Daniel: "Hi. I'm the wrong side of the tracks Jersey boy. I have underdog permanently stitched to the back of my shirt."
Ali: "Oh. My parents wear monogrammed track suits around the house. And my boyfriend's an entitled upper class asshole."
Sadako: "Can you say class conflict any louder?"
Johnny: "Stay away from my girl!"
Cobra Kai: "Yeah!"
Daniel: "Ow."
Mr. Miyagi: "You underdog. Look like you need friend. Mentor. Buddy. Miyagi help."
Cookie Monster: "Good syntax! Me approve."
Mr. Miyagi: "Bonsai tree?"
Daniel: "There's no way I can trim a bonsai tree. It's 1984--Japan isn't cool or accessible even to the most alienated outsider. Hentai hasn't entered our cultural lexicon."
Mr. Miyagi: "Close eyes. Trust. Concentrate. Think only tree."
Sadako: "Mr. Miyagi, they should hire you to teach brain surgery and rocket science for the blind."
Daniel: "Johnny's crew beat me senseless and I already used the I walked into a door excuse, Mr. Miyagi. What do I do?"
Mr. Miyagi: "Go Cobra Kai karate teacher. Talk him about wayward students."
Teacher: "Let's fight about it."
Mr. Miyagi: "Fight at tournament conveniently taking place two months from now in neutral location. Give Daniel-san two months prepare."
Teacher: "Works for me. I've got the next two months free to attend that Chuck Norris Fantasy Camp."
Cobra Kai Dojo: "YES, SENSEI! NO MERCY, SENSEI! THANK YOU, SENSEI, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?"
Daniel: "There's no way I can beat Johnny."
Sadako: "He's got screaming in monotonous unison with the rest of the dojo down pretty good, I'll grant you."
Mr. Miyagi: "Karate not about fight. Fight always last resort."
Edward Said: "Could you use a verb, or a definite article once in a while, please? I need a break from spinning in my grave."
Sadako: "Take a chill pill, Eddie. You're going to need it for the Orientalism displayed when I snark SATC Deux."
Daniel: "I don't know. I just don't think I have what it takes to win."
Sadako: "There's no way you can't win. You have a magical Asian man, a mystical bandanna heirloom and your opponent is a stock rich asshole. Middle America would riot in the streets Rodney King style if you lost."
Mr. Miyagi: "Daniel-san. I promise teach karate. And no conjugate verbs. That my part. Your part, you do, no questions or challenging of Miyagi's grammatical structure."
Daniel: "Karate training? I'm being your goddamned slave! And could you pick up Strunk and White, please?"
Mr. Miyagi: "Daniel-san! Show me sand floor! Show paint fence. Show wax on, wax off! And one more thing. Miyagi already memorize Elements of Style. Like best chapter on brevity."
Ali: "Daniel, what's wrong?"
Daniel: "We're from two different worlds, Ali. You're from Encino. I'm from Reseda. You shop at Fred Segal. I wear Oriental hand-me-downs. You're going to go on to star in such family friendly eighties fare as Adventures in Babysitting and the last two Back to the Future films. I'll be lucky to get a bit part in My Cousin Vinny."
Ali: *punches Johnny* "See? It's okay now."
Sadako: "Take that, psychological fall out from class conflict."
Mr. Miyagi: "It time. Fight now. Remember karate that Miyagi taught you, Daniel-san."
Official: "First match. Point to Daniel."
Ali: "You're the best, Daniel! You're the best!"
Sadako: "No, too subtle. How will we know how Daniel's doing relative to his competitors?"
Joe Esposito: "You're the best, around! Nothing's ever gonna keep you down, you're the BEST!"
Teacher: "Sweep the leg!"
Johnny: "W-what?"
Teacher: "Show no mercy! Now shove him when he's down so the audience will know they're supposed to hate you."
Officials: "We're going to allow this, in order to set the overall tone of social warfare."
Officials: "Winner, winner, chicken dinner!"
Daniel: "We won, Mr. Miyagi! On a hurt leg, no less! Best wounded underdog story ever!"
Sadako: "Till Nancy Kerrigan, anyway."
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