Wednesday, June 30, 2010

As Retold by Sadako: Madeline

After the success of my recent Eloise post, I decided I would do a Madeline one. On y snark!

In an old house in Paris
All covered in vines
Lived twelve little girls in two straight lines.

They received quite a formal education
In learning how never to break formation.

In two straight lines they broke their bread
Brushed their teeth
Channeled Adrian Monk
And went to bed.

They left the house at half past nine
In two straight lines
In rain or shine

Never once did they break routine in all their lives
To alter the schedule would give them hives.

They smiled at the good
And frowned at the bad.
And moral ambiguity made them very sad.

The cutest one was called Madeline.
She wasn't afraid of living in a vermin infested house

She befriended each and every mouse

To the tiger in the zoo, Madeline said, "Honh honh honh, silly bourgeois tigre!"

And of all the girls at school,
Madeline was always first
In the orphanage death pool.

In the middle of one night
Miss Clavel put on her light
And said, "Something is not right."

Little Madeline sat up in bed.
Surely she might be dying
To engage in unscheduled crying!

Dr. Cohn came and dialed: DANton-ten-six
"Nurse," he said, "I've figured out a way to rhyme appendix!"

Everybody had to cry
Not a single eye was dry
For to engage in nonconformity
Would have been quite a travesty.

Dr. Cohn took Madeline away in the night and
in two hours,
Madeline woke up in a room filled with flowers.

Ten days passed.
One day Miss Clavel said, "Isn't this a fine-
to visit Madeline?"

The girls nodded: it was time!
But oh, they sighed,
To appear in a book free of stilted rhyme!

In they walked and then said, "Ahh"
Candy, toys, and a dollhouse from Papa
But the biggest shock by far,
Was the mark of individuality: a stomach scar!

That night the girls broke their bread
Brushed their teeth
And went to bed.

All of a sudden Miss Clavel knew something was not right
Sensing a disaster, she ran fast and then faster
She asked,
"Please children, do, tell me what is troubling you?"

"Boohoo, we want to have our appendix out, too!"

Said Miss Clavel,
"I'm sorry, little girls
But I'm afraid I haven't another rhyme
For appendix this time."