Monday, November 1, 2010

This Year's Best and Worst Halloween Costumes

This November 1st, I decided to do a recap of all the best Halloween costumes: costumes that I've in real life, that I've seen in movies, and read about in books.

Remember the sequel to the The Haunted Mask, the aptly named The Haunted Mask II?

Steve, from the Haunted Mask, returns and puts on this devilishly creepy old man mask. What category does Steve win? Well, at the GOP Halloween Extravaganza, he wins Best Depiction of Socialized Healthcare: a sick old man on your doorstep, begging for a handout. Now that's Obama's America for you.

Next, I turn to a costume fashioned by one of my stuffed toys. I'm a little biased towards my progeny, I know.

But my smallest and therefore cutest Teddy Bear won my heart this year. What did he go as? Kate Moss in bear form.

Who's up next? This random baby.

This baby's costume is one of my favorites. Not because he's my favorite source of potassium, but because he went as a Velvet Underground album cover. At age six months, that baby is already hipper than I'll ever be. (Especially since I still cop to some Raffi love.)

But of course, the clear winner is Wednesday Addams.

Wednesday is the clear winner. What did she go as at the end of The Addams Family? A homicidal maniac--they look just like everyone else.

And who gets the worst prize ever?

The Plastics! In Mean Girls, the most hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears. They get the prize for worst costume. Not because they pioneered self degradation and the deterioration of everything Gloria Steinem stood for. But because made it okay for furries to stand loud and proud. And as we all know, furries exist only for every other self professed geek, dweeb or spazz to feel superior to.

Hope everyone else enjoyed their Halloween!