhAxRNoljXKU55vfteRW5vBN_tBGz_3Icg/s1600/poster.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KrmF0SJkalqjIYH5w7tN9gWAMp8UxjSYawn3_6DkaR2CiRnM43GC4FvXibr5IC8qGRMdra3tCY1tMJqsscUfsWehsI42Urs8QF0__ATu8DhAxRNoljXKU55vfteRW5vBN_tBGz_3Icg/s320/poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565952181239877938" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Right after graduation, high schoolers attend a party. Preston hopes that after years of unrequited love, the newly dumped, popular girl Amanda will discover a love of literary nerds, while outcast Denise finds love in the unlikeliest of places.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Ways to start a relationship: common interests, no. Biting the bullet and taking them to dinner and a movie, no. Waiting years until they're dumped and vulnerable and then moving in for the kill: yes. Finding yourself trapped in a bathroom with nothing else to do: yes.<br /><br />And people are surprised that flowers, chocolates, and sonnets have been replaced by negs and Facebook pokes.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Empire Records</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1uXCZCNtsaSBBf3bwMnnDRpfVNSJny8aaQgu-huX6rWOXHmh19jHyKj63FDyY6gAuAn9hBhyphenhyphenaqC0HjiSJYp-nRPg1Ku6ic2uqj2P5TPNu7fDkG9xVgx_L1U_ubLIRVewFCys3P6VJxhk/s1600/empire+rec.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 227px; height: 165px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1uXCZCNtsaSBBf3bwMnnDRpfVNSJny8aaQgu-huX6rWOXHmh19jHyKj63FDyY6gAuAn9hBhyphenhyphenaqC0HjiSJYp-nRPg1Ku6ic2uqj2P5TPNu7fDkG9xVgx_L1U_ubLIRVewFCys3P6VJxhk/s320/empire+rec.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960754504387890" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A day in the life of a group of high school kids working at an alternative record store, trying to deal with their various problems, and attempting to save their store from the forces of corporate evil.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Damn the man! Save the Empire! Gamble with your boss's hard earned savings in Atlantic City! And do it with <span style="font-style: italic;">maximum navel exposure</span>. Years from now, the Museum of Sex is going to feature another exhibit on cultures and their fetishes, and right alongside the Chinese and foot binding, the Japanese and their love of necks, the men of the 1990s and their belly buttons will be right there next to them.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Cruel Intentions</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2x5OhLulBeoBiQjIIWCWLx8SIghFWnNYyKNeoGBSw6qpp4PRc6YHWWq3iqs9q7l5wAf4h0VahTSsySLXYMYvLTDG0M-FAgMectMi1B-_ir6tSug-D2Tn7wb5-jw49zMGuHfIKXaFYEqg/s1600/cruel+int.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2x5OhLulBeoBiQjIIWCWLx8SIghFWnNYyKNeoGBSw6qpp4PRc6YHWWq3iqs9q7l5wAf4h0VahTSsySLXYMYvLTDG0M-FAgMectMi1B-_ir6tSug-D2Tn7wb5-jw49zMGuHfIKXaFYEqg/s320/cruel+int.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960545463156498" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Decadent prep school students manipulate the lives of kids around them in this <span style="font-style: italic;">Dangerous Liaisons</span> remake.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: I learned that you can avoid sleazy 90s teen movies your entire life and somehow still have to watch them for class when you attend an Ivy League institution of higher learning. And director Roger Kumble learned that when you're making a movie about prep school kids that you should think a little bigger. After all, give Katherine Mertreuil a few more Barney's shopping scenes and give Sebastian a pet monkey, take Sebastian's journal and give it a nameless narrator, and you've got Cecily Von Ziegesar's oeuvre. Poor Roger probably still can't watch <span style="font-style: italic;">Gossip Girl</span> without wishing he'd given Sarah Michelle Gellar a few more scenes in her school girl uniform and found a good publishing company to collaborate with.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ferris Bueller's Day Off</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj_ctsTsdx3gFMsmN_ti18CFSeK5w-YtqYEKtO50SR5R2aZDWJPr0SU8Khzpycoap4eKYaYXQP1QPhkHiZoITUI76qhGoT6iizpZjNJQRxri2wD8doPiv-iItxyjUs6f62xu46S-0mRe0/s1600/ferris+bueller.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 138px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj_ctsTsdx3gFMsmN_ti18CFSeK5w-YtqYEKtO50SR5R2aZDWJPr0SU8Khzpycoap4eKYaYXQP1QPhkHiZoITUI76qhGoT6iizpZjNJQRxri2wD8doPiv-iItxyjUs6f62xu46S-0mRe0/s320/ferris+bueller.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960549485719970" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A lovable high schooler plays hooky, avoids the wrath of Principal Rooney, and tries to show his best friend how to appreciate the little things.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Life moves pretty quickly. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.<br /><br />Also, if you want to steal other people's lunch reservations and mess with vintage cars that don't belong to you with impunity, it helps to spout off pithy aphorisms at random intervals.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Carrie</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQePDHzrNy5w0sqdDmDP2ma_2mQLmAvnUC4Fax2dz5ZJ1B2tWzQWJIYstldEfFk1BbhwQiBm0ekkl3f6zG4Bbpi2xFymrhVyFc1aaLjHtIwKViasx82FkqUGRFyd7Mb8nJRMr_qekHXn4/s1600/carrie.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 249px; height: 159px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQePDHzrNy5w0sqdDmDP2ma_2mQLmAvnUC4Fax2dz5ZJ1B2tWzQWJIYstldEfFk1BbhwQiBm0ekkl3f6zG4Bbpi2xFymrhVyFc1aaLjHtIwKViasx82FkqUGRFyd7Mb8nJRMr_qekHXn4/s320/carrie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565960749741381106" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A high school pariah with telekinetic powers takes revenge on her fellow students at prom.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: When taking revenge on your peers, less is more. Carrie White's vengeance was theatrical but she could have done just as much damage and lived to tell about it with just a piece of chalk. Next time, be less like Carrie White and more like Mathilda Wormwood. (Though to be fair, when Mathilda exacted revenge on Miss Trunchbull, she hadn't just been pelted with tampons.)<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-66120818738050771422011-01-18T09:30:00.000-05:002011-01-18T09:51:39.151-05:00TV in a Minute: Twilight Zone: The Bewitchin' Pool<div style="text-align: justify;">Enjoy the latest Twilight Zone post, guys. And expect a Babysitters Club post coming up in the next couple of weeks.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Sport: "What do you thinks down in that there pool, Jeb?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTqdqNJVgD21TkZ_alzKbD0niGkcAi4FPGiYzJhCqkuWDZb0dJI8in6tEcN46vmTpZnIRh94D7_tMztHRE0Nd_vKvVSw0zIpMOGTJ92dDO0DC1gFqwsfhttceqPtGk3yMnMhtIC1mJATE/s1600/pool.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTqdqNJVgD21TkZ_alzKbD0niGkcAi4FPGiYzJhCqkuWDZb0dJI8in6tEcN46vmTpZnIRh94D7_tMztHRE0Nd_vKvVSw0zIpMOGTJ92dDO0DC1gFqwsfhttceqPtGk3yMnMhtIC1mJATE/s320/pool.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563396136102895634" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Jeb: "Water?"<br /><br />Sport: "Silly. We're supposed to show the audience that our rich fantasy life is the only thing keeping us from feelin' bad about our divorcing parents."<br /></div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTyKqqkDhrCALTauXV3xYpcNdpoHm32bkb9Ne2aaLRWE1F3sqOPuki_xG_OsNTQeotCqwCCWeATG9u_Btr43Eq35axGP3nmKxfyXMHki6b7nAIEALmN2-6z12dgRWeVtF1u-9-AakNASw/s1600/whitt.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTyKqqkDhrCALTauXV3xYpcNdpoHm32bkb9Ne2aaLRWE1F3sqOPuki_xG_OsNTQeotCqwCCWeATG9u_Btr43Eq35axGP3nmKxfyXMHki6b7nAIEALmN2-6z12dgRWeVtF1u-9-AakNASw/s320/whitt.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563392821765257698" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Whitt: "Howdy! Come with me!"<br /><br />Sport: "What is this place?"<br /><br />Rod Serling: "I described it to the writers as the town of Willoughby but even more idyllic."<br /><br />Jeb: "Gollee!"<br /><br />Sport: "I wonder if all there was a hole in the bottom of our swimmin' pool."<br /><br />Whitt: "Hahaha!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbpD6-9GwpZcoZhjTbYIAsp8FvTZEMHLOmYr2y8POO6TDk1qdM-O9x4ZN0yQd9qTEGyvDhDHDMg-4fDJh73-dRS_wWUo5kBK9j8gD6WDSao4qJcNEc8mLBDNvZwV2nfnoExTPTJC_ZCsE/s1600/hole+in+our+pool.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbpD6-9GwpZcoZhjTbYIAsp8FvTZEMHLOmYr2y8POO6TDk1qdM-O9x4ZN0yQd9qTEGyvDhDHDMg-4fDJh73-dRS_wWUo5kBK9j8gD6WDSao4qJcNEc8mLBDNvZwV2nfnoExTPTJC_ZCsE/s320/hole+in+our+pool.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563393307284766434" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sport: "Why you--<br /><br />Aunt T: "Now, now. There's no fightin' to be had here. Fightin' takes away from the energy you'll be needing for chores--I mean, for enjoying a parent free paradise. I'm Aunt T, the only grown up in this place."<br /><br />Michael Jackson: "Would you be interested in networking? Your place could be a direct subsidiary of Neverland Ranch..."<br /><br />Aunt T: "Whitt, you and Sport go off and settle your argument. Jeb, while those two are settling their little tiff, you can help me ice the the cake. My, my. You are very accomplished! Have you had much experience?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU1jZDPN_r7KJDJRPUzp5laKrHnb_8xHC-Frr6bTeQt1CRg_ebVxPlRFvys19f8RJFZ5IoVImTATvuCzI9JrWPdNOK_AgOcUMmHcQtVTqdEG_cZ9_f1r6CCKTzcNmGfvxYk8T_ysxW_BM/s1600/cake.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 231px; height: 152px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU1jZDPN_r7KJDJRPUzp5laKrHnb_8xHC-Frr6bTeQt1CRg_ebVxPlRFvys19f8RJFZ5IoVImTATvuCzI9JrWPdNOK_AgOcUMmHcQtVTqdEG_cZ9_f1r6CCKTzcNmGfvxYk8T_ysxW_BM/s320/cake.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563393313040369474" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Jeb: "No, ma'am, this is my first."<br /><br />Aunt T: "Well, we'll just have to put you on cake duty. Though from the look of it, I'd also like to see you behind a shoeshine kit if I get the chance..."<br /><br />Sport: "We're back."<br /><br />Aunt T: "My, you children do seem serious. Why don't you laugh much?"<br /><br />Patti Hearst: "Yeah, guys. Getting kidnapped from your family's no excuse for long faces. I regularly did Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce bits for the SLA gang before our raids."<br /><br />Sport: "What's there to laugh at?"<br /><br />Whit: "I got a riddle! What do you call someone who crosses the ocean twice and never takes a bath? A dirty double crosser!"<br /><br />Sport: "...it's going to be a long eternity."<br /><br />Aunt T: "I'll show you children your rooms and assign you to your chores! And if we have time, I'll measure your ankles and waists for the chains I'll be affixin' to the radiator."<br /><br />Sport: "No. We have to go."<br /><br />Jeb: "I wanna stay with Aunt T! Our inexplicable Southern accents and our predilection for going barefoot suddenly make sense when we're here."<br /><br />Sport: "She's a kidnapper."<br /><br />Aunt T: "Am not. I've been tempted to, hundreds of time, when I've seen children whose parents don't treat 'em right."<br /><br />Sadako: "Yeah, I hate it when I see kids wearing shoes, living in upper middle class homes, and getting an education that goes beyond an old woman's homespun wisdom. Really burns me up."<br /><br />Aunt T: "But I always resisted the temptation!"<br /><br />Parents' voices: "Sport, Jeb? Come back here!"<br /><br />Sport: "They're calling us."<br /><br />Aunt T: "Those voices you hear calling...at first they seem quite strong. But if you ignore them, they go away after a while. And I've got <span style="font-style: italic;">Stockholm Syndrome</span> for dummies if that don't work!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3-8J_YA4_lrGjgqZXkMNSau2EKGcw42JfwQ0CkNTilpMz3SPeBtRb7ZMMXOFZTYSOuM3mLoCRwmpShdHnuwT5uJCFrB_pjLAxZGirUKWDDS1Qe7Sdi0akInHVU6lEgVtfxGJ012ejcJA/s1600/parents+love+us.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3-8J_YA4_lrGjgqZXkMNSau2EKGcw42JfwQ0CkNTilpMz3SPeBtRb7ZMMXOFZTYSOuM3mLoCRwmpShdHnuwT5uJCFrB_pjLAxZGirUKWDDS1Qe7Sdi0akInHVU6lEgVtfxGJ012ejcJA/s320/parents+love+us.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563394690895803794" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sport: "They're our parents and they love us!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfepG7KGFQMJn2NtM71eyYqoZiQDoaXjH39tyqIS_Kp-exJB2TmmyHrOFsBh5-ak1Dfu223_iTvLm5itQd8KjfcvmwHmMDZhEABbwJIf8pENlAv9M35Eaexm3OHAGYJKBcBhDGwT6kgUc/s1600/aunt+t.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfepG7KGFQMJn2NtM71eyYqoZiQDoaXjH39tyqIS_Kp-exJB2TmmyHrOFsBh5-ak1Dfu223_iTvLm5itQd8KjfcvmwHmMDZhEABbwJIf8pENlAv9M35Eaexm3OHAGYJKBcBhDGwT6kgUc/s320/aunt+t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563394689549541922" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Aunt T: "If you say so..."<br /><br />Sport: "Come on, Jeb. We cain't go back there ag'in."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUPIJSpRQrd7-bdFmc-4Rz2Dtd14vsbCTfuosmQfFW8864Um43ReVAooW9tZ6UWB-qcWLkKR51I4edLD6bzaqf3LagDSUmeQR3EUlfCOcck3vg5V8hsFNrJY511wcZDtoND3HaDpigsuI/s1600/mother.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUPIJSpRQrd7-bdFmc-4Rz2Dtd14vsbCTfuosmQfFW8864Um43ReVAooW9tZ6UWB-qcWLkKR51I4edLD6bzaqf3LagDSUmeQR3EUlfCOcck3vg5V8hsFNrJY511wcZDtoND3HaDpigsuI/s320/mother.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563396136017744546" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Mother: "Sport, where is your brother? Get him. It's time for a chilling denouement to this episode, and I'm only doing it once."<br /><br />Sport: "Jeb. Jeb?! He musta gone back to Aunt T!"<br /><br />Jeb: "Aunt T? Why does their have to be chores?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsGxoIMBr7OD4tDctl26IM1xwipm7fbXnu9G5imHoHEFfipNH2EQ-1cblTqDkxk0wa8E2pu3tDDwxeJK8-n5htuknbAnLHWZQMA1WzgGppfqy8hlQb1gR-1eS10bPA15tfodj8BZCa7tc/s1600/chores.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsGxoIMBr7OD4tDctl26IM1xwipm7fbXnu9G5imHoHEFfipNH2EQ-1cblTqDkxk0wa8E2pu3tDDwxeJK8-n5htuknbAnLHWZQMA1WzgGppfqy8hlQb1gR-1eS10bPA15tfodj8BZCa7tc/s320/chores.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563395379305779202" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Aunt T: "Every child must have chores. It teaches him dignity of work and the joy of labor."<br /><br />Bill Lumbergh: "Hmm. I like the sound of that. Hey, Peter, I'm gonna need you to learn a little bit more about the dignity of work this Saturday. Oh, and I'd like you to go ahead and experience the joy of labor."<br /><br />Jeb: "Do all the children got holes in their swimming pools?"<br /><br />Aunt T: "Oh, no. Some of them come down chimneys. Or you open a door and there they are. Sometimes you find them on streetcorners or on doorstops."<br /><br />Sadako: "And sometimes you find them in Lindbergh cribs or in the basements of Boulder, Colorado homes owned by kiddie beauty pageant aficionados. And sometimes even in the bedrooms of Mormon girls."<br /><br />Sport: "Jeb, we got to come back! Mama and Daddy have news."<br /><br />Jeb: "Is it that we was switched at birth and that somewhere in Appalachia, there's a pair of WASPy kids in blazers and floral skirts wondering where their Connecticut parents are?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyg6XiC-eZuub-4Vfi4JRXpYF2Zdbt4kk7EkGfZ8XzUnMGgHTJt4kHjcco5Q2gGYq5uxhauMol7SIAsJ_RBnozclKopWKwFBj93os2LI6I_U0dQsFdBgQ2fUsn2O0ZVkQ-TpNBVUUwpIE/s1600/bewitchin+pool.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyg6XiC-eZuub-4Vfi4JRXpYF2Zdbt4kk7EkGfZ8XzUnMGgHTJt4kHjcco5Q2gGYq5uxhauMol7SIAsJ_RBnozclKopWKwFBj93os2LI6I_U0dQsFdBgQ2fUsn2O0ZVkQ-TpNBVUUwpIE/s320/bewitchin+pool.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559659469902594370" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sport: "They aren't gonna yell and scream at each other anymore. And we're gonna take trips together. Everything's gonna be different. They're gonna love us."<br /><br />Jeb: "But I want to stay with Aunt T!"<br /><br />Aunt T: "Well, you best go back then. Whitt, get my headhunter on the line and see if he's got any more kids I could use. Tell him I'll settle for Red Chief if it's all he's got."<br /><br />Sport: "Are you going to love us?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyo-UgzguwPcNH6F3kH1z7WY0oK2QTp7Dx-1nfMsVQQ-LVotGXgFGW-ZiOOTWL37U-yWKfUX-4KJ9znqSGPV7WYqpFLRBMnpps4vqgGdXfx8aX5oRhyphenhyphenF7wfgyeObvmFxxpaRCuZzHsoX0/s1600/fighting+parents.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 207px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyo-UgzguwPcNH6F3kH1z7WY0oK2QTp7Dx-1nfMsVQQ-LVotGXgFGW-ZiOOTWL37U-yWKfUX-4KJ9znqSGPV7WYqpFLRBMnpps4vqgGdXfx8aX5oRhyphenhyphenF7wfgyeObvmFxxpaRCuZzHsoX0/s320/fighting+parents.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563394529965665010" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Mrs. Sherwood: "No, we're getting a divorce. You want to live with me or that bum?"<br /><br />Sport: "But what about the vacations?"<br /><br />Mr. Sherwood: "You can watch me take a trip to the bank every month to sign over the alimony checks to that she-devil."<br /><br />Mrs. Sherwood: "Now, choose. Who do you want to live with? Him or me?"<br /><br />Jeb: *sniff*<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl_3FPeRmSclnH_oTo0X24_22a3v4z36vFTGB2Lbb5b3rxbUD4GjbIxoNyaBU3s-jylLIGZLKt_vuEapKaBA3BMo8SzJjJiyffc3kNuMoO-T7qub3MdTka36UDeJrGC1lQW9tr8QZ54vs/s1600/go+back.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl_3FPeRmSclnH_oTo0X24_22a3v4z36vFTGB2Lbb5b3rxbUD4GjbIxoNyaBU3s-jylLIGZLKt_vuEapKaBA3BMo8SzJjJiyffc3kNuMoO-T7qub3MdTka36UDeJrGC1lQW9tr8QZ54vs/s320/go+back.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563395382258295314" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sport: "We choose....we choose...neither! Come on, Jeb, we got to get back to Aunt T! A demented old woman who depends on children to get her housework done is the best we can do family wise!"<br /><br />Aunt T: "I'm glad you children decided to stay with Aunt T!"<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-81751166857716068412011-01-11T10:00:00.001-05:002011-01-11T11:06:02.407-05:00TV in a Minute: Twilight Zone: Long Distance Call<div style="text-align: justify;">Hey, guys. I did a guest post on Monday at the Secret Society of List Addicts about Manic Pixie Dream Girls. <a href="http://bit.ly/eoBlAL">Check it out!</a><br /><br />Now, on with the Twilight Zone. Here's <span style="font-style: italic;">Long Distance Call</span>.<br /><br />Grandma: "Happy birthday, Billy! Make a wish. Now whisper it into Grandma's ears! She's the only one who understands you!"<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzq0vEbTLKWlPRMehFVqHxMH3vVGnWYsREqGPKlwtG5gFDf_eUa3cJVucXEUy1_RC53P_Ujb2o9yY4LbcgSTGjxoUxvnEYEl1PU2f49_b60sdEP4YFOyvA2xy0HxifZw3NSgk3_mb7GJo/s1600/birthday.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzq0vEbTLKWlPRMehFVqHxMH3vVGnWYsREqGPKlwtG5gFDf_eUa3cJVucXEUy1_RC53P_Ujb2o9yY4LbcgSTGjxoUxvnEYEl1PU2f49_b60sdEP4YFOyvA2xy0HxifZw3NSgk3_mb7GJo/s320/birthday.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558194969862085554" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sylvia: "Shouldn't we all hear the wish?"<br /><br />Grandma: "No, it's a Grandma thing. Ah, my little Billy. He has given me new life."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj98m4xuiyGU96XXZ9dF86RcCu7-S-tfI1er4Qiuwa33p6Xdfonq28piXsiQH4G0ixrNkQ9_NnhhAYHQhyphenhyphen4gWZr-EDPUZMsES8GLqPQowiJlOXro5OVLs1kLYNyWRSuiuqDNou4Uug-WMw/s1600/grandma+cameo.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj98m4xuiyGU96XXZ9dF86RcCu7-S-tfI1er4Qiuwa33p6Xdfonq28piXsiQH4G0ixrNkQ9_NnhhAYHQhyphenhyphen4gWZr-EDPUZMsES8GLqPQowiJlOXro5OVLs1kLYNyWRSuiuqDNou4Uug-WMw/s320/grandma+cameo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195157538117458" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Billy: "Why are you crying, Grandma?"<br /><br />Grandma: "I won't be here with you for very long. Soon, I will be away."<br /><br />Sadako: "Can I have your cameo brooch when you're gone? Next to owls, they're the next biggest thing in jewelry."<br /><br />Billy: "Where will you be, Grandma?"<br /><br />Chris: "So...who wants presents?"<br /><br />Sadako: "Can't we play a rousing game of <span style="font-style: italic;">Where would Grandma most like to be buried</span> first?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir95cQxP4rO7hYYbEila_Lobo_SadUPheVOb2lMnGTx9f9-nxyQAu5g0WC510yvUK43S46yw6M1Wveoer0q1GoZPB_QQ2Zb6_VyuIh-14w6zp8t07FOHo6i9IEbfEJLtKUxid8lDwff1Q/s1600/presents.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir95cQxP4rO7hYYbEila_Lobo_SadUPheVOb2lMnGTx9f9-nxyQAu5g0WC510yvUK43S46yw6M1Wveoer0q1GoZPB_QQ2Zb6_VyuIh-14w6zp8t07FOHo6i9IEbfEJLtKUxid8lDwff1Q/s320/presents.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195605268844210" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sylvia: "Come on, Billy. Your father and I have gotten all kinds of wonderful toys. perfect for a child of the early 60s. Your very own lil Martini maker. Some tin soldiers made from good old American lead paint. And a toy rifle, fit for shootin' Injuns <span style="font-style: italic;">or</span> battlin' Commies."<br /><br />Grandma: "Billy, come. I found an old telephone. Wouldn't you rather look at Grandma's present? You can talk to me whenever you want on this phone."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2xnAnqlLY3gYIPpERy7MDP3PugcZGlan2ztJx0xTWUaWcXgE0GUyI7qGutLIciPUirnTHrvTCzLp7CyKuPh74EhbmdhWegR1apKampRSJQ5orItyjZMF9JksKaChBMDab-CuTA-I2jSw/s1600/toy+phone.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2xnAnqlLY3gYIPpERy7MDP3PugcZGlan2ztJx0xTWUaWcXgE0GUyI7qGutLIciPUirnTHrvTCzLp7CyKuPh74EhbmdhWegR1apKampRSJQ5orItyjZMF9JksKaChBMDab-CuTA-I2jSw/s320/toy+phone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558196241571613826" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Billy: "Oh boy!"<br /><br />Grandma: "..."<br /><br />Chris: "What is it, Mother?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguVYX3dWmzjc8qyQwdXY_LT7LVbufajnLgiLvedOGBdYlS6XIc6grOYwwDcW9AYpoxU5aH1yMtpH2Q8Un5T5arE4Isg11JL0n7HDox5B3mOTLf3nLD-mArjBiVsbBtexZWKhvB9G78mrQ/s1600/grandma+sick.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 242px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguVYX3dWmzjc8qyQwdXY_LT7LVbufajnLgiLvedOGBdYlS6XIc6grOYwwDcW9AYpoxU5aH1yMtpH2Q8Un5T5arE4Isg11JL0n7HDox5B3mOTLf3nLD-mArjBiVsbBtexZWKhvB9G78mrQ/s320/grandma+sick.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195397078266466" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Grandma: "Heavy handed music that signals that I'm on my deathbed."<br /><br />Billy: "Don't be sick, Grandma!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVNfk7Uf5zH8VAPKErgFt4aGEbbVL7HzWOs-XD_US4BMOBxAoTnWWQMo2wBkJcbgo-2hY6Jg6KU5Oxxw6NHtJ2BKeWJo6DuR80IizMOpllrlCb0aDPPfEOk8Q-qvNVORvjBCaIkXMHVLw/s1600/rod.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 242px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVNfk7Uf5zH8VAPKErgFt4aGEbbVL7HzWOs-XD_US4BMOBxAoTnWWQMo2wBkJcbgo-2hY6Jg6KU5Oxxw6NHtJ2BKeWJo6DuR80IizMOpllrlCb0aDPPfEOk8Q-qvNVORvjBCaIkXMHVLw/s320/rod.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195610500769762" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Rod Serling: "As must be obvious, this is a house hovered over by Mr. Death."<br /><br />Sadako: "Which would probably happen a lot less often if you switched to Nicorette for your narrations, Rod."<br /><br />Rod Serling: "In a moment, a child will try to cross that bridge that separates light and shadow. And of course, he must take that only known route: the Twilight Zone."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc2gP6xczBBwPd27CKaRCPbPir10ctXC5YLwla_Llm6E55iJ1WsDpVo-DtVenmSc26d67zynl5dBCc-UsFXJWYykniUzK1ddDuioLXwP5NxG4cvLdH9FGaktRoHjlFsMo_fok0qghyphenhyphenR7w/s1600/doc.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 245px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc2gP6xczBBwPd27CKaRCPbPir10ctXC5YLwla_Llm6E55iJ1WsDpVo-DtVenmSc26d67zynl5dBCc-UsFXJWYykniUzK1ddDuioLXwP5NxG4cvLdH9FGaktRoHjlFsMo_fok0qghyphenhyphenR7w/s320/doc.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558194979875230018" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Doctor: "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for your mother. You can see her if you like, but she won't recognize you."<br /><br />Grandma: "Who are you?"<br /><br />Chris: "I'm your son, Ma."<br /><br />Grandma: "No. My son was taken away from me by a woman."<br /><br />Mrs. Bates: "You've got to watch your kids like a <span style="font-style: italic;">hawk</span> to make sure things like this don't happen."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHmGPHqLwjLm8YzJdP68x6YUBq7YafYGvABfNmPb2BHQM5TIIm4Mn7_LgLFC8g42Mbub7NfzP4JVdXJAX-VwJ0DsdIbbbNXRZ3QTFzExcrEs37B8cWS0gMX1XU1-slL0ih95ADg6ffQNI/s1600/grandma+dying.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHmGPHqLwjLm8YzJdP68x6YUBq7YafYGvABfNmPb2BHQM5TIIm4Mn7_LgLFC8g42Mbub7NfzP4JVdXJAX-VwJ0DsdIbbbNXRZ3QTFzExcrEs37B8cWS0gMX1XU1-slL0ih95ADg6ffQNI/s320/grandma+dying.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195162316425394" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Grandma: "This is my son now. Billy. Come with me, Billy. Just the two of us. Just you and..."<br /><br />Billy: "Grandma!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWqdx_hlBp_kVXViMfG22ZqvuzooxilXBTtQWdcXbrgTDJOldWl3eeWjMeUDxyXwNpwMdMUybDaO5dLHGP9jJptNEtkHEqcx5DRyAvzPFd04ZQNuAHfc-0_p5UG4ma5Q1RhyvfRS_7E8w/s1600/goodnight+grandma.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 234px; height: 176px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWqdx_hlBp_kVXViMfG22ZqvuzooxilXBTtQWdcXbrgTDJOldWl3eeWjMeUDxyXwNpwMdMUybDaO5dLHGP9jJptNEtkHEqcx5DRyAvzPFd04ZQNuAHfc-0_p5UG4ma5Q1RhyvfRS_7E8w/s320/goodnight+grandma.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195160184060530" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Chris: "Goodnight, sweet guilt tripper. May Livia Soprano and Livia Augusta sing you to your rest."<br /><br />Sadako: "This makes that dreaded birthday where I got Malibu Barbie instead of Ballerina Barbie look like a walk in the park by comparison."<br /><br />Sylvia: "Chris? It's Billy. I'm worried about him the last few days. He's wandering around in a daze since your mother died instead of joining me in a victory jig."<br /><br />Chris: "I'm sure he'll be fine, dear."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnAQWlQPs9GkfSTYkx4JXViwG5EwitPlQUURVWqZ_XBKXcQdE0WO3I-IpZhpMpXubXQUkvhNBQujJc3OPPRU7itLl0Yl3SlfwIhhN5yj3l0TNrXwgWah4gdc8pFIPA-jdN_QggZ6vmAS0/s1600/long+distance+call.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 266px; height: 195px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnAQWlQPs9GkfSTYkx4JXViwG5EwitPlQUURVWqZ_XBKXcQdE0WO3I-IpZhpMpXubXQUkvhNBQujJc3OPPRU7itLl0Yl3SlfwIhhN5yj3l0TNrXwgWah4gdc8pFIPA-jdN_QggZ6vmAS0/s320/long+distance+call.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559852836989862098" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Billy: "Yeah? Oh..."<br /><br />Sylvia: "Who are you talking to on your toy phone, Billy?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSPJIWO1YuEaT29toWP6MvKVW14vMcYjzaYAzjdFyDCLu6vDyPgoo2ldSZQeRBdIc1e1hyoIWc1FOGR2Vf_NBuC7MYN8jDVLxn8_rhXSio6VoOeBLF47dVZPtr9y-uswYfnYahhm0m8WA/s1600/can+i+visit.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 208px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSPJIWO1YuEaT29toWP6MvKVW14vMcYjzaYAzjdFyDCLu6vDyPgoo2ldSZQeRBdIc1e1hyoIWc1FOGR2Vf_NBuC7MYN8jDVLxn8_rhXSio6VoOeBLF47dVZPtr9y-uswYfnYahhm0m8WA/s320/can+i+visit.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558194975451850242" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Billy: "Grandma. Can I come visit her?"<br /><br />Sylvia: "..."<br /><br />Sadako: "Sure, Billy. Right after your play date with Captain Howdy."<br /><br />Babysitter: "Mr. and Mrs. Bayles?! Oh, thank goodness you're here."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKs-dhqaqcZEdJ9KgfOIpPr27GeJLT9Wqpr3KsvDoLmKnAuPRQGJp2KbhAnmjVcb2c_nVZMdMc5MXpri0s0kgpWtZpuY7sGanlCYAkyzatsceKiIe-_nYP0j6Ft1Bx59VcyFDNrJtaVj0/s1600/neighbor+sitter.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKs-dhqaqcZEdJ9KgfOIpPr27GeJLT9Wqpr3KsvDoLmKnAuPRQGJp2KbhAnmjVcb2c_nVZMdMc5MXpri0s0kgpWtZpuY7sGanlCYAkyzatsceKiIe-_nYP0j6Ft1Bx59VcyFDNrJtaVj0/s320/neighbor+sitter.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195397955799218" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Mr. Peterson: "While you were out at the funeral, your son ran right out into the road, right in front of my truck. When I asked him why he did it, he said someone told him to."<br /><br />Sylvia: "Billy! Who are you talking to on that phone?! What's this about?!"<br /><br />Billy: "Nobody!"<br /><br />Sylvia: "Dammit!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJxb_Tkxt3skBImfm4A7K9HfXOKjhurzSVbO8w6_VPHOxG70Ep3PwJuw97JRf2H0Aws4o_1o6arI92izUAL-PVaAPT_tZL0UWRML4tJuh_5l8QZBcqD2x7qin9gDoJ2Mvw31gJ6SZZQtM/s1600/not+in+front+of+mom.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJxb_Tkxt3skBImfm4A7K9HfXOKjhurzSVbO8w6_VPHOxG70Ep3PwJuw97JRf2H0Aws4o_1o6arI92izUAL-PVaAPT_tZL0UWRML4tJuh_5l8QZBcqD2x7qin9gDoJ2Mvw31gJ6SZZQtM/s320/not+in+front+of+mom.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195603528136002" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Chris: "Hmm. Better fix this. Seems I've misplaced my Dr. Spock. Uh, Billy, don't talk to Grandma in front of your mother. It freaks her out. Now that that pesky parenting's out of the way, time to join Rod for a martooni."<br /><br />Billy: "What's that? Okay, Grandma. It'll be our little secret!"<br /><br />Sylvia: "What the? Give me that. Oh...it's HER. Uh, where'd Billy go?"<br /><br />Chris: "He's in the pond! No! Billy!"<br /><br />Sylvia: *sob*<br /><br />Chris: "Is he..."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1-E5-EtaA-z86wtz9Kv4AaO-jCDhLIOBewl2G0HaLZI-COIhBh9zmckJfm8DtxilBLW_-OiSdpky_tpViZUQDXiAj5fFLAB5XR_sbrKFl_tN-FJlI3SatJnY-Hg6Z2RfHHhXf1PSMxO8/s1600/paramedic.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1-E5-EtaA-z86wtz9Kv4AaO-jCDhLIOBewl2G0HaLZI-COIhBh9zmckJfm8DtxilBLW_-OiSdpky_tpViZUQDXiAj5fFLAB5XR_sbrKFl_tN-FJlI3SatJnY-Hg6Z2RfHHhXf1PSMxO8/s320/paramedic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558195602743304226" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Paramedic: "I'm afraid it doesn't look good. But the doctor will be here soon to give your wife a sedative. You should really keep Mother's Little Helper stocked in your medicine cabinet."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6MdFre6MMydtnomyH6_EEYPhR2FgNv4mhkm5UGP2taOQtxo323QSKZj0Vej2beKMRsihN8Bx6lgosSepaj_h-mVUgjwtMb6TWbq3C6ngxarZR4N0k5SrrM7DUm3zE9m_qu5QV87iRuDQ/s1600/talking+to+grandma.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 246px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6MdFre6MMydtnomyH6_EEYPhR2FgNv4mhkm5UGP2taOQtxo323QSKZj0Vej2beKMRsihN8Bx6lgosSepaj_h-mVUgjwtMb6TWbq3C6ngxarZR4N0k5SrrM7DUm3zE9m_qu5QV87iRuDQ/s320/talking+to+grandma.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558196236756766786" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Chris: "Ma. Billy's only five. He hasn't lived. He hasn't been to school, had girlfriends, worn long pants. There's a whole world out there."<br /><br />Sadako: "Just think. Billy will miss the advent of denim."<br /><br />Chris: "If you really love Billy, give him back. Give him back, Ma! I know adjusting to the afterlife is hard, but try! Play Mah Jong! Join a living challenged bowling league! Become an afterlife caseworker! Just let Billy live!"<br /><br />Paramedic: "I have no idea how we did it but Billy's going to be all right! It's a miracle!"<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-22351616143891072002011-01-09T12:00:00.000-05:002011-01-09T12:22:42.752-05:00Happy 2nd Blogaversary To Me!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCgjrV8XPqXWJtuRUAkc1KGy77b1eAe5TSq8dTf8iA7JkHwYOxqsFHP16iIqCHhFVhr3grk0QOQexUJ4w_CZHPlwK_KwGLtugYm52q7KcRjM6kCKGoJ7_L_diEMLJ158C7odApiUJGlXQ/s1600/Happy+Blog.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCgjrV8XPqXWJtuRUAkc1KGy77b1eAe5TSq8dTf8iA7JkHwYOxqsFHP16iIqCHhFVhr3grk0QOQexUJ4w_CZHPlwK_KwGLtugYm52q7KcRjM6kCKGoJ7_L_diEMLJ158C7odApiUJGlXQ/s320/Happy+Blog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560237761658073042" border="0" /></a><br />Happy Blogaversary, Dibbly Fresh! It's been two years since I started this blog.<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />So, what's happened since last year?<br /><br />I've branched out and started <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/p/tv.html">snarking movies</a>. And I like to think my blog posts had a far reaching effect. I took <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/02/movies-in-minute-dirty-dancing.html">Jennifer Grey out of that corner and put her into the spotlight where she belonged</a>. (With a little help from ABC.)<br /><br />I predicted how much people would love to <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/11/movies-in-minute-social-network.html">drop the word "Winklevi" into casual conversation</a>.<br /><br />I jumped on the trend of hating <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/09/movies-in-minute-sex-and-city.html">Sex and the City 2</a> a whole five months later.<br /><br />And well before Spiderman: the Musical, I reminded people just how much fun taking musicals down a peg could be--whether they be snarked because they contain <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/01/cats-snarkicle.html">dancing cats in tight costumes</a> or the <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/03/movies-in-minute-annie.html">most evil Ginger child ever conceived of</a> or <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/03/movies-in-minute-grease.html">dangerously high levels of John Travolta</a>.<br /><br />I'm also particularly proud of my Disney spoofs (the <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/08/movies-in-minute-disneys-little-mermaid.html">Little Mermaid</a> and the <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/08/movies-in-minute-disneys-lion-king.html">Lion King</a> in particular).<br /><br />But I'm not afraid to be humble. I also learned some very important lessons this year: from <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-i-learned-from-reading-goosebumps.html">Goosebumps</a>, <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/12/lessons-i-learned-from-babysitters-club.html">the Babysitters Club</a> (old Ann M. can still teach me quite a bit!), and from the <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/11/lessons-i-learned-from-twilight-zone.html">Twilight Zone</a>.<br /><br />I also learned that I'm just as entertained by <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/05/full-house-in-minute.html">Full House</a> and <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/10/boy-meets-world-in-minute.html">Boy Meets World</a> when their entire seasons are reduced to a single blog post.<br /><br />And let's not forget my wonderful encounter with ghostwriter <a href="http://dibblyfresh1.blogspot.com/2010/03/in-which-sadako-dorks-out-or-my-ten.html">Peter Lerangis</a>.<br /><br />I hope to make the next year even better. Check out this past year's posts and help yourself to some sheet cake while you're here.<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-56682565437757994952011-01-04T10:05:00.001-05:002011-01-04T23:12:24.724-05:00TV in a Minute: Twilight Zone: Eye of the Beholder<div style="text-align: justify;">Sorry for the long wait, folks. In honor of this past weekend's Twilight Zone-a-thon, I present: Eye of the Beholder, the first episode of the Twilight Zone that I ever saw.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Janet Tyler: "Well. Here I am. In for my final surgery that will determine whether or not I can be made to look like a normal member of society. It's pretty bad, isn't it, Nurse?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQYXuL7hWdTYrMc8DcDS_R-eOVENcUgcSaaaRoCdGGZrPKuxn2Tf5_i0S829dJVsblnD1O9LI4jw9jBdzRtqzCTX-76czeVRhWX26HZDBTx6QamchHyljTFhn-AFykDETzN3TlhRFkgNI/s1600/Nurse+with+janet.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQYXuL7hWdTYrMc8DcDS_R-eOVENcUgcSaaaRoCdGGZrPKuxn2Tf5_i0S829dJVsblnD1O9LI4jw9jBdzRtqzCTX-76czeVRhWX26HZDBTx6QamchHyljTFhn-AFykDETzN3TlhRFkgNI/s320/Nurse+with+janet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558022757925356946" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Nurse: "I've seen worse."<br /><br />Sadako: "I see this hospital actively recruits from the Nurse Ratched School of Proper Bedside Manner."<br /><br />Janet Tyler: "I never really wanted to be beautiful. I never wanted to look like a painting or anything."<br /><br />Sadako: "Though I'm sure <span style="font-style: italic;">Dogs Playing Poker</span> must have cruelly taunted you every time you saw it."<br /><br />Janet: "I just wanted people not to scream when they looked at me."<br /><br />Nurse #2: "Have you seen patient 307?"<br /><br />Nurse #1: "Indeed I have. If it were my face I'd bury myself in a grave. Want to gossip about the burn victim unit next and the slightly less cute babies in NICU?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij53GZehxbYtNbqOkeviR3iWf3fUtKF2vyW8EnfmiScJ0zOVYxa3fHOi1dG6dmIQQ3cgv-c1NB7-h0OBgiN1RfZgjaaVBCsR7tMBnSelMQpFeN9HCdy_AqUarFfoxJWnpnDXiaym9qbr0/s1600/rod.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 271px; height: 205px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij53GZehxbYtNbqOkeviR3iWf3fUtKF2vyW8EnfmiScJ0zOVYxa3fHOi1dG6dmIQQ3cgv-c1NB7-h0OBgiN1RfZgjaaVBCsR7tMBnSelMQpFeN9HCdy_AqUarFfoxJWnpnDXiaym9qbr0/s320/rod.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558023038054521074" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Rod Serling: "In a minute we'll see what's under those bandages, keeping in mind that we're not to be surprised by what we see under them. It could well be a three eyed Martian, a <span style="font-style: italic;">Crucible</span> esque satire of Communism, the devil, or Hitler."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwqKYF3saoRTQ9hfJHcWLBxYXTBSMgr4oiLt6pkgb62RE_KS7_oBwuLQCgOTA8unBASGAbuFWiMsS6xErhtYD7g9IjKPd9NaMI2VBCuho-05QLhtPUiukJCmISxUTopE8LNzn4j_2yauc/s1600/janet+and+doctor.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwqKYF3saoRTQ9hfJHcWLBxYXTBSMgr4oiLt6pkgb62RE_KS7_oBwuLQCgOTA8unBASGAbuFWiMsS6xErhtYD7g9IjKPd9NaMI2VBCuho-05QLhtPUiukJCmISxUTopE8LNzn4j_2yauc/s320/janet+and+doctor.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558022759605273986" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Doctor: "Frankly, your case has stumped us, Miss Tyler. Nothing we've done so far has helped. Shots, surgeries. Though there is the up and coming paper bag over the head technique coming in from the Middle East..."<br /><br />Janet: "What happens if I haven't responded?"<br /><br />Doctor: "This is your eleventh surgery. After this, you won't be permitted to have any more surgeries to make you normal. But there are alternatives. We could...just put you away somewhere."<br /><br />Janet: "You mean a GHETTO!"<br /><br />Doctor: "Miss Tyler, please! I worked hard on carefully crafting my euphemisms for you."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNQ-3pmVz_OoQycB_rUm9nhM4wA69RANntpHGkGO96iPVQE0YzGpW_mWqFXsJ-nrvf-RW7flLt6Da0VqVzSyBbxy20OuxgWNE1FXdk6VCgg5wN8GyjhJ2jdsRdMenEWKVeEnClGjgnpd4/s1600/janet+screaming.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNQ-3pmVz_OoQycB_rUm9nhM4wA69RANntpHGkGO96iPVQE0YzGpW_mWqFXsJ-nrvf-RW7flLt6Da0VqVzSyBbxy20OuxgWNE1FXdk6VCgg5wN8GyjhJ2jdsRdMenEWKVeEnClGjgnpd4/s320/janet+screaming.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558022757682076386" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Janet: "It isn't fair! Who is the State to decide who's normal and who isn't! The State isn't GOD!"<br /><br />Doctor: "Oh dear. Nurse, nurse? Bring sedatives."<br /><br />Janet: "Take the bandages off! Take them off!"<br /><br />Doctor: "Well, we were hoping to keep them on another couple days, maybe stretch out the suspense of this episode to an hour...but okay."<br /><br />Nurse #1: "You look tired, Doctor."<br /><br />Doctor: "I hadn't thought about it. I suppose I have been under some tension. Dealing with the ugly and all that. I've seen this woman's real face--her soul. It just makes me wonder if conformity is the answer."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgETG_mRGOGAQmhER4-ggqaZ9r7NH1BZ7YJUozJMTh_M0ySdJT3UUPE_Bz-xxuFC7_Tpk1wWp93FtTG8RK__ZE1Ofu1qptg85l7JVbuWI-0YQ81AQf8YmYIyX9Hg8kCAwUxgHjgD3sO-cI/s1600/doctor+talking+nurse.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 222px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgETG_mRGOGAQmhER4-ggqaZ9r7NH1BZ7YJUozJMTh_M0ySdJT3UUPE_Bz-xxuFC7_Tpk1wWp93FtTG8RK__ZE1Ofu1qptg85l7JVbuWI-0YQ81AQf8YmYIyX9Hg8kCAwUxgHjgD3sO-cI/s320/doctor+talking+nurse.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558022754674343506" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Nurse #1: "Doctor? What are you saying?"<br /><br />Doctor: "Sorry. We're barely at the twenty minute mark and I thought a long self reflective monologue was called for."<br /><br />Nurse #1: "This case has upset your balance, your sense of values."<br /><br />Doctor: "That, and working in a hospital where there are so many power outages."<br /><br />Nurse #2: "Leader's speaking tonight. He goes on in just a few minutes. Hope it's Orwellian and not Vonnegut-esque tonight."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw72q8EFgLSt8Hkx_Esd9YCrG2bIE88eji2ypT8OP-EwJwrw3M1GStni4cHgOS3BXOays5JQyRAI7J7dEfdpfxMC_GvFIhu8_TdZ2xaHGyvTouY1KUyELFaYuOFwo0a-URoyM2NUEUrGY/s1600/flat+screen.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw72q8EFgLSt8Hkx_Esd9YCrG2bIE88eji2ypT8OP-EwJwrw3M1GStni4cHgOS3BXOays5JQyRAI7J7dEfdpfxMC_GvFIhu8_TdZ2xaHGyvTouY1KUyELFaYuOFwo0a-URoyM2NUEUrGY/s320/flat+screen.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558024105533366338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Sadako: "Flat-screen TVs. Well, Rod, you may not have been able to predict the future of artificial intelligence, time travel, or extraterrestrial life, but you got TV right."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhglQ26qwomY0BJELIBWSpKhdj_zRPaHEXROXRhm4_JgvjoY3q9hdYoSXlyK45tSAne6yu3BC7N6rxGGXOUB0ry25tYeB93JM9ayQ276Q1VyCxjGbuxNEB9J6Hc9bTbkYk1lAPLX7bhhps/s1600/leader+flat+screen.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 235px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhglQ26qwomY0BJELIBWSpKhdj_zRPaHEXROXRhm4_JgvjoY3q9hdYoSXlyK45tSAne6yu3BC7N6rxGGXOUB0ry25tYeB93JM9ayQ276Q1VyCxjGbuxNEB9J6Hc9bTbkYk1lAPLX7bhhps/s320/leader+flat+screen.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558024103232286610" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Leader: "Tonight's fireside chat is on glorious conformity. As is the tradition, I'll be saving any close up or medium shots for the conclusion of my speech."<br /><br />Ayn Rand: "No! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEKc1Suf_eWhmoouOgSEyHT1n5HsfbxAH1YZ69Gekm1CdA3Ap9r6-U_3h6tC8WPrKh04EAQB3_SI066tzorgkaINUh1rsWTPDleRtNR_m70SNamNm3i9ukxpJ0uy7szgcJqZtFQzEjG_k/s1600/remove+bandages.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEKc1Suf_eWhmoouOgSEyHT1n5HsfbxAH1YZ69Gekm1CdA3Ap9r6-U_3h6tC8WPrKh04EAQB3_SI066tzorgkaINUh1rsWTPDleRtNR_m70SNamNm3i9ukxpJ0uy7szgcJqZtFQzEjG_k/s320/remove+bandages.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558023034073808306" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Doctor: "Now, Miss Tyler, time to remove the bandages and reveal whether we'll accept you as one of us or whether you get to live out your life as the modern day equivalent of a leper. I'm going to have to ask that you remain calm."<br /><br />Janet: "All right."<br /><br />Doctor: "No change! No change at all! She's not bulldog esque. She's barely even spaniel like in appearance!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiufNdQbAWJLniGH3uZXL6MksYptoKeAyCKYEu4vlEKta-4XxPy5mPp0RrMaDoplDPRt5IPJ1AeV8c4e_-ETM4zIuNHr1ER4oMk-Lgo7G8IGZ9RHDPRbmXBGQfhDuUiQfwSyrOBb6PWL1s/s1600/screaming+janet.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiufNdQbAWJLniGH3uZXL6MksYptoKeAyCKYEu4vlEKta-4XxPy5mPp0RrMaDoplDPRt5IPJ1AeV8c4e_-ETM4zIuNHr1ER4oMk-Lgo7G8IGZ9RHDPRbmXBGQfhDuUiQfwSyrOBb6PWL1s/s320/screaming+janet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558023039340774306" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Janet: "No! NO!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHp9N3V4DPlGpB2jxA_HnsIxdxbMJ2GMvsh9T5872rZ3tn8DGYcmYSIt10rMtCURXFjmSyrQPWNmWh99uk5FB-6qG6LVlpOCr00mviHe-J9xQHX7YBquywK6bfilU1BJwod8i6b_44kMU/s1600/walter+and+janet.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHp9N3V4DPlGpB2jxA_HnsIxdxbMJ2GMvsh9T5872rZ3tn8DGYcmYSIt10rMtCURXFjmSyrQPWNmWh99uk5FB-6qG6LVlpOCr00mviHe-J9xQHX7YBquywK6bfilU1BJwod8i6b_44kMU/s320/walter+and+janet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558023043372302578" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Doctor: "Miss Tyler! Miss Tyler! Don't be afraid. This man, Walter Smith, is here to help you. I know he seems ugly to you now but he's going to go with you to a colony of other ug--er, beautifully challenged people."<br /><br />Walter: "Just keep in mind one thing, Miss Tyler. An old, very old saying. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You'll come to realize that soon."<br /><br />Sadako: "Sorry, Walter, I didn't quite get the overall point of this episode. Do you think you could be a little less subtle?"<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-74209429566034824762010-12-23T12:01:00.000-05:002010-12-23T12:13:06.464-05:00Movies in a Minute: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York<div style="text-align: justify;">Hey, guys. No new posts this week, sorry--I've been taking it easy. But in honor of Xmas this weekend, check out this classic (NOT old) blog post on Home Alone 2!<br /><br /><br />Kate McCallister: "Peter, do you think we should do anything for Kevin? I feel so guilty for leaving him at home last year."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 262px; height: 151px;" alt="http://www.toplessrobot.com/context_00001_home_alone_2_lost_in_new_york.jpg" src="http://www.toplessrobot.com/context_00001_home_alone_2_lost_in_new_york.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Peter McCallister: "Don't worry. I gave him my old tape recorder. He thinks it's a great new toy and it didn't cost us anything. Well, off to Florida tomorrow. Kevin, go get your tie out of the bathroom so your whole family can verbally abuse you for not reacting to Buzz's humiliation of you with gentle good humor."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 312px; height: 147px;" alt="http://www.madfishestheblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/homealone2.jpg" src="http://www.madfishestheblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/homealone2.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Uncle Frank: "Get out of here you nosy little pervert, or stuff some singles in the shower curtain, because I'm not giving all this away for free!"<br /><br />Kate: "Oh no, we slept in again!"<br /><br />Kevin: "My parents are on that flight! And my boarding pass is...somewhere."<br /><br />Airline Security: "Go on in. You look trustworthy."<br /><br />Osama Bin Laden: "And you guys at the convention laughed at me when I came up with my grand plan. You said, no, Osama, go for the empty cornfield in Kansas. Now who's laughing, eh? Eh?"<br /><br />Kevin: "I'm in New York? Oh no. I did it again. OK, time to check in at the Plaza. Credit card fraud? You got it."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 216px; height: 248px;" alt="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhADYoxb_uoOLVvxnqu_lcGml5IHZ54uBr-I7l9h8869fKWN1QfQYqQGCSEfZ0Be0Jwa5TPI5Tn7g4d0VaMZ1MmWjZD7F-YPUsTFE6mWbtd1xMFKH80zDtDxZ10Vxk_2uLZzmnIUfwr5S90/s320/tim+curry.jpg" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhADYoxb_uoOLVvxnqu_lcGml5IHZ54uBr-I7l9h8869fKWN1QfQYqQGCSEfZ0Be0Jwa5TPI5Tn7g4d0VaMZ1MmWjZD7F-YPUsTFE6mWbtd1xMFKH80zDtDxZ10Vxk_2uLZzmnIUfwr5S90/s320/tim+curry.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Mr. Hector: "There's something not quite right about that young boy. I'm going to make it my life's mission to unmask him. Cedric, watch him like a hawk."<br /><br />Kevin: "Excuse me, why were you going through my bag?"<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 246px; height: 184px;" alt="http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsS/15459-8695.gif" src="http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsS/15459-8695.gif" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Cedric: "I thought there might be a non demeaning movie role in there for me?"<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 288px; height: 162px;" alt="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix8DUlOIregMqyNofJJRnJo_BCfQNPpNv5XVQBMjqngjxI0StAu8TAiJuoZPq3ZKVxcBmbMSOQlxbszUf_YpCEK2XVqxpjAU60PyzPz4mfDmNDDHUfnWs_paJq-zt0mJbwumxjiYS9r5Q/s400/home+alone5.jpg" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix8DUlOIregMqyNofJJRnJo_BCfQNPpNv5XVQBMjqngjxI0StAu8TAiJuoZPq3ZKVxcBmbMSOQlxbszUf_YpCEK2XVqxpjAU60PyzPz4mfDmNDDHUfnWs_paJq-zt0mJbwumxjiYS9r5Q/s400/home+alone5.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kevin: "Sick. An old man Marley doppleganger who's also a vector for bird flu. Well, time for shopping!"<br /><br />Mr. Duncan: "My, my. Where did you get all that money?"<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kevin: "Uh. Lots of grandmothers. I'm part Mormon. So what's with this Mr. Duncan? Is this store an extension of Neverland Ranch or what?"<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Mr. Duncan: "Well, you see, Mr. Duncan is a kindly old man who loves to talk about himself in the third person. He loves kids so much that every Christmas, in between serving<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>F.A.O. Schwartz with lawsuits, he just takes the money from the cash registers and brings it to the children's hospital. Oh, take an ornament from Mr. Duncan's tree. The turtle doves are especially exquisite."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 225px; height: 168px;" alt="http://clashofthetitans.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/homealone2_l.jpg" src="http://clashofthetitans.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/homealone2_l.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Harry: "Look who it is. A witness to last year's crime and someone who also tortured us on several occasions. Let's get involved in his life again."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 167px; height: 123px;" alt="http://media.jinni.com/movie/home-alone-2-lost-in-new-york/home-alone-2-lost-in-new-york-1.jpeg" src="http://media.jinni.com/movie/home-alone-2-lost-in-new-york/home-alone-2-lost-in-new-york-1.jpeg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kevin: "Oh no! Marv and Harry! And I forgot to buy Marv a Hanukkah gift."<br /><br />Mr. Hector: "What's the matter? Not cute enough to pass off a...stolen credit card?"<br /><br />Kevin: "Angels with Filthier Souls, don't fail me now."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 193px; height: 197px;" alt="http://www.culch.ie/images/Angels001.jpg" src="http://www.culch.ie/images/Angels001.jpg" /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Johnny: "You was here. And you were smooching with my brother. You've been smooching with everyone. Cheeks. Bony Bob. Cliff."<br /><br />Cliff: "It's a lie!"<br /><br />Chris Columbus: "Oh, man. Is there anything that can't be made funnier by homophobia?"<br /><br />Harry: "Come to Papa! We're going to waste you and then rob a toy store. Say hello to Spider for me."<br /><br />Marv: "He's getting away!"<br /><br />Harry: "No, he's going into pre-<span style="font-style: italic;">tidied up by Rudy Giuliani</span> Central Park. He's a dead man."<br /><br /><img style="width: 288px; height: 162px;" alt="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix8DUlOIregMqyNofJJRnJo_BCfQNPpNv5XVQBMjqngjxI0StAu8TAiJuoZPq3ZKVxcBmbMSOQlxbszUf_YpCEK2XVqxpjAU60PyzPz4mfDmNDDHUfnWs_paJq-zt0mJbwumxjiYS9r5Q/s400/home+alone5.jpg" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix8DUlOIregMqyNofJJRnJo_BCfQNPpNv5XVQBMjqngjxI0StAu8TAiJuoZPq3ZKVxcBmbMSOQlxbszUf_YpCEK2XVqxpjAU60PyzPz4mfDmNDDHUfnWs_paJq-zt0mJbwumxjiYS9r5Q/s400/home+alone5.jpg" /><br /><br />Kevin: "Help! A rock! Aah. Oh. You're not so bad."<br /><br />Bird Lady: "When I take my schizophrenia medication, I'm downright chipper."<br /><br />Kevin: "So what's your deal?"<br /><br />Bird Lady: "Got my heart broken, and now I can't trust in love."<br /><br />Kevin: "A heart is like a pair of roller skates. Use it before you outgrow them and all your friends make fun of you for not wearing neon inline roller blades."<br /><br />Bird Lady: "That's good. You got any kid friendly metaphors for my alcoholism and mental issues?"<br /><br />Kate: "Excuse me. What kind of idiots do you have working here?"<br /><br />Mr. Hector: "Well, Cousin Itt's wife isn't the brightest, but ever since he stopped paying alimony, she's got no choice. And don't be hard on Cedric--he's not much of a bellboy. His main field of expertise is in making the copies."<br /><br />Kevin: "Hey Marv and Harry? Don't mess with kids on Christmas."<br /><br />Bird Lady: "And take that. Bird seed."<br /><br />Kevin: "Awesome, all the loose plot points have been wrapped up before my family got here."<br /><br />Buzz: "Kevin, you've taught all us a valuable lesson. Lie your way into the Plaza and then make them give you a huge suite in exchange for not suing anyone."<br /><br />Kevin: "Bird Lady, here. It's a turtle dove. You keep one and I'll take the other and we'll remember each other."<br /><br /><img style="width: 288px; height: 162px;" alt="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix8DUlOIregMqyNofJJRnJo_BCfQNPpNv5XVQBMjqngjxI0StAu8TAiJuoZPq3ZKVxcBmbMSOQlxbszUf_YpCEK2XVqxpjAU60PyzPz4mfDmNDDHUfnWs_paJq-zt0mJbwumxjiYS9r5Q/s400/home+alone5.jpg" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix8DUlOIregMqyNofJJRnJo_BCfQNPpNv5XVQBMjqngjxI0StAu8TAiJuoZPq3ZKVxcBmbMSOQlxbszUf_YpCEK2XVqxpjAU60PyzPz4mfDmNDDHUfnWs_paJq-zt0mJbwumxjiYS9r5Q/s400/home+alone5.jpg" /><br /><br />Bird Lady: "Great. I'll hang it on the bird feces encrusted pine tree I call home."<br /><br />Peter McAllister: "Kevin? YOU SPENT $967 ON ROOM SERVICE THAT I HAVE TO PAY FOR ON TOP OF UNCLE FRANK'S PLANE TICKET, ALL NATURAL AIRLINE PEANUTS, AND PAIN AND SUFFERING SETTLEMENT FOR HAVING BEEN SEEN NAKED BY YOU IN THE SHOWER?"<br /><br />Glad you guys enjoyed the last <span style="font-style: italic;">Home Alone</span> post, and hope you enjoyed this one, too. As always feel free to let me know if there are any other recaps that have to happen on this blog.<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-71129811209518285002010-12-16T06:30:00.001-05:002011-01-08T21:53:11.025-05:00Movies in a Minute: Interview with the Vampire<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmYwI9H62DNaQWcU6-7sJiTNPz397ekbp05qfsCVqBat_SW2iYIQBGZsC6YmMW8jvClZNFIJy4QATrAcj-LviU_nw6s5Y6w9t-oDMxbl7ldCGoyDeAyOlUbauDWGRBkaDRP8TohruufKw/s1600/poster.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 287px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmYwI9H62DNaQWcU6-7sJiTNPz397ekbp05qfsCVqBat_SW2iYIQBGZsC6YmMW8jvClZNFIJy4QATrAcj-LviU_nw6s5Y6w9t-oDMxbl7ldCGoyDeAyOlUbauDWGRBkaDRP8TohruufKw/s320/poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550980626834453202" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Louis: "I am a tragically beautiful vampire. You want me to tell you my life story?"<br /><br />Daniel Malloy: "That's what I do for a living. I interview people. On the radio. I'm thinking I can parlay my interview with you into making myself into a Howard Stern meets Elvira persona."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA6RFEr7Lg2PaWUXNwF2Q-X81TR3fR-pM_T2MNs40u_15Ue2eztHd7tRFxwEdUsKTcaRfZR6aOI845TObhGCWx3wDVoFWaG0sByNIIVTPS801SY7VG_v02bhLi8N24Ob3wOub9xBZT7kg/s1600/interview.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA6RFEr7Lg2PaWUXNwF2Q-X81TR3fR-pM_T2MNs40u_15Ue2eztHd7tRFxwEdUsKTcaRfZR6aOI845TObhGCWx3wDVoFWaG0sByNIIVTPS801SY7VG_v02bhLi8N24Ob3wOub9xBZT7kg/s320/interview.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550789627710833650" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Louis: "Shall we begin like <span style="font-style: italic;">David Copperfield</span>? I am born, I grew up? Or, instead, shall we find a convenient way of reducing this film to about two hours by instead beginning with the year I was born to darkness? I was deeply depressed because of the death of my wife and son in childbirth. And then a vampire came to me, and..."<br /><br />Malloy: "Bit your neck and turned you into a vampire?"<br /><br />Louis: "Like Charlotte on season one of Sex and the City referring to copulation as "lovemaking," we prefer to call vampirism <span style="font-style: italic;">the dark gift</span>."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifk611WapTx7fAerPtNZnX8ZVaf80jRVaO27Rfy2NLAG2j2WTeQMlS46COgkUwoQoYIcjPaehSExtYassi49oB7XZUd3ENNudTU4HxqTBNop6QhwEQhfDS7rR3pegooREXjRH-kgsw2ks/s1600/louis+lestat+bite.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifk611WapTx7fAerPtNZnX8ZVaf80jRVaO27Rfy2NLAG2j2WTeQMlS46COgkUwoQoYIcjPaehSExtYassi49oB7XZUd3ENNudTU4HxqTBNop6QhwEQhfDS7rR3pegooREXjRH-kgsw2ks/s320/louis+lestat+bite.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550980112318718242" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lestat: "I'm going to give you the choice I never had. Want the marble coffin or the onyx? Now, Louis. You must feed!"<br /><br />Louis: "Oh. Uh. Er. Got any TruBlood?"<br /><br />Lestat: "Wuss."<br /><br />Louis: "<span style="font-style: italic;">I longed to know more, learn about my vampire heritage. But Lestat didn't want to indulge in my angst. I thought of leaving him, but Lestat, like an undead Kato Kaelin, liked hanging around and feeding off my wealth. So after I fed off a little girl, he turned her into a vampire so I wouldn't leave."</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I-X41X1NonzEmQ1Rt2L5nbOkGp4IweVaK55YIHCBKrgnP3IVcfJkD-SgQZpCaW_4latST2UVVZCa8u7vvjhmgIahS_Ref40HG94OJmmR2DT4EhZcBB_YytVpqlxXa8yo-zA34BtbjhM/s1600/claudia.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0I-X41X1NonzEmQ1Rt2L5nbOkGp4IweVaK55YIHCBKrgnP3IVcfJkD-SgQZpCaW_4latST2UVVZCa8u7vvjhmgIahS_Ref40HG94OJmmR2DT4EhZcBB_YytVpqlxXa8yo-zA34BtbjhM/s320/claudia.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550789406716508274" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Claudia: "I'm hungry! Please sir, I want some more."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAMpThAMe0Bsr0L3HabEJcMmbX6_y-aylk8Bzt8iIDM7nBhRwhmOveOxsUl_UW-tDlhCtlgPh4EDzuy6GyWZb7lGoTfAI6b-VAW166yUsnaArZEMtJl5slvndj5wfl8u37DbE2CCRs1RQ/s1600/vampire+family.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 275px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAMpThAMe0Bsr0L3HabEJcMmbX6_y-aylk8Bzt8iIDM7nBhRwhmOveOxsUl_UW-tDlhCtlgPh4EDzuy6GyWZb7lGoTfAI6b-VAW166yUsnaArZEMtJl5slvndj5wfl8u37DbE2CCRs1RQ/s320/vampire+family.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550789625368082786" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lestat: "Look, Louis! Claudia. Our own little vampire daughter. We're one big happy family."<br /><br />Sadako: "How is the Christian right rioting over poor Tango and not saying boo about this?"<br /><br />Louis: "<span style="font-style: italic;">To me, Claudia was a child. A child with whom I spooned nightly in a coffin."</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgglNnj9VEwCXjggxnDRwa98UEVvFr1BBImf0xjeTqQymsXAkVff9mFbf9cnPPMBGiiPXyTRsBB4yAGo7rBkgD1PpBr2lH8AIaKqEUkhQdSYL_K0UoAkyU4nbc6dohRBTaV-fZdHHcuCf8/s1600/claudia+louis+coffin.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgglNnj9VEwCXjggxnDRwa98UEVvFr1BBImf0xjeTqQymsXAkVff9mFbf9cnPPMBGiiPXyTRsBB4yAGo7rBkgD1PpBr2lH8AIaKqEUkhQdSYL_K0UoAkyU4nbc6dohRBTaV-fZdHHcuCf8/s320/claudia+louis+coffin.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550951228743838690" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span>Michael Jackson: "What a glowing testament to fatherhood!"</span><br /><br /><span>Louis:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> "But to Lestat, she was a prodigy, a cold blooded killer. And to Hollywood, she was the prototype for Hit Girl, Let the Right One In, Ringu<span style="font-style: italic;">, and hundreds of other evil little girl movies.</span></span> <span style="font-style: italic;">But t</span><span style="font-style: italic;">hirty years had passed and Claudia still had the body of a child. Her eyes alone told the hidden story..."</span><br /><br />Claudia: "I'll never go through puberty! I'll never become sexy! I'll never be able to dance about in 19th century garb with my cleavage on display! I want more! I want the chance to star in a slow paced period piece with a bustle and corset that emphasizes my womanly physique!"<br /><br />Sofia Coppola: "Just wait a few more years..."<br /><br />Claudia: "You did this to us! You! Let's kill Lestat! Here, Lestat, I brought you two little boys drunk on brandywine. Feast!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjifgYhIigREdMGY2Q6fK3sgxkYzQIZVCEAK4mZ-NwYXgTJniUKClLXndHWHf_dRRMXXn2hSrSa59JHalYr-3QQ2uhXfn0Vsnc_sQxu0wByQ006JnoC1eQvsmhJs_7I9QBZj_L0BfY_ma8/s1600/little+bys.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjifgYhIigREdMGY2Q6fK3sgxkYzQIZVCEAK4mZ-NwYXgTJniUKClLXndHWHf_dRRMXXn2hSrSa59JHalYr-3QQ2uhXfn0Vsnc_sQxu0wByQ006JnoC1eQvsmhJs_7I9QBZj_L0BfY_ma8/s320/little+bys.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550788788426529666" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lestat: "Mmm. I love the taste of offending middlebrow America..."<br /><br />Claudia: "Psych. They were already dead. And now you will be, too!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg77IZmne6G6Uq9SuJROM6U_B1gNLdIaxRXcaex9oTI-Bq_bkTBQ7RjfgTY3uIOwDsN-gm4ZTtj4KKwdiFdbTNIV3-Xj9Si-PiRtbFiFw1N3brqVSL_Y4ieQH3-s4YPjlaRRQgJXzDMksM/s1600/lestat+dying.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg77IZmne6G6Uq9SuJROM6U_B1gNLdIaxRXcaex9oTI-Bq_bkTBQ7RjfgTY3uIOwDsN-gm4ZTtj4KKwdiFdbTNIV3-Xj9Si-PiRtbFiFw1N3brqVSL_Y4ieQH3-s4YPjlaRRQgJXzDMksM/s320/lestat+dying.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550789972465735506" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lestat: "Noo...."<br /><br />Louis: "Claudia, I don't know about this..."<br /><br />Cesar Milan: "Rules, boundaries, and limitations!"<br /><br />Claudia: "Let's dump Lestat in the swamp. Now we can go to Paris and learn about our vampire heritage!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2bLvmYFvA9gh3LHpTZNOfvucBEq1om7aJYB3HFvzZ2bIfor_llWBfvllUqTSWenmu7vV4Dlyc8DBOKjwWpEUDaNhweIaHkzsexQJM10bu-Nvcw582D4AmVez7KUXuPLLn-p6sj1NxCs4/s1600/lestat+back.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2bLvmYFvA9gh3LHpTZNOfvucBEq1om7aJYB3HFvzZ2bIfor_llWBfvllUqTSWenmu7vV4Dlyc8DBOKjwWpEUDaNhweIaHkzsexQJM10bu-Nvcw582D4AmVez7KUXuPLLn-p6sj1NxCs4/s320/lestat+back.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550788945622735698" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lestat: "I'm back! I feasted on reptile blood in the swamp!"<br /><br />Sadako: "Suddenly Nicole's prosthetic nose in <span style="font-style: italic;">The Hours</span> seems a lot less brave..."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9RtWOsDNKWSSpSFSxgJ2gkD6STx_sM8nqG1zOQ3vG_3JauZqvImS0euA3YqF3LXKcBFM2Og7r1ofb1kZ3fO8jOdnLz1olhERnBayZiTFbN33guY6peKR-eeOCBMEHqgDq6zCRlnRXQHg/s1600/burning+up.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9RtWOsDNKWSSpSFSxgJ2gkD6STx_sM8nqG1zOQ3vG_3JauZqvImS0euA3YqF3LXKcBFM2Og7r1ofb1kZ3fO8jOdnLz1olhERnBayZiTFbN33guY6peKR-eeOCBMEHqgDq6zCRlnRXQHg/s320/burning+up.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550789407612091090" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Louis: "He's hideous. New plan. Let's burn him alive, run screaming into the night, and then go learn about our vampire heritage."<br /><br />Claudia: "Isn't Paris wonderful, Louis?"<br /><br />Louis: "<span style="font-style: italic;">But no vampires were to be found in the Old World, no matter how hard I looked. And so it was when I gave up my search for another vampire that one finally found me.</span>"<br /><br />Patti Stanger: "It's like I always say. Even the undead can smell desperation a mile away."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizyp-U-AoxeR2Uktf27yInOqxoyNEsHoZwfJTBPTeCWidmZ3hzMaFvdh4Bs07a6DO2ZcJdCo8rE_ihUjb0kdboeTt1ZxTTPxSDCv3qNqFpChE7L_YDyb8Efz7QKpC3PL7DwM-TJAWtUws/s1600/armand.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizyp-U-AoxeR2Uktf27yInOqxoyNEsHoZwfJTBPTeCWidmZ3hzMaFvdh4Bs07a6DO2ZcJdCo8rE_ihUjb0kdboeTt1ZxTTPxSDCv3qNqFpChE7L_YDyb8Efz7QKpC3PL7DwM-TJAWtUws/s320/armand.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550788786009091634" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Armand: "Hello. Take my, how you say? Ah, yes. Card. Come to Theatre des Vampire. Bring the little one, too. We put on plays where we kill and feast upon the living for a human audience. We like to think we're pioneering reality theatre."<br /><br />Louis: "Can you tell me more about our heritage and what it really means to be a vampire? And could you possibly cast off my human name, Louis, and give me a more fitting vampire name? There's no way Ann's going to write a human sequel called <span style="font-style: italic;">The Vampire Louis</span>."<br /><br />Armand: "If by all that you mean ogle you and smile suggestively...then...yes. Oh, and by the way, I know the plot is getting dull again, so it's against our code to kill another vampire, and we know about Lestat. How, you ask? We can read minds."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1dkdMlfTQgsKiAjg2YzCCb_BJ4CVOwCtKTxmOkm2eczdIUe8WwbwveOeiTDVsxJpAzRQAd5jIMHgWpg3_EXh3HS2n86pzVD_IinHUfDCIjIIvUMmSO_5n2ro8QRdRBFI9v0UbLvvzBW4/s1600/claudia+and+louis+goodbye.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 318px; height: 231px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1dkdMlfTQgsKiAjg2YzCCb_BJ4CVOwCtKTxmOkm2eczdIUe8WwbwveOeiTDVsxJpAzRQAd5jIMHgWpg3_EXh3HS2n86pzVD_IinHUfDCIjIIvUMmSO_5n2ro8QRdRBFI9v0UbLvvzBW4/s320/claudia+and+louis+goodbye.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550976570480912482" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Claudia: "You would leave me for Armand if he beckoned you!"<br /><br />Louis: "I would never leave you. And if I did, I'd be extra angsty about it."<br /><br />Other Vampires: "You killed Lestat! Preapre to die! The little one will be left outside to scorch in the sun, and you will be locked in a box for all eternity just in time for Armand to save you."<br /><br />Louis: "Claudia! No!"<br /><br />Armand: "Sorry about Claudia. You want to come upstairs and look at my, how you say? Ah yes. Etchings?"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNPZOHvJZzJOf44_3EuvQUntM05LKtleMISD9HpiOK0HWhm7dKDJCuxkz9Ah9A4n-oKs9ElpqjqfOAKYUAaMnFi7KdbOM7rZ9V755MzdAIXYPNPkZv07BLE9ccsqm-q46ir3JzFubkbbU/s1600/kill+vampires.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 245px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNPZOHvJZzJOf44_3EuvQUntM05LKtleMISD9HpiOK0HWhm7dKDJCuxkz9Ah9A4n-oKs9ElpqjqfOAKYUAaMnFi7KdbOM7rZ9V755MzdAIXYPNPkZv07BLE9ccsqm-q46ir3JzFubkbbU/s320/kill+vampires.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550977429933223602" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Louis: "<span style="font-style: italic;">That night, I took my revenge. I set fire to the vampire lair. When I was finished, all but Armand were dead. Also, I had established my reputation as the Uncle Tom of vampires."</span><br /><br />Armand: "Come. Stay with me. You are perfection. The embodiment of our tragic century! I will teach you to be...how you say? Ah yes...without regret."<br /><br />Louis: "No. All I have is my suffering. My regret. And a homosexual vampire relationship just doesn't have the shocking social stigma as a relationship with a seven year old girl vampire. Sorry."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBNFmcN1hQ08FjZcQV2xklJIY5LJvmUqYz9cPMBUZdBNXBUpAvFMz7P-CE2sS23zArVRoG39bob_s8fk1CARsqEqGVB8CoudoyOsSyJaHpWzJ_atar36ytHwU9YABkcsTonFqrSUsem4g/s1600/louis+and+armand.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBNFmcN1hQ08FjZcQV2xklJIY5LJvmUqYz9cPMBUZdBNXBUpAvFMz7P-CE2sS23zArVRoG39bob_s8fk1CARsqEqGVB8CoudoyOsSyJaHpWzJ_atar36ytHwU9YABkcsTonFqrSUsem4g/s320/louis+and+armand.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550976567089310178" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Armand: "How you say? Ah yes. Good bye, Louis."<br /><br />Louis: "<span style="font-style: italic;">I went back to New Orleans. Things changed. Then it became the new century, and I got to go to movies to be exposed to things that I couldn't experience as a vampire, like sunrises and non-stilted conversation. I'm debating buying a Betamax. Oh, and I saw Lestat again."<br /></span><span><br />Mall</span><span>oy:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><span>"But...how...?"<br /><br />Sadako: "Enough Louis/Lestat fanfic writers slit their wrists and said they do believe?"<br /></span><br />Lestat: "Louis! Stay with me, don't leave me! I can't bear the new world. All these lights. And the price of frozen blood. Oh, Louis, you're as beautiful and enchanting as ever."<br /><br />Louis: "Well, that's it."<br /><br />Malloy: "Brilliant! Now make me a vampire, too! I want to be your companion of the night, like Lestat and Armand."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5pxHi_73hsmnksApXyTKlbOtn_IaAoJPBZv7MZQsdtbYTGqJtNO8OWwGZB9ceCb7RgkPSFpA8n2S8Sj5xH27FYWIxknhQllFK_6kT86Xv0HpuZtXORrzYocOt9XnS02_y9U3aZeOdjJA/s1600/louis+malloy+attacking.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5pxHi_73hsmnksApXyTKlbOtn_IaAoJPBZv7MZQsdtbYTGqJtNO8OWwGZB9ceCb7RgkPSFpA8n2S8Sj5xH27FYWIxknhQllFK_6kT86Xv0HpuZtXORrzYocOt9XnS02_y9U3aZeOdjJA/s320/louis+malloy+attacking.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550978816323805842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Louis: "Silly boy. I'm out of your league. Now go start a Weezer tribute band and get these thoughts of vampires out of your head."<br /><br />Malloy: "Back to playing Magic the Gathering and crying. Holy crap, another vampire!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0tVhZUg31Z6TV1e2ceH1MQr2R4bmXfDI3ZjEDwBdIt_egetRuKICjZhBz-r41A54LnCvNlJrMtnQR1zFdufSpb3v72DSNGvSr5ojE2wlN7cZGj0M58mMtrMod9BrwClj0_csACQdco0Y/s1600/louis+end.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 190px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0tVhZUg31Z6TV1e2ceH1MQr2R4bmXfDI3ZjEDwBdIt_egetRuKICjZhBz-r41A54LnCvNlJrMtnQR1zFdufSpb3v72DSNGvSr5ojE2wlN7cZGj0M58mMtrMod9BrwClj0_csACQdco0Y/s320/louis+end.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550979510918437122" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Lestat: "For no real remotely logical or plausible reason at all other other than the fact that I'm Ann Rice's Mary Sue, hereeee's Lestat. I'm going to give you the choice I never had."<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-27320044907601966612010-12-13T11:30:00.010-05:002011-02-01T17:41:20.199-05:00Movies in a Minute: Sex and the City 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgbo4AZf_E-mtQkRMX2KDnWJkgpsm1QhbuYE-Y32Etmqm0qdQ3r33WJEjN2m1NoF5W_EJgSMmVxt6OPnVuCBMQ215e0B_XideaQphC0xon-yd0piuzq1Iu2Tp5r2SehIHhpMeCtCkociE/s1600/movie+poster.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgbo4AZf_E-mtQkRMX2KDnWJkgpsm1QhbuYE-Y32Etmqm0qdQ3r33WJEjN2m1NoF5W_EJgSMmVxt6OPnVuCBMQ215e0B_XideaQphC0xon-yd0piuzq1Iu2Tp5r2SehIHhpMeCtCkociE/s320/movie+poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548164558826856818" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Carrie: "Time for Stanford and Anthony's wedding!"<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Charlotte: "My gay male accessory is marrying <span style="font-style: italic;">her</span> gay male accessory."<br /><br />Carrie: "And there are gonna be swans, show tunes, Liza Minnelli officiating, and everything else we could find in Fred Phelps' big book of nightmares."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKici29lmkvf60g30xomHz30tQZOrwaTK-ceciJNFIVzrVOFco0LvT2vzcKqZwL0oYDEa_YivRnpEhtlpjLyzmoHKLXfhuJXC63wHNPVeqRRG3ON2-ntQ19EYWhSbYqd3PNkNCBD77BFY/s1600/wedding+ceremony.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 124px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKici29lmkvf60g30xomHz30tQZOrwaTK-ceciJNFIVzrVOFco0LvT2vzcKqZwL0oYDEa_YivRnpEhtlpjLyzmoHKLXfhuJXC63wHNPVeqRRG3ON2-ntQ19EYWhSbYqd3PNkNCBD77BFY/s320/wedding+ceremony.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548160483351578338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Anthony: "Stanford. When we first met, it was hate at first sight. But since then, Michael Patrick King refused to write any more gay male characters, so it was you or that walk on extra from the Bitchy Bingo episode."<br /><br />Charlotte: "Aw. Gay people can be <span style="font-style: italic;">so</span> sweet!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9cDXkptWb7t-EviM4NRnYym0BDonBQhl1W-wEvZDbl8HvmtsQ_mQHFamzKRlbWi_lipne7RCuLK_5WrX_G_8RjBxBNWbgtlVYkd7FoRSKY-hzY3Rr9BC3KHhmveQ6LiaACZt7hb9OAc/s1600/liza.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9cDXkptWb7t-EviM4NRnYym0BDonBQhl1W-wEvZDbl8HvmtsQ_mQHFamzKRlbWi_lipne7RCuLK_5WrX_G_8RjBxBNWbgtlVYkd7FoRSKY-hzY3Rr9BC3KHhmveQ6LiaACZt7hb9OAc/s320/liza.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548160478970117474" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Liza Minnelli: "<span style="font-style: italic;">All the single ladies! All the single ladies!</span>"<br /><br />Sadako: "Between this and what happened to Brook Astor, someone needs to create an Association for the Exploitation of Rich Old Lady Icons."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4gVu9sWJkwXL7bMQN3zFGHdfxzvI_Evt1UDZceVNaTUTyZAw4WQQzdFhwSjGOW5eiB2b1Lukx7YKT85hNdGVpz_zrc5G1gU4Mwh3cDYRckQZ1TFMQczCW2elv2wwQZugMxZqo0VO9Ro/s1600/big+reading+paper.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 281px; height: 186px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4gVu9sWJkwXL7bMQN3zFGHdfxzvI_Evt1UDZceVNaTUTyZAw4WQQzdFhwSjGOW5eiB2b1Lukx7YKT85hNdGVpz_zrc5G1gU4Mwh3cDYRckQZ1TFMQczCW2elv2wwQZugMxZqo0VO9Ro/s320/big+reading+paper.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548163955557797218" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Mr. Big: "Carrie, I bought you a big screen TV for our anniversary. I was thinking we could stay in and watch a timeless black and white movie. I picked up some food from the new Japanese place on Madison."<br /><br />Carrie: "How could you?! Get thee behind me, take out containers! I'm going to my old apartment to write."<br /><br />Mr. Big: "That was nice. Why don't we take two days off every week since it worked out so well last time."<br /><br />Carrie: "I'm the only one allowed to have diva like demands! How could you even ask me that?!"<br /><br />Mr. Big: "I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time being boorish enough to create enough conflict for a feature length film, but not so obnoxious the audience won't cheer when we sail off into marital bliss at the end."<br /><br />Charlotte: "I hate my life! The baby I've wanted for years <span style="font-style: italic;">cries</span>. The cute adopted Asian kid who represents how open minded and progressive I am doesn't understand how not to get cupcake icing on my outfit..."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinRY21-IADFldP7fFk5l4vUTIYy26115XEdme_QRXpkcw6j0BvBddki6kgwlEmlkLHDBmCVg26TTmvM0l4OCr2sYa126ks63TCD1kozzMfO8Y-aUItjeXjfX8gk-ISKCzDUAQCnzEpw8E/s1600/nanny.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 291px; height: 288px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinRY21-IADFldP7fFk5l4vUTIYy26115XEdme_QRXpkcw6j0BvBddki6kgwlEmlkLHDBmCVg26TTmvM0l4OCr2sYa126ks63TCD1kozzMfO8Y-aUItjeXjfX8gk-ISKCzDUAQCnzEpw8E/s320/nanny.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548160690111622018" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Charlotte: "...And my Irish nanny doesn't have the good grace to be dumpy and middle aged."<br /><br />Miranda: "Well, I've got to try to balance my hectic work life and my family obligations. Again."<br /><br />Samantha: "An Arabian sheik has invited us on an all expenses paid trip to Abu Dhabi! The SATC girls are going to the UAE!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhezvM1EISpYA663l-p4PwNbh-4B9Q0VsnE65cJz8ENLx2GuN_bsMCv_oBhP0A-y9iU1eRO7fpWQ0AqQ7pEntixNYgxTtyCNtwFl9kDFi6RPmQaU0h3k0vVLMuAQFlNgD2Vj3YbfdgnPxM/s1600/airplane+sam+carrie.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhezvM1EISpYA663l-p4PwNbh-4B9Q0VsnE65cJz8ENLx2GuN_bsMCv_oBhP0A-y9iU1eRO7fpWQ0AqQ7pEntixNYgxTtyCNtwFl9kDFi6RPmQaU0h3k0vVLMuAQFlNgD2Vj3YbfdgnPxM/s320/airplane+sam+carrie.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548163940188705058" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Michael Patrick King: "Insert the Emirates Airline promotional information. And someone make a sheik/chic pun before the plane lands!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAIJaO0PnexEwpxJg3imqK8EedS7JCStSy82X24vMxTWhRgdrdPvCeMdFjHJeitJXFV5aNqYG10n3qVqMtokZA0xkusEah4SSZteG3rDs7Ih6qj4y8uPzYken8HFm276tjEm2PqocpqY/s1600/butlers.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 203px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAIJaO0PnexEwpxJg3imqK8EedS7JCStSy82X24vMxTWhRgdrdPvCeMdFjHJeitJXFV5aNqYG10n3qVqMtokZA0xkusEah4SSZteG3rDs7Ih6qj4y8uPzYken8HFm276tjEm2PqocpqY/s320/butlers.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548164343591511522" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Butler Guarau: "Hello, miss. I'll be your butler and the reminder to the audience that you still know how to connect with the little people."<br /><br />Carrie: "Nice!"<br /><br />Aiden: "Carrie? It's me!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjysDfmu9qVMHR2YKkbAAgjGUjN6kGDYjh8hsXeLuxeM-PX6P7QVpzckAzhesFOeU4XzUjTejLryMRR3tHpZfGFg6gQ3McTY4VIVgeSvZ0ABZ-a1M7RZMLS_nlHabmdq3RWwsA_lEaas5c/s1600/aiden+carrie+market.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 224px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjysDfmu9qVMHR2YKkbAAgjGUjN6kGDYjh8hsXeLuxeM-PX6P7QVpzckAzhesFOeU4XzUjTejLryMRR3tHpZfGFg6gQ3McTY4VIVgeSvZ0ABZ-a1M7RZMLS_nlHabmdq3RWwsA_lEaas5c/s320/aiden+carrie+market.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548163930626046818" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Carrie: "What are you doing here?"<br /><br />Aiden: "Baryshnikov wouldn't come back and Ron Livingston's shooting <span style="font-style: italic;">Dinner for Schmucks</span>. Let's have dinner."<br /><br />Carrie: "I got a bad review of my book in the <span style="font-style: italic;">New Yorker</span>."<br /><br />Samantha: "Screw that. Men are just threatened every time we show we have a voice. Just like the women here in their burqas."<br /><br />Miranda: "Or my asshole boss who never let me finish a sentence."<br /><br />Carrie: "Guarau, marriage is so hard, isn't it?"<br /><br />Guarau: "I only see my wife once every three months when I scrape up enough of my wages to go back to India."<br /><br />Carrie: "It must be so meaningful when you do see each other! I guess my marriage is in good shape! Okay, now do you have a mystical, Eastern flavored way of making Big's unwillingness to spoon in bed seem justified?"<br /><br />Charlotte: "It's really hard being a mom."<br /><br />Miranda: "Definitely. There's a lot we have to sacrifice. Work. Luncheons with the girls. Vacation with the girls limited to only once every two years."<br /><br />Charlotte: "How do the women without help do it?!"<br /><br />Miranda: "To the women who do it without help! Assuming they didn't give themselves an injury eye rolling when you had a panic attack after your daughter smeared icing on your Valentino skirt."<br /><br />Aiden: "Carrie, you look amazing." *smooch*<br /><br />Carrie: "No...this is a mistake."<br /><br />Adrian Monk: "Wait, are you sure you can't sleep with him? The way you slept with Mr. Big when you dated Aiden? It'll make it even. Trust me. You'll thank me later."<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipLmpbVdHjTPSNa9_JCk2WTmb4TuKqQrNgw76NHtaxUpXvlRL1lZ2OKhIprDVvdFldkohk8D1gyngaggCCbUQBvgcHF2L8-Um1CMIIegJ9A4gK5nKy_aL63ihgu_PQcT7bxDkg_ZzOo9k/s1600/rikard.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 207px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipLmpbVdHjTPSNa9_JCk2WTmb4TuKqQrNgw76NHtaxUpXvlRL1lZ2OKhIprDVvdFldkohk8D1gyngaggCCbUQBvgcHF2L8-Um1CMIIegJ9A4gK5nKy_aL63ihgu_PQcT7bxDkg_ZzOo9k/s320/rikard.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550783607036038050" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Rikard Spurt: "I love the Middle East. Whenever I come here, everything's so covered up and there are so many sexual taboos, that it's so much more erotic."<br /><br />Sadako: "For a fraction of the price, you could go to an FLDS compound in Utah."<br /><br />Samantha: "Speaking of getting turned on..."<br /><br />Carrie: "Miranda, Samantha's been arrested! Conservative Abu Dhabi just doesn't understand our needs and wants."<br /><br />Miranda: "For god's sake, how many times do we have to sing <span style="font-style: italic;">I Am Woman</span> before you men understand?"<br /><br />Samantha: "Great, our free hotel service just ended. Ugh! New Middle East my ass! I'm beginning to see just why Garfield threatening to send Nermal here was such a big deal. We're out of here."<br /><br />Carrie: "I lost my passport! We've got to go to the market <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> get to the airport in time so we can still fly first class!"<br /><br />Strange Middle Eastern Man: "Would you like to step into my seedy backroom to buy a Rolex?"<br /><br />Charlotte: "Okay!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRWTkT2cerAKKUCWUH81Nd4lLwQfZqMO8triNPQj5cKiDyz-bbAsNsYyV2bUoLLGp87kHexQdSogWrCbKwiR1M0-Tce4ZI-GFpgJ2_HNbb4BnAyk57zAjh8eXaD0TvANphZ4RwwtCE4Q/s1600/samantha+sex.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 275px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRWTkT2cerAKKUCWUH81Nd4lLwQfZqMO8triNPQj5cKiDyz-bbAsNsYyV2bUoLLGp87kHexQdSogWrCbKwiR1M0-Tce4ZI-GFpgJ2_HNbb4BnAyk57zAjh8eXaD0TvANphZ4RwwtCE4Q/s320/samantha+sex.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548160694110480770" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Samantha: "I HAVE SEX!"<br /><br />Carrie: "We're in trouble, and I don't see any street urchins voiced by Scott Weinger with anthropomorphic monkeys to save us."<br /><br />Middle Eastern Woman #1: "In here! We're going to help you!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdaivmGkVBXQN4xkBt5hZLbflJO5G66BZZL6Usn-Qk2lCSSJCTe6XuNx9qrOH9HI0ApiFYpc6y8xpEIAptyCgbKkY82lNF08ey_LQfuXaqV4P0pO11cc_Vj82HHV5nWlY6FhbckGrm2Fo/s1600/flash+burqa.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 187px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdaivmGkVBXQN4xkBt5hZLbflJO5G66BZZL6Usn-Qk2lCSSJCTe6XuNx9qrOH9HI0ApiFYpc6y8xpEIAptyCgbKkY82lNF08ey_LQfuXaqV4P0pO11cc_Vj82HHV5nWlY6FhbckGrm2Fo/s320/flash+burqa.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548160477047530338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Middle Eastern Woman #2: "Also, look! Underneath our hijabs and burqas, we Arab women are just as subject to the male gaze as you New Yorkers!"<br /><br />Middle Eastern Woman #1: "Now put on these burqas and you can escape!"<br /><br />Carrie: "But how to get a cab to the airport? I know! I'll make like Claudette Colbert did in <span style="font-style: italic;">It Happened One Night</span> and lift the hem of my burqa to flash some leg!"<br /><br />Jasmine: "Come on. Really? I was pretty naive shopping for apples my first time alone in the marketplace at Agrabah and even I handled myself better than you guys."<br /><br />Carrie: "<span style="font-style: italic;">Back in New York, Mr. Big didn't even pick me up at the airport after I told him I kissed my ex boyfriend."</span><br /><br />Mr. Big: "Hi."<br /><br />Carrie: "Where were you?!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4WMOLuMIDqXv1KWKwug1c2y_VTUPqVmeyVTYtT-UWnmX5zagc2hpEecdN0H9gzwEF9h8o3ePVFxcOK0_UQV4VzoXl2YOsziEVSFdDpk2BXnpuGDr4PnjjtMJxtdi-44-EcMHDjFNnYW0/s1600/big+carrie+end.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4WMOLuMIDqXv1KWKwug1c2y_VTUPqVmeyVTYtT-UWnmX5zagc2hpEecdN0H9gzwEF9h8o3ePVFxcOK0_UQV4VzoXl2YOsziEVSFdDpk2BXnpuGDr4PnjjtMJxtdi-44-EcMHDjFNnYW0/s320/big+carrie+end.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548164439154618146" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Mr. Big: "As a punishment for what you did, I'm not getting you any jewelry that evokes <span style="font-style: italic;">Breakfast at Tiffany's</span> or old New York. Instead, you get a plain black diamond."<br /><br />Carrie: "Black? Because it's the color of my soul?"<br /><br />Mr. Big: "No, because De Beers accidentally ordered a few hundred black diamonds in stock that they really need to make move this summer."<br /><br />Carrie: "<span style="font-style: italic;">As for the rest of the gang, Miranda got a new, empowering job, Samantha continues her lonely role as the sole SATC girl who exemplifies living life as a gay man in the body of a woman, and Charlotte found out that her hot nanny, apparently out on loan from the set of </span><span style="font-style: italic;">Friends</span><span style="font-style: italic;">, prefers other hot nannies</span>."<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimID59ycC5oxQFlp1QnIWlRK1UfMf7RChAZaWK9k8CPDs8HS1T2gpGg9tkCnZ7a7_mL11bCkIB5qXYShrGTQUHOlNhb2y94X9AwtprEKloZy5Gx2h0h-vCSaJTVBqb2AR7IRzlpN2YJfi7/s1600/american+apparel+nail+polish.jpg"><br /></a></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-81788748820544579442010-12-09T11:30:00.001-05:002010-12-10T10:00:10.109-05:00Lessons I Learned from the Babysitters Club, Part II<div style="text-align: justify;"><span>Part II of what I learned from the BSC!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kristy and the Baby Parade</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeFHdjqX435i-O0lX_q3EmotFR3JdYBNZ0Muj2rEHSnexM-Yo2k9ezHT9yLJwoe5v-RPNjRzkDL1HPkjWhIVRmVX3Dt9Z_xDUjUljP7JUmTjtboYhoUrJXEnF6kYmehgcWVm6XboykLdw/s1600/kristy+baby+parade.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 312px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeFHdjqX435i-O0lX_q3EmotFR3JdYBNZ0Muj2rEHSnexM-Yo2k9ezHT9yLJwoe5v-RPNjRzkDL1HPkjWhIVRmVX3Dt9Z_xDUjUljP7JUmTjtboYhoUrJXEnF6kYmehgcWVm6XboykLdw/s320/kristy+baby+parade.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548156962857642930" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: The town of Stoneybrook holds a baby parade. The girls decide on a theme and borrow some babies. But when they start fighting, will they ruin their chances of winning?<br /><br />Lessons learned: I like to think that you can tell a lot about the personality of kids from what they buy. The BSC fans looking over their Scholastic book lists and begging for this one instead of, say, <span style="font-style: italic;">Stacey's Lie</span> or <span style="font-style: italic;">Dawn's Big Date</span> are the ones you have to worry about. (Another good test? If they were more interested in saving their money to buy an exquisite Ann M. Martin approved tea cozy instead of Goosebumps pogs and Creepy Crawlers.)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Welcome to the BSC, Abby</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWIokGTGjmQ4vyMx8lNLvrVzlVJJOBAcJBNpHAE0oxGvmMxGmQT_FnN32yZ8eucmO8aaSaLZ6d5joTWqvevMFfJd9sCvjA5McfrQGf6M8P2LM9bUj4n9vavQs-MGkufkVWgQQ1yoktroE/s1600/welcome+to+the+bsc.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWIokGTGjmQ4vyMx8lNLvrVzlVJJOBAcJBNpHAE0oxGvmMxGmQT_FnN32yZ8eucmO8aaSaLZ6d5joTWqvevMFfJd9sCvjA5McfrQGf6M8P2LM9bUj4n9vavQs-MGkufkVWgQQ1yoktroE/s320/welcome+to+the+bsc.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548157464964686306" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: The BSC has a new member! Meet Abby Stevenson. She's Jewish, has long curly hair, plays soccer, tells a barrage of nonstop corny jokes, and suffers from asthma.<br /><br />Lessons learned: Ann M. managed to cram in two Asian stereotypes (Asian airhead for Claudia and super smart Asian for Janine), the cliche of jock girls not being into boys or makeup, the California blonde one, and a few others. Should I really be all that surprised that the token Jewish girl is Woody Allen lite?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kristy and the Copycat</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjnhbks48ghH679MkyrLryvrAI3iXdz5kpJ8AAmfY7xDk0R27gihSvcmyE-hVsd-VoeT3Wwf2ZVvaYtuO7wzktnefNcNQrGl8nr33ZEo8p63p3hWDrgo9m7nH99UaCmbBwV661hpLDOAE/s1600/kristy+copycat.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 220px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjnhbks48ghH679MkyrLryvrAI3iXdz5kpJ8AAmfY7xDk0R27gihSvcmyE-hVsd-VoeT3Wwf2ZVvaYtuO7wzktnefNcNQrGl8nr33ZEo8p63p3hWDrgo9m7nH99UaCmbBwV661hpLDOAE/s320/kristy+copycat.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548156944582372866" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Kristy joins the softball team at school but finds herself under pressure to do things she knows are wrong as part of the hazing process.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Based on the actual plot of this book (which has little to do with Karen's copying Kristy), I think Ann M. was outsourcing more than just the actual writing of this book. If we raided Scholastic's corporation in Korea, would we find pale, emaciated writers chained to desks, coming up with tag lines and titles to books they've never actually read?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Get Well Soon, Mallory</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY_Fp6b4nM3hBtbqQTViPPSNfeVmSKhAxK3ktppJoJfA6ZQg4xrqNj2rZfF0mt3ZeASybsvcy3lLmGgrJvlk0OJcnVi0ugHmNIJHWlkx-HNujNo0tZ1Rj-NswKcgQutS_YagkvOCO-CEg/s1600/get+well+soon.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 203px; height: 295px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY_Fp6b4nM3hBtbqQTViPPSNfeVmSKhAxK3ktppJoJfA6ZQg4xrqNj2rZfF0mt3ZeASybsvcy3lLmGgrJvlk0OJcnVi0ugHmNIJHWlkx-HNujNo0tZ1Rj-NswKcgQutS_YagkvOCO-CEg/s320/get+well+soon.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548157182762313298" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Mallory hasn't been feeling well for a while. Turns out she has mono!<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Between Mallory's mono, Stacey's diabetes, Shea's dyslexia and Abby and Anna's various ailments, little Stephie's asthma, I blame the BSC for my hypochondria. This series was worse than a year in med school when it came to inspiring fear of development diseases.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kristy in Charge</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqzVFiP9OLPA72rinBiG1SIw_OVDnaH5QSQ3pZYRiGa_YkmCg7hLbGz4zXWFrGDrarXuOBwZ99YD_eNBPOZ34D9KaC2EKnPhOz99ERQSOgFSDwtXEmHTVYEXXRg9ppoLN7oQSXlFxQi0/s1600/kristy+in+charge.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 167px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqzVFiP9OLPA72rinBiG1SIw_OVDnaH5QSQ3pZYRiGa_YkmCg7hLbGz4zXWFrGDrarXuOBwZ99YD_eNBPOZ34D9KaC2EKnPhOz99ERQSOgFSDwtXEmHTVYEXXRg9ppoLN7oQSXlFxQi0/s320/kristy+in+charge.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548157365368752418" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: The kids at SMS are given a chance to teach a class for a week as part of the Short Takes program. Kristy has the opportunity to teach 7th grade P.E. but has to deal with the annoying Cary Reitlin.<br /><br />Between this and <span style="font-style: italic;">Stacey and the Mystery at the Mall</span>, apparently, education, experience, and certification aren't huge components of becoming an educator. I'm also starting to realize why Ann M.'s autobiography glossed over the section where she worked as a teacher.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kristy + Bart = ?</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkdL0pJYiwvS9XTIRMXjsxp1ZAitd2_DWBA5yUAiUJZmhVNt-m9xqMRaHeKkAKL8P5BFCKMJOjnBxJDrZ432Y6mtlRouhS9LkpqShUo1T8BsuJZpmhjnh06A9GOSzJj4DMErGdZ5dJwIs/s1600/kristy+bart+equals.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkdL0pJYiwvS9XTIRMXjsxp1ZAitd2_DWBA5yUAiUJZmhVNt-m9xqMRaHeKkAKL8P5BFCKMJOjnBxJDrZ432Y6mtlRouhS9LkpqShUo1T8BsuJZpmhjnh06A9GOSzJj4DMErGdZ5dJwIs/s320/kristy+bart+equals.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548157180535464850" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Kristy's always described Bart as her sort of boyfriend. But they've never had the same commitment as Mary Anne and Logan. Does Kristy want a real relationship with Bart?<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Dating, relationship, and guys are confusing for most teen girls. And the best way of conveying that confusion isn't through metaphors and interesting prose: it's through the question mark.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Claudia, Queen of the Seventh Grade</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLjzZgX7YDzd360_5wFhfbzc39KSQS5SHcWlIf63L9hApwnUQrRgwyjhNosOzULCpXav0FeiFFA6_g7fCgRfOY95qqQuIqdVGuftJHM0z2CQNwxQOCN1OGX-ec1IrU2d4zzTpFffjPeVE/s1600/claudia+queen.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLjzZgX7YDzd360_5wFhfbzc39KSQS5SHcWlIf63L9hApwnUQrRgwyjhNosOzULCpXav0FeiFFA6_g7fCgRfOY95qqQuIqdVGuftJHM0z2CQNwxQOCN1OGX-ec1IrU2d4zzTpFffjPeVE/s320/claudia+queen.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548157166609666610" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Claudia was bumped back from 8th to 7th grade a few books ago. She makes the best of things and may even be elected Queen of the Seventh Grade as part of the SMS class games.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Ann M, you're a closet <span style="font-style: italic;">Priscilla, Queen of the Desert</span> fan, aren't you? You can admit it. I won't tell anyone.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dawn and Whitney, Friends Forever</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8EyQsupBFgdfwqIr86uLq_xAh4SOjMm_XIJxNt0LZ77oYhrFwUp4kuT1-hVer39UEbF2_PeBDMfsga03FL5LlkzYs-yhyphenhyphen2SrjeL3Hm14HAIIAtWg-JNV5CyNeaD3MrwG04d0Y0RgmiXg/s1600/dawn+whitney.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 194px; height: 297px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8EyQsupBFgdfwqIr86uLq_xAh4SOjMm_XIJxNt0LZ77oYhrFwUp4kuT1-hVer39UEbF2_PeBDMfsga03FL5LlkzYs-yhyphenhyphen2SrjeL3Hm14HAIIAtWg-JNV5CyNeaD3MrwG04d0Y0RgmiXg/s320/dawn+whitney.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547815473725360866" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: While in California for a few months, Dawn meets a 12 year old girl named Whitney who has Down Syndrome. Whitney's parents ask Dawn if she'll sit for Whitney, who can't be left alone for long, but without telling Whitney (who thinks she's too old for a babysitter). When Whitney finds out Dawn's being paid to spend time with her, she's hurt. Later, when Dawn is sitting for some other kids, they disappear...but later are found at a carnival with Whitney who was trying to prove her responsibility. Later on, the We Love Kids club makes Whitney an honorary member.<br /><br /><span>Lessons Learned: The mentally challenged should be treated like everyone else. Except when they engage in light kidnapping, </span><span>we don't sound the Amber Alert--instead, we treat them to hugs and societal approval.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Super Special: California Girls!</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKThva2vgVKFLUOX2ergZTKmq66zUY93jSTmjue5BqiddrrNjieJVhb6tAe8nfWCiNDlEaZs8jZRcCW8BddIFACD9AUxJ3iyTxDrc2HwqzppEDjseMYiH4wAIGDVL3Mnji2dBRfXm4dNw/s1600/california+girls.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 223px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKThva2vgVKFLUOX2ergZTKmq66zUY93jSTmjue5BqiddrrNjieJVhb6tAe8nfWCiNDlEaZs8jZRcCW8BddIFACD9AUxJ3iyTxDrc2HwqzppEDjseMYiH4wAIGDVL3Mnji2dBRfXm4dNw/s320/california+girls.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548156945404216066" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: The BSC girls come into some money and spend it on a trip to California where they stay with Dawn's father.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Somebody out there at Scholastic has to tell Ann M. that there's more to the Beach Boys than California Girls references. Please. Someone stuff <span style="font-style: italic;">Pet Sounds</span> in her stocking this year along with kitten pincushion. Also, considering all the California Girls references, Ann M. and Scholastic should feel grateful Brian Wilson was too busy mainlining birthday cakes (and making the odd <span style="font-style: italic;">Full House</span> guest appearance) in the 80s and early 90s to get too litigious.<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-69149422163448809782010-12-06T07:50:00.003-05:002010-12-08T22:59:17.472-05:00Lessons I Learned from the Babysitters Club, Part I<div style="text-align: justify;">I've told you guys all the important things I learned from <span style="font-style: italic;">Goosebumps</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">The Twilight Zone</span>. Now, I'm tackling the BSC!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbCGwH_bFnoBUBhh6fE_ZvE7G57QbHpP4FcbVEVTh0b-WM-LOgoXWSjroCCjbQw245AF19nR9trdgfI1snBFweeNbslbL9vndXvK4lMOAy5U4V_vk4mglQAtXi5Lz4BvhGrBzgISQnfT0/s1600/phantom+phone+calls.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 220px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbCGwH_bFnoBUBhh6fE_ZvE7G57QbHpP4FcbVEVTh0b-WM-LOgoXWSjroCCjbQw245AF19nR9trdgfI1snBFweeNbslbL9vndXvK4lMOAy5U4V_vk4mglQAtXi5Lz4BvhGrBzgISQnfT0/s320/phantom+phone+calls.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547402177717159250" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Something scary is going on in Stoneybrook. A criminal is robbing houses but considerately calling to make sure that no one's home when he comes over. The girls panic--what if the Phantom Phone Caller strikes when they're babysitting?<br /><br />Lessons Learned: You can tell that Scholastic really cared about putting in back when these books came out. Even though BSC mania hadn't yet hit America, whoever came up with this title managed an alliteration even with the "ph" prefix to both words. Kudos to you, phantom book title writer!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Truth About Stacey</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYhaA3R-XKMmwn4Zt2bkYYIivB58XcJFn3plGm1kPyzKsxmLad5wcjQG6poPHUx6I7Q1fOEMe0iNrivSpc1l2BMKNkfFxTJw7S79jqbZVi1VvuJGz4F50tpDD_VGIvC5XhsAvJm-auyYA/s1600/truth+about+stacey.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYhaA3R-XKMmwn4Zt2bkYYIivB58XcJFn3plGm1kPyzKsxmLad5wcjQG6poPHUx6I7Q1fOEMe0iNrivSpc1l2BMKNkfFxTJw7S79jqbZVi1VvuJGz4F50tpDD_VGIvC5XhsAvJm-auyYA/s320/truth+about+stacey.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547402180171150162" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Stacey (still) has diabetes but her parents are having a hard time dealing with it. Also, the BSC gets some competition.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Since Ann M. already told us that Stacey had diabetes in book one, there's not much "truth" to be revealed in this book. I think this is what's known as tipping your hand too soon. That also explains why Ellen, Suzanne, Peter and the other ghostwriters are always so eager for Ann M. to take part in the weekly Scholastic poker game.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mary Anne Saves the Day</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioxOlQlv5rh5eLhVDNzMChg08a8uVpQDrznAzILOQU5Bxmhd3XxhQOBPuY9CzQzP01BdpRKOpJ8j3f-ICruBzvDy8-bykv_VrA_aFirIKjco9xzVPAyyWmuWkk-lEN0o4s8oJHtyPb_a0/s1600/mary+anne+saves+day.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 220px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioxOlQlv5rh5eLhVDNzMChg08a8uVpQDrznAzILOQU5Bxmhd3XxhQOBPuY9CzQzP01BdpRKOpJ8j3f-ICruBzvDy8-bykv_VrA_aFirIKjco9xzVPAyyWmuWkk-lEN0o4s8oJHtyPb_a0/s320/mary+anne+saves+day.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547401887608211298" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Mary Anne's father is overprotective of her: she can't stay out as late to babysit as her friends, she has to wear her hair in pigtails, and she can't even pick out her own clothes or decorate her room. But when Mary Anne shows she's matured, her father finally decides to give her the freedom she's been wanting for so long.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Much like Warren Jeffs of the FLDS, Richard Spier knew that the secret to keeping a woman oppressed lay in ensuring that she wore a humiliatingly out of place hairdo. After Mary Anne gained control over her hair, it was all over: boyfriends and the freedom to adorn her bedroom walls with all the cute kitten pictures she could lay her hands on.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jessi's Babysitter</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVx5AJFuwetx3C4vHSQSjsqbs_OxwBQzBluJ1x0eZ4hbtmxtatfMK2RbGaX1icvXXH0sqZVd0pVi0B3KxrraY1yTTVOriJKNuSu1cW1qtQ-SPGw_FKHac_Y0EybWDGA75ET2MtBAb5dTQ/s1600/jessis+sitter.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVx5AJFuwetx3C4vHSQSjsqbs_OxwBQzBluJ1x0eZ4hbtmxtatfMK2RbGaX1icvXXH0sqZVd0pVi0B3KxrraY1yTTVOriJKNuSu1cW1qtQ-SPGw_FKHac_Y0EybWDGA75ET2MtBAb5dTQ/s320/jessis+sitter.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547401878250555298" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Jessi's mother decides to go back to work so Jessi's overbearing Aunt Cecilia moves in to help out. Will Jessi and Becca be able to cope?<br /><br />Lessons Learned: The tagline for the book is <span style="font-style: italic;">Jessi doesn't need a babysitter--she is one</span>! Apparently, Liesel Von Trapp steered me wrong when she haughtily informed Maria that at sixteen she did not require a governess. In actuality, it was thirteen year old Brigitta and twelve year old Kurt who should have been the most offended.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stacey's Emergency</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGsQsU0_OG4pCv1e3_fcbPkeLn2C1Zyt0i5_IbQxYwJvcS-NBrt3fXrEZegNuVMdmNt7hYhWPSZLimzLykZdLvww6uAXJIUwI3wdFx2JKMjPd4xms6RR-zSdO6wYBjE65ekFxWE4TkU5Q/s1600/staceys+emergency.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 198px; height: 294px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGsQsU0_OG4pCv1e3_fcbPkeLn2C1Zyt0i5_IbQxYwJvcS-NBrt3fXrEZegNuVMdmNt7hYhWPSZLimzLykZdLvww6uAXJIUwI3wdFx2JKMjPd4xms6RR-zSdO6wYBjE65ekFxWE4TkU5Q/s320/staceys+emergency.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547402180861257138" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Stacey isn't feeling well. Is it her diabetes?<br /><br />Lessons Learned: If things don't go well with this Scholastic gig, illustrator Hodges Soileau could do great things in the advertising sphere specializing in products for the stressed out working mom on the go.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Welcome Back, Stacey!</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7OciP8GbEapSzmfvIn3MhEgOAehpneBjtmVu9q0A20uEtA8YlW9x5bSKYyGdCOV5AvGx3io6qoK0dy_Pwuh01ubdS5NqQ71cL51zbSizIWqqAluxUNj5UGBh5uq14BrTZk132pkXaFQA/s1600/welcome+back+stacey.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7OciP8GbEapSzmfvIn3MhEgOAehpneBjtmVu9q0A20uEtA8YlW9x5bSKYyGdCOV5AvGx3io6qoK0dy_Pwuh01ubdS5NqQ71cL51zbSizIWqqAluxUNj5UGBh5uq14BrTZk132pkXaFQA/s320/welcome+back+stacey.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547402187847636642" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Stacey's parents get a divorce. Her mother decides to return to Stoneybrook, and Stacey has to choose which parent she wants to live with. This book sets up the big question: will she return to Stoneybrook--and the BSC?<br /><br />Lessons Learned: The good people at Scholastic may have had the art of L33t speak down well before the Internet came along. (Mary Anne + 2 Many Babies? Kristy + Bart = ? Truly ahead of their time!) But they really needed to work on their sense of suspense.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Keep Out, Claudia!</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYe52VXt6NH9WpNhoNYBBQBsPRq72PI9nMYhoRRnd7GaH2-8a9nV4FSD1AnPRYJoH_mniLBpJleJxKIEG7qeNjAc3lasuTcQRTNuQ-OMD06RC5D_7ooInmSesqxK5P2KJHJcoshkcZHb0/s1600/keep+out+claudia.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 199px; height: 289px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYe52VXt6NH9WpNhoNYBBQBsPRq72PI9nMYhoRRnd7GaH2-8a9nV4FSD1AnPRYJoH_mniLBpJleJxKIEG7qeNjAc3lasuTcQRTNuQ-OMD06RC5D_7ooInmSesqxK5P2KJHJcoshkcZHb0/s320/keep+out+claudia.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547401884134700338" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Claudia babysits for a new family. The children's mother dislikes Claudia but seems to like most of the other sitters. The BSC soon suspects that their new clients are racist.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: For all her love of adolescents with blonde hair and blue eyes, deep down, I think Ann M. never much cared for <span style="font-style: italic;">Flowers in the Attic</span>. I like to think that this book, in which a bunch of Dollanganger dopplegangers exhibit bigotry, is her little V.C. Andrews send up.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mallory Hates Boys (and Gym)</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo85oQJnWO7NLtCjpsnPIBcD-9J3-HOxV_Q6LY7HM1g4pQZvpvJ0XcOUC8CJUHID3jc9uH-9U_gc5rkYFXNfwlsD6AzaarIDM0s4IWjqIFXBVU6OgtOZMM8RikysIYIhjhS_6e4LX3adg/s1600/mallory+hates+boys.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 217px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo85oQJnWO7NLtCjpsnPIBcD-9J3-HOxV_Q6LY7HM1g4pQZvpvJ0XcOUC8CJUHID3jc9uH-9U_gc5rkYFXNfwlsD6AzaarIDM0s4IWjqIFXBVU6OgtOZMM8RikysIYIhjhS_6e4LX3adg/s320/mallory+hates+boys.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5547401888209440754" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Mallory hates boys. And gym. No false advertising here, folks.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Scholastic's mastery of punctuation leaves something to be desired. Sorry, Scholastic. Putting in a parenthetical phrase doesn't make this title cute or whimsical. Now, consider a strike through or an exclamation mark, and this might become a little more marketable.</div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-63153018733308078382010-12-02T11:30:00.000-05:002010-12-02T11:46:22.314-05:00Lessons I Learned From the Twilight Zone, Part IIPart II of what I learned from watching the Twilight Zone.<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Night of the Meek</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFyrmpUC4Z0A0C3hGxc-fTeoAiKrcuwEbLStYyZKeRtWBSk_cBL8nz1lqqL9gF8DWpD_B_iwayHbUFyotZnOGUOhUNVL2m1WOrfg_HA9me5clvb0iqWzhH1MQtAzqg8F_DY8XwRkldxTQ/s1600/night+meek.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 310px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFyrmpUC4Z0A0C3hGxc-fTeoAiKrcuwEbLStYyZKeRtWBSk_cBL8nz1lqqL9gF8DWpD_B_iwayHbUFyotZnOGUOhUNVL2m1WOrfg_HA9me5clvb0iqWzhH1MQtAzqg8F_DY8XwRkldxTQ/s320/night+meek.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999678128734306" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: An out of work department store Santa with a drinking problem finds a magical sack that lets him give presents to children. He eventually transforms into the real Santa Claus.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Your children are writing letters and setting out cookies for an underemployed alcoholic.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stopover in a Quiet Town</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0aZVUIOSGLNm6g2-CFCEGPCYe3_5HNqR0YAMbUWC7Q-sLu6kq5H_YQNh_vxZ14Vjvnfi-4EdCNSOPwg-mYBbxBFLh9U3Ncr6qpxkC2TCf88K90VdQv-FV8zqtk0wQNYPGNBdWenEoUvA/s1600/stopover.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0aZVUIOSGLNm6g2-CFCEGPCYe3_5HNqR0YAMbUWC7Q-sLu6kq5H_YQNh_vxZ14Vjvnfi-4EdCNSOPwg-mYBbxBFLh9U3Ncr6qpxkC2TCf88K90VdQv-FV8zqtk0wQNYPGNBdWenEoUvA/s320/stopover.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999721486526258" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: After drinking and driving, a married couple wakes up in a strange house. In an odd twist, it's revealed that the town they find themselves in is nothing more than a toy for a gigantic alien girl.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Rod Serling should have been writing anti-drug afterschool specials. This was a lot better than some of the actual anti drug episodes I've seen. The idea of drinking and then waking up in a scary town is a lot more frightening than the prospect of having Winnie the Pooh, the Ninja Turtles, and the Chipmunks disapprovingly wonder what's to become of me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I Dream of Genie</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRsTnBBUMQNakGYNqaTLi3ZXtr9pngF-ImYltXjB8phw_Tpzd2_IDTUExZEXZ1mpXs_3ZVdBQCo0jAGJoTrGANQg1tgFhlfvcWIAN8fnG3Iip52GgAZWSQ915dgoNolFTvZEj8iivxZBE/s1600/genie.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 177px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRsTnBBUMQNakGYNqaTLi3ZXtr9pngF-ImYltXjB8phw_Tpzd2_IDTUExZEXZ1mpXs_3ZVdBQCo0jAGJoTrGANQg1tgFhlfvcWIAN8fnG3Iip52GgAZWSQ915dgoNolFTvZEj8iivxZBE/s320/genie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999075040561842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A man is given the chance at one wish by a genie. He considers several ideas but decides he's cut out for customer service as he wishes to become a genie so he can spend his whole life helping people.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: The good people at Disney had this episode in their list of things to rip off when they were writing <span style="font-style: italic;">Aladdin</span>, didn't they? (Right under Kimba the White Lion.) Apparently, the most horrifying thing Michael Eisner could imagine for the villain Jafar was a future of making life easier for others.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Eye of the Beholder</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-QzUFP8QeJOL5PjJblH6uW5z0VVghoir11kn1TqD6XqM7MUg1K8A0YIbkbj06hhJ5pUbOKm3t_mDXNcu3yqBz1_5WoFS6yjeUXxgxjB1Ita3Fac-bMRJdxMRGJlVzXBlh2jDEROvJRlY/s1600/eye+of+beholder.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 289px; height: 187px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-QzUFP8QeJOL5PjJblH6uW5z0VVghoir11kn1TqD6XqM7MUg1K8A0YIbkbj06hhJ5pUbOKm3t_mDXNcu3yqBz1_5WoFS6yjeUXxgxjB1Ita3Fac-bMRJdxMRGJlVzXBlh2jDEROvJRlY/s320/eye+of+beholder.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545045366462483410" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: In the future, ugliness is banned. Deformed outcasts are forced to submit to plastic surgery until they conform. A woman covered in bandages is waiting to see the results of her last plastic surgery operation (the twist being, of course, that she's a conventionally attractive woman by today's standards in a world of strange pig faced people).<br /><br />Lessons Learned: To paraphrase both the Beastie Boys and Scott Westerfeld (author of the <span style="font-style: italic;">Uglies</span> series), you gotta fight for your right to be ugly.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Number 12 Looks Just Like You</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVemB-q_uDqAs7JCORZBxj0JZqSytwfImR75fWmGGLn4bxRXLwaSFzmORF4SesRuNBcZoJnLGLWN0I4jWR6WOnBFCSEQ6eUoQaOMAM8xi8t7tKx8aRevxovfsJivCL_nHj8itnzfs4sAs/s1600/number+12.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 258px; height: 193px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVemB-q_uDqAs7JCORZBxj0JZqSytwfImR75fWmGGLn4bxRXLwaSFzmORF4SesRuNBcZoJnLGLWN0I4jWR6WOnBFCSEQ6eUoQaOMAM8xi8t7tKx8aRevxovfsJivCL_nHj8itnzfs4sAs/s320/number+12.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999685468885730" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Once again, it's the future, and it has become compulsory to undergo medical surgery to become beautiful. A headstrong young girl tries to turn down the procedure.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Much like the flying car, one of the things movie and TV show producers from the past assumed would happen today is compulsive beauty. As I go about every day tasks, I wonder where the beautiful people are that I was promised. (Also, Marty McFly's self drying jacket.)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I Sing the Body Electric</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqes8c7xeBHKqw1bG6Df8ZwB082o2oBf3gRphX-phlOYSc6nqcwpeBlzezrmY-hc6BP0YNLufHDJQweECnyc8Cy8bLG8FXPC1mD3_nqP3mVrCBxZaIOBS9m4_CWF4WZADnARAKm5wSZOE/s1600/i+sing.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 285px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqes8c7xeBHKqw1bG6Df8ZwB082o2oBf3gRphX-phlOYSc6nqcwpeBlzezrmY-hc6BP0YNLufHDJQweECnyc8Cy8bLG8FXPC1mD3_nqP3mVrCBxZaIOBS9m4_CWF4WZADnARAKm5wSZOE/s320/i+sing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999270670083010" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A widower with three children finds a factory that specializes in custom built robots. The robot grandmother they create serves the children until they mature, whereupon she is sent back to the factory to be disassembled until she is needed by another family.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Between this and the pro assisted suicide grandma of <span style="font-style: italic;">Long Distance Call</span>, I'm not sure I want to know what Rod Serling's relationship with his grandmother was like. Also, this robot grandmother would have been the perfect person to give Number 5 of <span style="font-style: italic;">Short Circuit</span> a pep talk on why being "DISASSEMBLED?!" wouldn't be so bad.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Nick of Time</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHW98pX2q0nx7LiQbVf4l1yB2XqJnRaUl5w_8mu3UAXPYcT4ZKpJHN_ghke8-qCTIGx00NfHUmcyuSrYM8GkV3OOWpab2WJvrj9gYwVDEPPdA1HMP4hUkGEy_2nanMkF_DHYkm8A-rDy4/s1600/nick+of+time.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHW98pX2q0nx7LiQbVf4l1yB2XqJnRaUl5w_8mu3UAXPYcT4ZKpJHN_ghke8-qCTIGx00NfHUmcyuSrYM8GkV3OOWpab2WJvrj9gYwVDEPPdA1HMP4hUkGEy_2nanMkF_DHYkm8A-rDy4/s320/nick+of+time.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999619512515330" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A newlywed couple stops in a town to get their car repaired. The man, played by William Shatner, believes that the fortune teller game they find in a diner actually can predict the future and starts to obsessively base his life decisions on the device.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: So that's what people did back in the day before there were FarmVille crops to be harvested and important Perez Hilton messages to retweet.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Bewitchin' Pool</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLwshopBreQoGmmWBzox-j4KVZkN5DgFf51c3ZhxQ7-fSs-RzEsSW3pdbP2qTTaJq1yEz0XNnYfsajp2OjYSVVVdNJiaj3MhQOWnPzWw_plO5Uz43udvc-Ka7Yv1tLpCPc88vDiHfzXcI/s1600/bewitchin+pool.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 271px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLwshopBreQoGmmWBzox-j4KVZkN5DgFf51c3ZhxQ7-fSs-RzEsSW3pdbP2qTTaJq1yEz0XNnYfsajp2OjYSVVVdNJiaj3MhQOWnPzWw_plO5Uz43udvc-Ka7Yv1tLpCPc88vDiHfzXcI/s320/bewitchin+pool.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999057173997122" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A young girl and boy named Sport and Jeb take refugee from their arguing parents by finding a secret world on the other side of their swimming pool. Many unhappy children have fled to this world. Here, the only grown up is an elderly woman named Aunt T, who puts the children to work doing good, wholesome chores. When Sport and Jeb's parents announce they'll be divorcing and that the children will have to choose who to live with, they finally escape to Aunt T's world for good.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Divorce is a phenomenon so evil and unnatural that it drives children to voluntarily spend all eternity doing chores for a woman who looks suspiciously like the prototype for Mom's Friendly Robot Oil Company.<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-49741040315367139102010-11-29T10:52:00.004-05:002010-11-29T20:41:35.092-05:00Lessons I Learned From the Twilight Zone, Part I<span>In the spirit of the post on what I learned from reading Goosebumps, I decided to do a post on what I learned from watching everyone's favorite creepy old TV show, the Twilight Zone. </span><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">To Serve Man</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiafW0KopsKgyeDnnTVrDIQrVXRqr40L59DY3oV9LOGjBbJWOzTJ_4PPnOxsgNsa8CJQyJ2jUoC7pUt6CS8ayx4ZBliXiECWiEuqtJCge21pl_ArWrkQXiH9KhPfO0dddOglYvzgHvx80k/s1600/cookbook.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 309px; height: 282px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiafW0KopsKgyeDnnTVrDIQrVXRqr40L59DY3oV9LOGjBbJWOzTJ_4PPnOxsgNsa8CJQyJ2jUoC7pUt6CS8ayx4ZBliXiECWiEuqtJCge21pl_ArWrkQXiH9KhPfO0dddOglYvzgHvx80k/s320/cookbook.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999063146731842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Aliens come down to earth offering humans all kinds of wonderful gifts. The earthlings are unsure of whether or not to trust them. They decide to translate a book the aliens leave behind called <span style="font-style: italic;">To Serve Man</span>. To their horror, it's a cookbook.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Aliens are evil. Don't trust them when they offer the human species gifts. There's probably a horrible twist.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Gift</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4DHTc_UKqUJHwtPLlkXclnvSJGLckmlg16w2QJfw8D70WGYbTDHR-MW3eMgA_uZjgu4Tf7dX0HfrTl93aZI9fJLt5Y3mmUmyaM50J2yQQtXUUXQ7fgNBk6_4-p1Pb_L8GDnYKIBOiq0/s1600/alien+gift.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 198px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4DHTc_UKqUJHwtPLlkXclnvSJGLckmlg16w2QJfw8D70WGYbTDHR-MW3eMgA_uZjgu4Tf7dX0HfrTl93aZI9fJLt5Y3mmUmyaM50J2yQQtXUUXQ7fgNBk6_4-p1Pb_L8GDnYKIBOiq0/s320/alien+gift.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545003521103196690" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: An alien comes down to a small town offering a gift. Distrusting him, the townspeople slaughter him, whereupon it's revealed that his gift is a cure for all diseases.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: ...Except for when they're good. No, you can't win.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Purple Testament</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUgJk7W66ZGEofVMM4csA3JKsbalAjgQd08exuYyIu-RPDiK2zzSfptpZcwuKi9iuO_39P95q3gje8DnDMjKdcO51Anq7mzvnrV8uOUFMVmuKjR6B-cGzKiWIgDj6MvGFkL_yin0nfck4/s1600/purple+testament.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 239px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUgJk7W66ZGEofVMM4csA3JKsbalAjgQd08exuYyIu-RPDiK2zzSfptpZcwuKi9iuO_39P95q3gje8DnDMjKdcO51Anq7mzvnrV8uOUFMVmuKjR6B-cGzKiWIgDj6MvGFkL_yin0nfck4/s320/purple+testament.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999704386276642" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A WWII soldier finds he can predict death by seeing a flash of light on the faces of doomed men.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Apparently Angelica Huston died soon after the Addams Family franchise finished up.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Long Distance Call</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7-IAu3OWT9KxZX1L3PK6cVMjqWZ70B0lMCHr-3H6Au7KT_og802FSRwT6GaW17HN2l-3hV7OMvVM4Piori42DR84SfUF4oAXbrjBUAkj0Xb3fjSPX6J0DhkGX4pdJsFUqp2HG-cMv900/s1600/long+distance+call.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 268px; height: 196px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7-IAu3OWT9KxZX1L3PK6cVMjqWZ70B0lMCHr-3H6Au7KT_og802FSRwT6GaW17HN2l-3hV7OMvVM4Piori42DR84SfUF4oAXbrjBUAkj0Xb3fjSPX6J0DhkGX4pdJsFUqp2HG-cMv900/s320/long+distance+call.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999278781972162" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A little boy's grandmother gives him a toy telephone before she passes away. After she dies, she's able to contact him on the phone and asks him to join him. Soon, the little boy tries to end his own life in order to be with his grandmother. The boy's father pleads with the grandmother (his mother) over the phone to let the boy live his own life.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Yes, Sadako, there is a more overbearing fictional mother out there than Mrs. Costanza.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A Nice Place to Visit</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGP9mRootqY6SqX0w0Z5Oz6ng7ZKvQ16ykga7M40uIeblt4Jgz7OpkGUalrNntA62MdskLl0KalnECG1dEWHDjmgEYGg6xOnscgtenSH5KtPfDsq5U83F1Hc7Fh02KUTwGDrZMX-J2c9g/s1600/nice+place+visit.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 241px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGP9mRootqY6SqX0w0Z5Oz6ng7ZKvQ16ykga7M40uIeblt4Jgz7OpkGUalrNntA62MdskLl0KalnECG1dEWHDjmgEYGg6xOnscgtenSH5KtPfDsq5U83F1Hc7Fh02KUTwGDrZMX-J2c9g/s320/nice+place+visit.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999293240849186" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A crook named Rocky Valentine dies and wakes up in a world beyond his wildest dreams where he's rich, can gamble nonstop, and has beautiful women who are attracted to him. It turns out that the afterlife is a bit too good to be true, though. Growing bored of a world where there's no possibility of anything bad ever happening, Rocky begs to be taken to the other place (i.e., Hell), only to be told that he's already there.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Be good, boys and girls, or you'll have to gamble nonstop with beautiful women. Compared to Dante's <span style="font-style: italic;">Inferno</span>, it's pretty tame. Then again, Rod Serling's depiction of Hell is a lot closer to the obligatory visit to Atlantic City that the <span style="font-style: italic;">Real Housewives of NJ</span> go on every season. Rod Serling may know more about Hell than Dante and Virgil ever did.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Howling Man</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ir-c93wnjPSC9Pei3HOoB9_kvOc-MB0WuahiPJN8VPHIHzRilBOQNNFRvfaYpdGIdIREFBcT9ynjbhYfL9oF9Jy3z0mGaMkhgQozT2cp9pMRm0jMZfrq2eAwCvrJaryefwM-vQTtLJ4/s1600/howling+man.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 226px; height: 308px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ir-c93wnjPSC9Pei3HOoB9_kvOc-MB0WuahiPJN8VPHIHzRilBOQNNFRvfaYpdGIdIREFBcT9ynjbhYfL9oF9Jy3z0mGaMkhgQozT2cp9pMRm0jMZfrq2eAwCvrJaryefwM-vQTtLJ4/s320/howling+man.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999272570898818" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: A group of monks finds the devil and put him in a room locked with a staff, but a visitor is soon talked into letting him out.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: The devil can hold his own in fiddle contests, induce pea soup vomiting, and still find time to head up the law firm of Milton, Chadwick & Waters. Yet in the face of a simple staff, he's as helpless as an infant in a playpen. (Actually, more helpless if said infant is starring in an animated TV show on the Nickelodeon network.)<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">It's a Good Life</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-O2w5Yt_qvXT7jjtqjsaJ_1WdvKIDA0sCb85uGGXgYRVYCb3pg7vE1oxTbaheCVmtMjpoIaOYVaKicmBZEneKy_IImcNSMtvs8MCtX1SqGXZoKveCpwUS_JMeZ416_FnS_uHLEwP54Q/s1600/good+life.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 241px; height: 184px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-O2w5Yt_qvXT7jjtqjsaJ_1WdvKIDA0sCb85uGGXgYRVYCb3pg7vE1oxTbaheCVmtMjpoIaOYVaKicmBZEneKy_IImcNSMtvs8MCtX1SqGXZoKveCpwUS_JMeZ416_FnS_uHLEwP54Q/s320/good+life.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544999077226787170" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Synopsis: Welcome to a world where a six year old boy named Anthony has the power to read minds and to create anything. At the end, little Anthony transforms a man trying to stop him into a jack in the box.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: Back in the day, the worst thing that living in a 6 year old's paradise entailed watching dinosaurs fight on TV instead of Ozzie and Harriet and getting turned into a jack in the box. Irritating, yes, but we live in a day and age when your average kid gets exposed to creepier things than a jack in the box. Furbies. Bratz dolls. Tickle me Elmo. Billy Mumy's world was creepy to be sure, but I don't want to imagine what would happen if this episode got remade.<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3272732278661768522.post-11091201031348088382010-11-25T09:00:00.000-05:002010-11-25T09:23:32.269-05:00Movies in a Minute: Home Alone<div style="text-align: justify;">It's Thanksgiving, and you know what that means. Non-stop Xmas programming! In honor of that, I'm re-posting my <span style="font-style: italic;">Home Alone</span> recap. Happy happy turkey day, everyone.<br /><br /><img style="width: 205px; height: 287px;" alt="http://i30.tinypic.com/2dtc20i.jpg" src="http://i30.tinypic.com/2dtc20i.jpg" /><br /><br />Kevin: "Did anyone order me a plain, tomato free, no-fat non-dairy cheese pizza?"<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 236px; height: 177px;" alt="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lZr0aYGZ0W8/0.jpg" src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lZr0aYGZ0W8/0.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Buzz: "Yeah, we did, but if you want any, someone's gonna have to pull a Tracy Gold."<br /><br />Kevin: "AAAAAAAAAH!"<br /><br />All: "KEVIN!"<br /><br />Jeff: "Kevin, I wish Mom remembered to take her birth control pill the night you were conceived."<br /><br />Kate McCallister: "There are fifteen people in this house, and you're the only one who expects me to parent."<br /><br /><img style="width: 232px; height: 177px;" alt="http://www.jtbrandt.com/_/rsrc/1259681770360/inkfist/favoriteholidaymoviehomealone1990/home%20alone%20uncle%20frank.jpg" src="http://www.jtbrandt.com/_/rsrc/1259681770360/inkfist/favoriteholidaymoviehomealone1990/home%20alone%20uncle%20frank.jpg" /><br /><br />Uncle Frank: "Look what you did, you little hemorrhoid on the ass of America."<br /><br />Kevin: "I hope I never see any of you jerks again! Whoa. I made my family disappear?"<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 239px; height: 183px;" alt="http://www.otherkidspacklunch.com/WindowsLiveWriter/home_alone01.jpg" src="http://www.otherkidspacklunch.com/WindowsLiveWriter/home_alone01.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kevin: "I made my family disappear. No more bespectacled Kieran trying to go <span style="font-style: italic;">All About Eve</span> on me!"<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 265px; height: 193px;" alt="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kpf9e3uEjP1qzk2upo1_500.jpg" src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kpf9e3uEjP1qzk2upo1_500.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kevin: "Buzz, your girlfriend, yuch. Hey Buzz, I'm going through your stuff. Better come out and pound me. Mom? Dad? I'm eating junk. Better come out and stop me. James Cagney? I'm watching an obvious rip off of <span style="font-style: italic;">Angels with Dirty Faces</span>, better come out and sue me!"<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 260px; height: 167px;" alt="http://www.premiere.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/media/images/home-alone/601245-1-eng-US/Home-Alone.jpg" src="http://www.premiere.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/media/images/home-alone/601245-1-eng-US/Home-Alone.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kate: "KEVIN! Am I a terrible mother?"<br /><br />Uncle Frank: "Well, we were thinking of getting you the Susan Smith Parenting Award of the Year."<br /><br />Aunt Leslie: "Frank! Use a sotto voce until we're sure they're paying for our return tickets."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 235px; height: 143px;" alt="http://clashofthetitans.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/article-0-05a0b5680000044d-995_468x286.jpg" src="http://clashofthetitans.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/article-0-05a0b5680000044d-995_468x286.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kevin: "Excuse me, is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?"<br /><br />Cashier: "Son, you have to pay for that toothbrush. Son? That's a loss of almost two dollars for us. Son! Jimmy, that boy looks frightened. Hunt him down like a dog!"<br /><br />Cop: "Hmm, chasing a scared eight year old or looking for the shabbily dressed guys driving around the gated community in the huge van? Eight year old."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 255px; height: 191px;" alt="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/O5UJ323MWK0/0.jpg" src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/O5UJ323MWK0/0.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Marv: "Can we be the wet bandits?"<br /><br />Harry: "Shut up, Marv. Grab your crowbar and get into the child molester van. We've got about eight more pieces of accessories that scream: <span style="font-style: italic;">CRIMINAL</span> to collect before we can start robbing this rich enclave at nine o'clock tonight."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 222px; height: 174px;" alt="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_NdGAi6Lhpjk/Syyiwo7uY6I/AAAAAAAAAWk/ZAPow0Z6LRk/s400/marley1.jpg" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_NdGAi6Lhpjk/Syyiwo7uY6I/AAAAAAAAAWk/ZAPow0Z6LRk/s400/marley1.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Old Man Marley: "Hello. You know any time you see me, you can say hello. A lot of stuff has been said about me. None of it's true."<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Kevin: "Really?"<br /><br />Old Man Marley: "Well...maybe the stuff about my obsessive crush on Jessica Fletcher. But really, I'm just a lonely old man who misses his granddaughter. I got into a fight with my son and I'm afraid if I go back he'll throw me and my La-Z-Boy out on our asses."<br /><br /><img style="width: 302px; height: 226px;" alt="http://hookedonhouses.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/vlcsnap-271237.jpg" src="http://hookedonhouses.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/vlcsnap-271237.jpg" /><br /><br />Kevin: "When these guys come back, I'll be waiting. This is my house. I have to defend it. Let's see. Ice on the stairs. Humiliating chicken feathers. Blow torch to the head. And an iron maiden made from my Lego bricks."<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 246px; height: 191px;" alt="http://ncliedl.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/harry_and_marv.jpg" src="http://ncliedl.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/harry_and_marv.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Karl Rove: "Hey kid? When you grow up, if you don't have plans, can you come work for us? We'd love to see what you can do for us at Guantanamo."<br /><br />Marv: "Harry, where's your gold tooth?"<br /><br />Harry: "Are you frigging fragging kidding me--I stole that tooth off Billy Batts before we buried his body and then reburied it. That kid's ruined the greatest hits of the Shangri-Las for me!"<br /><br />Marv: (narrating <span style="font-style: italic;">Wonder Year</span> style) "Looking at myself in the mirror, covered in chicken feathers, facing a long term back injury, with possible tetanus...it was then that I realized...(<span style="font-style: italic;">aloud</span>): I'M GONNA KILL THIS KID!"<br /></div><br /><img style="width: 281px; height: 158px;" alt="http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/2599/homealone3ot6.jpg" src="http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/2599/homealone3ot6.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Harry: "First, I'm going to start by biting off every single little finger."<br /></div><br /><img alt="http://thehollywoodham.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/homealone.jpg" src="http://thehollywoodham.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/homealone.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Old Man Marley: "Let's get you home, Kevin. Maybe we should talk to your parents about getting you into therapy after that creepy near finger biting incident. Looks like your folks aren't home. Maybe we should contact the authorities."<br /><br />Kevin: "Sir. I'm eight years old. I'm barely able to brush my own hair without creating an adorably tousled cowlick. Do I look old enough to be home alone? My parents are here. They're just slightly off camera."<br /><br />Old Man Marley: "Oh. Okay. See you later. Have a great Christmas."<br /><br />Sadako: "Marley, I'm no connoisseuse of the child neglect laws, but I'm starting to realize why your son won't let you see your granddaughter."<br /><br />Bing Crosby: <span style="font-style: italic;">"Have yourself a merry little Christmas...</span>What movie did they dig me up to sing in this time? A Chris Columbus, really? They couldn't get me a murdering Santa slasher?"<br /><br />Kate: "Kevin? I had to sit through sixteen hours of John Candy but I'm here. I'm so sorry. I'll never forget to feed you or clothe you or change your woodchips again, little guy."<br /><br />Kevin: "Mom! Where are the others?"<br /><br />Kate: "Eating frog legs nuggets at Charles DeGaulle."<br /><br />Family: "We're home! And we left Uncle Frank back in Paris wandering around the Babar store."<br /><br />Buzz: "Kevin? WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE PICTURE OF MY GENDER NON SPECIFIC SIGNIFICANT OTHER!"<br /></div>Sadakohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01164802394129505587noreply@blogger.com