Tuesday, January 4, 2011

TV in a Minute: Twilight Zone: Eye of the Beholder

Sorry for the long wait, folks. In honor of this past weekend's Twilight Zone-a-thon, I present: Eye of the Beholder, the first episode of the Twilight Zone that I ever saw.

Janet Tyler: "Well. Here I am. In for my final surgery that will determine whether or not I can be made to look like a normal member of society. It's pretty bad, isn't it, Nurse?"

Nurse: "I've seen worse."

Sadako: "I see this hospital actively recruits from the Nurse Ratched School of Proper Bedside Manner."

Janet Tyler: "I never really wanted to be beautiful. I never wanted to look like a painting or anything."

Sadako: "Though I'm sure Dogs Playing Poker must have cruelly taunted you every time you saw it."

Janet: "I just wanted people not to scream when they looked at me."

Nurse #2: "Have you seen patient 307?"

Nurse #1: "Indeed I have. If it were my face I'd bury myself in a grave. Want to gossip about the burn victim unit next and the slightly less cute babies in NICU?"

Rod Serling: "In a minute we'll see what's under those bandages, keeping in mind that we're not to be surprised by what we see under them. It could well be a three eyed Martian, a Crucible esque satire of Communism, the devil, or Hitler."

Doctor: "Frankly, your case has stumped us, Miss Tyler. Nothing we've done so far has helped. Shots, surgeries. Though there is the up and coming paper bag over the head technique coming in from the Middle East..."

Janet: "What happens if I haven't responded?"

Doctor: "This is your eleventh surgery. After this, you won't be permitted to have any more surgeries to make you normal. But there are alternatives. We could...just put you away somewhere."

Janet: "You mean a GHETTO!"

Doctor: "Miss Tyler, please! I worked hard on carefully crafting my euphemisms for you."

Janet: "It isn't fair! Who is the State to decide who's normal and who isn't! The State isn't GOD!"

Doctor: "Oh dear. Nurse, nurse? Bring sedatives."

Janet: "Take the bandages off! Take them off!"

Doctor: "Well, we were hoping to keep them on another couple days, maybe stretch out the suspense of this episode to an hour...but okay."

Nurse #1: "You look tired, Doctor."

Doctor: "I hadn't thought about it. I suppose I have been under some tension. Dealing with the ugly and all that. I've seen this woman's real face--her soul. It just makes me wonder if conformity is the answer."

Nurse #1: "Doctor? What are you saying?"

Doctor: "Sorry. We're barely at the twenty minute mark and I thought a long self reflective monologue was called for."

Nurse #1: "This case has upset your balance, your sense of values."

Doctor: "That, and working in a hospital where there are so many power outages."

Nurse #2: "Leader's speaking tonight. He goes on in just a few minutes. Hope it's Orwellian and not Vonnegut-esque tonight."

Sadako: "Flat-screen TVs. Well, Rod, you may not have been able to predict the future of artificial intelligence, time travel, or extraterrestrial life, but you got TV right."

Leader: "Tonight's fireside chat is on glorious conformity. As is the tradition, I'll be saving any close up or medium shots for the conclusion of my speech."


Doctor: "Now, Miss Tyler, time to remove the bandages and reveal whether we'll accept you as one of us or whether you get to live out your life as the modern day equivalent of a leper. I'm going to have to ask that you remain calm."

Janet: "All right."

Doctor: "No change! No change at all! She's not bulldog esque. She's barely even spaniel like in appearance!"

Janet: "No! NO!"

Doctor: "Miss Tyler! Miss Tyler! Don't be afraid. This man, Walter Smith, is here to help you. I know he seems ugly to you now but he's going to go with you to a colony of other ug--er, beautifully challenged people."

Walter: "Just keep in mind one thing, Miss Tyler. An old, very old saying. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You'll come to realize that soon."

Sadako: "Sorry, Walter, I didn't quite get the overall point of this episode. Do you think you could be a little less subtle?"