Thursday, November 18, 2010

TV in a Minute: Twilight Zone: Living Doll

Hey guys. You're headed through a dimension not of sight or sound, but of mind. Also, of toys that make the Bratz dolls look normal. Welcome to the Twilight Zone episode Living Doll!

Annabelle: "Now remember, Christie. When you go out shopping, never show a man what you've bought till after he's eaten. Go hide your doll till I can get your stepfather into a good mood."

Christie: "Yes, Mommy."

Erich: "What have you got there, Christie?"

Annabelle: "It's just a doll, Erich. I charged it to the account. Christie, go show Daddy your doll and remember to flash him your dimples when you do so he won't be too angry."

Christie: "Her name is Talky Tina, and she talks and moves and I just love her!"

Erich: "Okay, Annabelle. How much did it cost?"

Annabelle: "I told you--

Erich: "I know, you charged it, but how much did it cost."

Annabelle: "I...don't understand."

Sadako: "Between this and Wilma Flintstone's catchphrase CHARGE IT! I'm surprised the feminist movement was able to take off at all."

Annabelle: "I don't think it's the price of the doll that's bothering you, Erich."

Erich: "Oh great, more of that Freudian mumbo jumbo you've been getting from the doctor."

Annabelle: "It isn't Dr. Lubin's fault Christie feels rejected, or that you're taking your hostility at having to conquer your lollipop addiction out on Christie."

Erich: "Talky Tina, hm?"

Tina: "My name is Talky Tina, and I don't like you!"

Rod Serling: "Tina--the doll that does everything. To Erich Straiter, she is a most unwelcome addition to his household.

Sadako: "And to future horror writer R.L. Stine she's a muse out of which an entire evil doll franchise is born."

Rod: "But without her, he'd never enter the Twilight Zone."

Annabelle: "Why, Erich? Why did you have to throw the doll?"

Erich: "I don't like what it says!"

Annabelle: "If only you'd open your heart to Christie a little more."

Betty Draper: "Your new husband doesn't like your kid and has a charge card? I don't quite understand the problem."

Annabelle: "I can't let you treat Christie this way. I love her."

Erich: "But I don't love her. I'm only her stepfather and I'm incapable of loving children because we can't have any of our own. Is that what you're saying?"

Annabelle: "I know you got more than you bargained for when you married me. A wife on the wrong side of thirty and a daughter. But we'll do anything to make you happy."

Sadako: "I don't know, Annabelle. A 9-5 job in the stenographer pool is looking better and better."

Erich: "So where'd you spend my hard earned money finding this doll, anyway?"

Annabelle: "Mason's. She'll be a good playmate for Christie."

Erich: "Lacking a brother or sister, is that what you mean? That's why you bought the doll--sort of a reminder?"

Sadako: "No, but I'm starting to wish I'd written my senior thesis on a study of correlation between inability to conceive and purchases of American Girl and My Buddy dolls."

Talky Tina: "I'm Talky Tina, and male infertility is easily conquered by switching from briefs to boxers! Also, you might want to get that mole checked out."

Erich: "All right, Annabelle. How'd you do it? Put a walkie talkie in the doll?"

Annabelle: "Erich, I'm a woman in early 1960s America. I can barely toast bread without igniting the kitchen. I'm not playing some kind of high tech trick on you."

Erich: "Bye, Tina."

Phone: "I'm Talky Tina, and this phone call was collect and long distance!"

Erich: "The doll was in Christie's bed! She's the one who's been doing it!"

Christie: "Daddy! Please! I've got blonde hair, blue eyes, a sweet little gap between my teeth--what more do you want in a daughter?!"

Erich: "I'm not your real daddy! You can't tell me what to do!"

Christie: *sob*

Sadako: "Double session with Dr. Lubin next week, huh?"

Erich: "Come with me, Tina!"

Talky Tina: "I'm Talky Tina, and I'd suggest you reread the Geneva Convention."

Budding Feminists: "Telly, could you replace Talky Tina with the Barbie who hates math? Thanks!"

Erich: "Well, this isn't going to work. Wait, Annabelle, where are you going?"

Annabelle: "You're sick and demented. Torturing a doll?"

Erich: "I'll give it back to Christie! Would that solve things?"

Annabelle: "Well...I suppose I'll have to let my child grow up with the psychological pain of having a stepparent who resents her. But since it's either that or secretarial work in an age where the workplace policy to sexual harassment was Thank you sir, may I have another and not I don't have to take this, all right."

Erich: "Hey, what's that noi--NOOO!"

Annabelle: "Erich? ERICH!"

Talky Tina: "I'm Talky Tina, and you better be nice to me! That means the double canopy doll sized bed from the Pleasant T. Rowland company and not a knockoff!"

Annabelle: "Great. I'm pushing forty and I've got to find a third husband with a daughter and an evil doll in tow?"