Thursday, October 14, 2010

Movies in a Minute: Disney's Oliver and Company

Huey Lewis: "Finally! The chance to show that I'm about more than providing songs to be ripped off in Ghostbusters or filler songs in Back to the Future! 'Cause it's always once upon a time in New York City..."

Oliver: "Mew! Help! I'm as lost as Joey Lawrence in a TV show where he's playing a character not named Joey!"

Dodger: "Come on. Let's you and me steal some sausages."

Oliver: "Cool! When are we gonna eat?"

Dodger: "We? Sorry. I only look out for myself. Our dynamic duo has just become a dynamic uno!"

Oliver: "Hey! Wait! I can haz access to goods that are legally mine?!"

Dodger: "You want the sausages? And to maybe worm your way into my heart and teach me about empathy? Come and get 'em! Why should I worry? Tell me, why should I care?"

Pierre: "I could come up with a reason..."

All: "Dodger!"

Dodger: "Hey guys. Who wants sausage? These ones come pre dipped in cement, hydrant water, and angry feline slobber."

Oliver: *Mew*

Rita: "Cool it, guys, it's just a cat."

Tito: "Dios mio, un gato!"

Benji: "Mr. Eisner? Admit it. The real reason you turned down my request to become animated was because you found a Hispanic dog who would work for slave wages, right?"

Sykes: "Where's the money, Fagin?"

Fagin: "Maybe the animated version of Mr. Bumble has it?"

Sykes: "Do you know what happens when people don't pay me back? People get hurt."

Fagin: "Please, I'll pay back the debt I owe you!"

Sadako: "Fellow liberal arts student facing student loans, eh?"

Fagin: "We've got two days to make enough money to pay back Mr. Sykes. Dodger, keep an eye on the new kid. Show him the ropes."

Oliver: "What kind of work do we do, anyway?"

Dodger: "There's no real way to Disneyfy You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two, so let's not really address that."

Tito: "You be lookout."

Oliver: "Okay! What's a lookout?"

Tito: "Aye! Mi madre! Just look out the weendow, okay?"

Jennifer Lopez Hand: "Hey cholo, want to form an ethnic stereotype support group?"

Jenny: "Hi there! Aww. A kitty!"

Rita: "What happened to the kid?"

Dodger: "We've got to rescue him!"

Jenny: "Here, Oliver. You get your own bowl and your own toys."

Winston: "Georgette isn't going to like this."

Georgette: Girl, we've got a lot of work to do...perfect isn't easy.

Sadako: "Apparently it requires owning stock in Latisse and the ability to apply an amount of eyeshadow that would make Patsy Ramsey blush at the tastelessness."

Jenny: "Oh, Oliver. You're so great. You and me together / Will be...forever..."

Sadako: "I'ma let you you finish, Jenny, but Fern and Wilbur's song There Must Be Something More was one of the best owner/animal friendship songs of ALL TIME."

Georgette: "Grrr..."

Dodger: "Let's find the kid. Hey. This place doesn't look so bad..."

Tito: "Hey man, if thees is torture, chain me to the wall!"

Gidget: "How is it that loving Taco Bell got me thrown off the campaign by irate Hispanic pride groups and nothing happened to Tito? Please, someone tell me!"

Georgette: "WINSTON! Bark bark bark! Don't come any closer! I knew this would happen one day!"

Dodger: "Hey, you're barking up the wrong tree. It's not you we're after."

Georgette: "It's not?! Well, why not? What's the problem? I mean, do you even know who I am? Fifty six blue ribbons, six time national champion!"

Sadako: "And the canine doing the most to perpetuate rape and sexual assault myths."

Dodger: "We'll leave as soon as we get our cat."

Georgette: "Here you go! Bye now!"

Francis: "Welcome home, Oliver!"

Oliver: "What? Huh? I'm sorry, guys. But I had a home. And it's a Park Avenue townhouse in pre-gentrified New York!"

Dodger: "We're your family! We risked a lot to get you back here."

Oliver: "Dodger, I'm sorry--

Dodger: "Fine, kid, if you wanna go, go. No one's forcing you. Walk out on me if you like. If you hurry, you can catch up with Christie Brinkley."

Fagin: *sigh* "So that's where you've been, Oliver. You're doing well for yourself. Hey, wait a minute! We're saved! Huzzah for felonies!"

Jenny: "Oliver's been kidnapped! Come on, Georgette. Let's rescue him!"

Fagin: "You're Oliver's owner? The big blue eyes. The piggy bank. Sigh. I can't resist the pathos. Okay, here's your cat."

Sykes: "Yoink. Consider our account closed."

Jenny: "Help! Save me!"

Fagin: "Come on, guys!"

Oliver: "..."

Jenny: "Oliver? Oliver?!"

Oliver: "Mew!"

Jenny: "Oliver, you're alive!"

Lucky: "Eh. It's been done."

All: "Happy birthday, Jenny!"

Sadako: "A birthday attended by a bum who doesn't pay his debts, feral dogs, and the hired help. I think this is creepier than the time my parents hired David Friedman to be the clown at my party when I turned six."

Dodger: "Later, kid. We'll save a spot for you. Uptown chapter!"

All: "Why should we worry? Why should we caaaaare?"