Sunday, January 3, 2010

BSC #131: The Fire at Mary Anne's House


Mary Anne's house burns down. And the babysitters are entering a best babysitter contest in some magazine--as a group. The book has an open ending--Richard and Sharon are considering moving from Stoneybrook to buy a new house, possibly in Pennsylvania. And MA's pretty shellshocked.

When I first started recapping this one, I decided to do the unthinkable: to judge a book by its cover. I know it's wrong, but look how utterly hot this cover is. It's convinced me that we need to f'getabout Claudia's stylishness and Stacey's sophisticated...ness, and focus on Mary Anne as a model. Okay, so she's short--so were all the Top Models last season! Give her a pair of Jimmy Choos and park her right in front of the judging panel on America's Next Top Model.

Judging Panel

Tyra: So, Mary Anne. How do you like your Ty-Over? I know the girls freak out when we ask them to cut off all their hair, but short hair is really high fashion and it shows off your cheek bones, and I think we did a great job with it.

MA: Um. I got this haircut at the mall over a decade ago.

Tyra: Girl, when I was first starting out, I was doing go sees in salons in malls and little towns--and the first time I was discovered was when I was five and a guy did a caricature for me at the food court...

Nigel: Let's see her best shot.

Tyra: Gorgeous. Today's shoot was tragic situations, and you really nailed it. I love the fact that you weren't afraid to be unpretty. It was a sad shot but you made it fashion. Just like I myself dealt with tragedy when Heidi Klum got to be top angel at the Victoria's Secret fashion show four days after having a baby, and I had to--

Nigel: You really committed to the shot. And you were a joy to work with, I have to say.

Tyra: But not as much fun as meeeeee, Nigel, right? Remember that nickname you gave me?

Nigel: Insufferable Yank?

Tyra: Anyway, Mary Anne, one thing really skinny girls need to watch out for though is making yourself look TOO thin--your left arm looks a bit bony, and that's something we'd need to touch up after.

Janice Dickinson: Tyra, hush, you can never be too skinny, rich, drunk, Valium infused, or syphilis ridden.

Tyra: I think I'd like to see you go a little further, though, Mary Anne--don't be afraid to really show us your body. Let your t-shirt fall off the shoulder, be a little flirty, sexy...but make sure it's fashion!

MA: Can I go now?
  • Mary Anne has to wear some clothing donated by other people because she loses everything in the fire. This isn't explicitly said, but I bet there's a scene where she wears a new shirt and excitedly tells Richard, "Look, Dad, Dawn is stupid and I'm with her!"
  • Speaking of borrowed clothing, no one at one point stops off to buy new underwear. You really expect me to believe that Richard "I iron my sweat socks" Spier is wearing Watson's knock offs? I think not.
  • This was the last BSC book ever. Until Friends Forever, anyway. Who got to ghost write? Ellen Miles, bitches. Lerangis offered Ann M. his first born child, but Ellen Miles made Ann a tea cozy shaped like a gigantic tea cozy.
  • The BSC enters a contest for Sitter of the Year. They decide to enter as a group. They have to write an essay about why they're great sitters and collect testimonials from the kids they've sat for. The book never tells us if they win, but I have to assume they do because can you imagine the competition?
That girl in Arthur who babysits, that Arthur crushes on but who breaks his heart when he realizes she's got a boyfriend

Arthur's testimonial: "She broke my heart and made me not want to open myself to another living soul again, which means I'll probably get brow beaten into marrying Francine, having weird pseudo monkey kids, and never leaving Elwood City again. Oh, um, she provided good snacks."

Title character of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Crandell kids: "She really fostered growth and independence."

R.L. Stine's the Babysitter

Donny Hagen: "Jenny was the only babysitter Daddy didn't kill. Well, so far."

Ole Golly from Harriet the Spy

Mrs. Welsch: "Ole Golly was a wonderful and attentive nanny to our bright, shining star of a child...why doesn't she still work for us? Well, she left the night we came home to find she and her boyfriend went out on a date to the movies, and stayed out past midnight, but apart from that..."

The BSC are so the winners.

Happy New Year, all! I promised I'd be posting more BSC recaps in the New Year, didn't I? I'm having a bit of blogger's block, so please let me know, either through comments or e-mail, if there are any books or movies or anything I absolutely have to recap.